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Rip It Up*

Updated: Aug 2, 2023

Most football pundits will resort to the time-worn “Of course there was No Plan B” line at some point to explain why any team failed to reach the dizzy heights of its potential In truth most teams wouldn’t know Plan A let alone B or appreciate these cunning plans and their significance So it was on Wednesday night’s AstroTurf attritional session The weather had kindly abated to allow the prospect of a decent game following early stormy conditions


The dozen denizens of the dark were quickly warmed by Clarkie as El Presidente roamed their number with bibs to dispense First efforts proved unsatisfactory due to a cock-up in the counting department Finally having adjusted the line ups accordingly the teams lined as follows;


Orange - Deano, Chris Willo, Tom Stretch, Gonzalo, Paul Porter and Steve Goldie


Blue - Mike Ox, Darron Walley, Daz Sammo, Gaz, Michelle and Tom Derby


The night was chilly with occasional gusts to encourage players to pass accurately In the opening exchanges Orange seemed to have found their rhythm with excellent passing and movement Blue were content to defend deeper and soak up whatever Orange could serve up Blue attacking the famous Far End strook first however when Gaz hit a speculative effort all along the floor from some distance to wrong foot Paul (pressed into service as Orange keeper) into the bottom corner of the net 1-0 to Blue


Michelle spurned a chance to double the advantage, just narrowly wide after a good set up from Daz Orange calmly found their way back on terms with measured passes and interplay with Deano & Gonzalo to the fore It was little surprise then that Tom Stretch claimed an equaliser from a forward overload that Orange had created 1-1 and no more than the Orange deserved for their work

There were some edgy moments when the Orange defence was peeled open usually by their own mistakes Gifting opponents with sloppy clearances or lazy covering was bound to cause problems Having been fortunate when Mike Ox was just off target, Michelle made no mistake to steer Blues ahead 2-1 on the stroke of half time


After the break Orange gifted Daz a third with another suicidal clearance 3-1 At the other end Darron and Gaz were solid in their defence as Orange mounted another comeback Deano, Tom Stretch and Gonzalo moved the ball around to probe for an opening Deano eventually found a way through with a smart turn and shot across the keeper 3-2 to Blue


For a period the Orange offensive endeavour seemed likely to pay off But despite controlling possession for large parts of the play Orange’s defensive frailty was all too obvious As a struggling Steve Goldie had his spell in the net, Blue took full advantage


Daz and then Darron simply fired on target and were fully rewarded with goals that most fully fit keepers would have dealt with The 5-2 score was extended shortly after with Tom Derby on hand to punish yet another poor clearance 6-2 to Blue Orange having looked the better side for long periods of the game were punished for not shutting down at the back Plan B required some greater defensive control and composure Chris Willo and Paul Porter plugged away for Orange but couldn’t prevent a heavy defeat 6-2 the final score

Outdoor 6-a-side games are of course the norm and easily facilitated on the AstroTurf but transfer that same combination indoors and it’s a totally different proposition There’s not the same space and so games tend to be more frenetic Kudos must go to Referee Jeff Betty, who kept a firm grip on proceedings throughout


The teams indoors were;


Red - Andy Man, Dave Gray, Ray, Disco Deggs, Les Meldrew and Thatto Dave


Colours (not Red) - Phil the Power, Citeh Geoff, Lord Rainford, Joe the Ghost, Steve Honeyman and Andy (Enoch) Powell


The teams were evenly matched in the first period before rehydration Steve Honeyman claimed the evening’s first, for once enjoying not being closely marked by some of his team mates, In the second segment his hold up ability meant Colours could forge ahead Reds were struggling to get into the game Deggsy isolated up front Andy Man struggled to get a grip on the game and but for the keeping heroics of Thatto Dave Reds could have been buried in the onslaught In the final period a goal created by a perfectly directed pass from a corner by Joe let Citeh Geoff smash home (still no consolation for his unreported one a week earlier) At 5-0 to Colours Ray scored a Red consolation to maintain his goal a game record 5-1 Colours claimed two further unanswered goals to ease to a 7-1 that was emphatic All six players contributed to the score


In the post match analysis before promising to take each game as it comes, The Deluded One explained he was disappointed and that boys will be hurting too He promised that only hard work would turn the season around and he was available for Christmas Pantomime Oh no he isn’t! Plan B will feature Fat Sam coming in to take charge until the end of the Season he didn’t add

Rip It Up* - Orange Juice


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