top of page

No way to treat a lady*

The last week wrote a remarkable new chapter in the Club’s history We featured our first Ladies team playing in Le Tournoi in direct competition with our history-making Over 65s The circumstances were a little trickier than could have been expected at the planning stage of the event

The Ladies were under-strength with the absence of the Judith Chalmers vacationers, so after a rare bout of decisive quick-thinking the Ladies nine-strong match day outfit included a few men who had not previously played in the event In sharp contrast their opponents, having jettisoned their elder statesmen from last season, including a youthful line up for the present campaign

The ‘Ladies’ Representative team was -

Margaret, Anita, Sheila, Kirsty, Michelle Berry plus Phil Holland, Amazon Prime, Wickie and Walter

Over 65s - Tom Derby, Eamon, Tom Stretch, Kenny, Little John, Paul Jennings, Mika and Donal

As befitting a crack outfit the 65s played with ruthless efficiency with full respect for their opponents The game was locked 0-0 for the first third, with the round of substitutes demonstrating the depth of the 65s squad At half time it was 2-1 with the Men ahead After the final round of substitutions the Men put the result beyond doubt with five further goals as their opponents finally wilted 7-1 with all applauded for the quality of football on display

On a grizzly day with ominous weather conditions those not involved in the event played an impromptu session of their own Photographs of that session were badly effected by the especially dark clouds overhead

But for the record the selections are provided below Lord Rainford’s faithful retainer providing this sparsely detailed Italic-fest

Away from le Tournai we had the remaining players at Ruskin line up for an 8 v 8 session as follows:-


Orange: Tony ‘Snakehips’, Lord Rainford, Enoch Powell, Les Meldrew, Phil Moss, Gaz,  Andy Zac, and Mark (no relation) Davies


Blue: Phil the Power, Haggis, one of the Hollands (possibly Barry)

Tony K, Chris Kelsall, Dave ‘Grazer’ Clark, Gonzalo and Martin ‘Chopper’ Williams


Obviously intimidated by having to face both Chopper and Grazer; Oranges quickly found themselves three goals behind. So as to prevent a complete demolition Chris K and Tony Snakehips swapped sides in £multi-million deal and the Orange fightback began.

From their first attack after the switch Andy Z fed the ball inside to Lord Rainford who reduced the deficit (whether the effort featured the Sussex Sweep or not is not divulged) After turning round with Sky leading 3-1 it was now a much more even game. Chris K in particular gave Light Blues the opportunity to rue their generosity as he quickly scored a hat trick to put Oranges in front. But it wasn’t all one way as a series of blocks and keeper saves thwarted Gonzalo, Haggis and Phil the Power from drawing Sky back level terms.

Such were their efforts to get back into the game that the Blues left gaps at the back; some selfless passing and cool finishing from Oranges left a final score of 7-3. Andy Zac the Cypriot hit-man claimed a penalty on his return to action, calmly striking home after an errant defender had strayed into the keeper’s area

Despite the rather one-sided score and enforced player switch; it was a good game although perhaps slightly speedier than would have ben usual had we only had a Referee!

Can’t believe Jeeves had to write that last line but it’s a funny old game


 A week later the Ladies played their last Pool A game taking on Over 60s A in a game that that was just as competitive Clint Eastwood set the tone with a good shot that hit a post and rebounded off the prone frame of the unlucky Anita to open the scoring The 60s pressed with a high line that kept their opponents constantly having to battle to advance into the 60s half A poor clearance was picked off to double the advantage Clint again on target

The return of veteran Colin the late Williams and the bronzed Cockney Rebel kept the Ladies in the match but inevitably defensive errors continued to damage their cause

Phil scored off both posts before Clint wrapped up his first half hat trick Michelle Berry worked hard throughout as did Kirsty but the 60s gave full respect with goals with clinical efficiency and defensive solidity throughout

After the substitutions the game became a war of attrition with the 60s exacting a punishing defeat on their plucky rivals 7-0 the final score with the Ladies lack of fire power critical on a day that resolved the Pool A final conundrum

The teams were;

Ladies Select - Margaret, Kirsty, Anita, Sheila, Eileen, Michelle Berry plus Cockney Rebel, Wickie and Colin the late

Over 60s - Tony K, Tony S, Clint, Les, Andy Man(anger), Mark NR, Chris Kelsall, Enoch and Phil the Power


Over 65s clinching top spot with full points with the Over 60s win against the Ladies securing the Runners Ups berth

The Pool B decider was an intriguing tussle with the Over 40s taking on the Over 50s both teams unbeaten after the first round of games

The 40s started strongly and might have been 4 or 5 ahead before Chris Prout claimed the first goal Ian Lefty Bridge hit a fine leveller returning after a prolonged period on the injured list 1-1 with 3 minutes to the first substitution window

Chris 4G set up fellow Chris and team mate Prout hitting his second 2-1 to the Youth project

Keeper Owens produced a couple of good saves before Deggs and Haggis combined for the third 40s goal 3-1 and a handy Highland lead before the strategic substation switches took place

Thatto Dave, Grav, Deano had been held back to strengthen the 50s final push But the 40s introduced Gonzalo and Cockney Rebel plus the guile of the Ghost to see the game out

There was an immediate impact with the 40s racing further ahead Deggs took full advantage of the chances created with a hat trick more than making up for his earlier profligacy One Cruyff turn and shot was especially demoralising for the 50s Gonzalo ended with 4 goals sealing another good Cup result Joe steamed in for his usual ghost goal

Deano powered 2 goals for the 50s But the final result an 11-3 victory for the 40s gives little of the true picture The 50s deserved more from the game and will at least progress to meet the 65s in the semi final


Over 40s win the group with 2 victories and advance to play the Pool A Runners Up the Over 60s A in the Tournoi Semi Final

Runners Up Over 50s will play the pre-tournament favourites the Over 65s to decide who will meet in the grand final to be staged on Thursday 25 May at Ruskin Drive at 6:30 prior to the AGM and Presentations in the Wicket later

Semi Finals Wednesday 10th May and Wednesday 17th May

As the Club enters the WFA National Cup this weekend Le Tournoi takes a brief halt

No Way To Treat A Lady* - Bonnie Rait

Recent Posts

See All


Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page