Crumbs Off The Table*
- St Helens Walking Football
- Apr 5
- 5 min read
A strange week in the life of SHWFC began with Lord Rainford and El Presidente sitting down with Council Active Lives, Leisure & Fitness Team Manager Ian Grice to reinforce the link between Club and Council We owe our very existence to the help we’ve had from the Council over these ten years The relationship has endured some challenges of late but has emerged stronger and more sustainable as time will unquestionably prove
As members assembled and readied for the session under the guidance of Football Manager, Andy Man, there were more walking wounded joining the swollen ranks of spectators than ever Teams were processed, bibbed and photographer along the following lines;
Yellow - John Hill, Little John, Snakehips, Lefty Bridge, Mike Thompson and Enoch
Sky - Wickie, Andy Man, Brian, Phil the Cat and Sheila
Black - Kirsty, Barry Wizz, McSpeed, Cockney Rebel and Mika
Purple - PaulF, Steve Honeyman, Les Meldrew, Donal and Phil the Moss
Pink - Phil the Power, Wor Eileen, Haggis, Mark NR and Joe the Ghost
Red - Tom Derby, Les H, Glen, Ashy and Chris K
Referees for the morning were Jeff Betty resplendent in Red, Eamon O’Hooligan in a neat Neon number and Alan Aldo Aldridge (sporting a natty green number)
We welcomed Liverpool County FA Development Manager Stu Carrington to watch the games and discuss the Club’s continuing progress We are arranging our sessions under the FA’s Just Play programme, a framework that will create a mini league structure for the sessions We will have access to coaching courses, referee training as well as more equipment for the sessions The cooperation and support will benefit the Club in the immediate and longer term
Oh and there was some football played too
Aldo took charge of the Pink v Black on Pitch A a fine game that underlined just how wide the breadth of quality that now exists in the Club The ball fizzed about the pitch as play switched from end to end Joe and Andy notched up goals for Pink with McSpeed and the Cockney Rebel matching their strikes for Black Overall some excellent play and a draw honours even for starters
Next up Sky just shaded Yellow thanks to a fine strike by Brian 1-0 Alan’s final match was another close affair with Black claiming the spoils Yellow undone by a solitary McSpeed goal 1-0
Meanwhile on the adjacent pitch O’Hooligan took control of a feisty encounter between Black and Red Quite how Black could play whilst playing Pink on Pitch A has baffled better men than this reporter but I’m assured this is the full picture Kirsty who had another fine morning’s work hit a great goal for Black but goals by Les H and Tom Derby swung the game in favour of Red 2-1 the final score
Game two featured Sky (possibly) and Pink (definitely) with Sky recording the highest score of the session with five goals, spread out between Wickie, Haggis, Andy Man 2 and Phil the Cat Pink replied thanks to Mark and Joe the Ghost 5 v 2 the morning’s highest aggregate score too
Sky showed their goal threat again in their final match but were pitted against Purple who carried their own goal potency too Haggis, who continues to display growing confidence was on the mark Brian and Phil the Cat both grabbed well deserved rewards as Sky prevailed by 3 goals to 2 Big Phil the Moss and our illustrious Treasurer Mr Meldrew were the Purple bruisers to hit the net
The far end under Jeff Betty Birchall’s grip started brightly with Purple over-powering the hard-working Pink (what again?) Steve Honeyman grabbed a brace for Purple Phil the Moss the other in a one-sided 3-0 opening win
Red faced Purple next up in a much tighter game Goals by Chris K and Tom Derby steered Red to a close win Big Phil claimed the consolation for Purple but Red held out Ashy in the armed nets making a string of fine saves to keep the advantage
The final action of the morning included a much deserved hat trick for Chris Kelsall who grafted all morning to drive Red onwards Yellow made too many defensive errors and gifts to their opponents Ian Lefty Bridge found the net for the Yellow’s only goal 3-1 the final verdict
Our visitor enjoyed watching the action on each pitch and was impressed by the enthusiasm and sportsmanship on display The posse of spectators were shown lots of honest endeavour and work to keep them entertained As we retired to the sumptuous surroundings of the Slipper Salon and our reserved table (Ladies Formation Pram Club looked on with envy) we learned that Haggis and our newish member Mike Thompson have been team mates for Saints rugby league teams Wor Eileen marked her recent birthday with the provision of several cakes that satisfied the assembled membership After the early predicted damage by the membership hyenas just one slice remained The fate of that slice is contained on the photo below No contest

Wednesday night’s session was the first summer session with the Sports Hall now out of bounds to all but Joe the Ghost who played in the parallel universe in an entertaining match with himself
Numbers were predictably lower than usual due in no small measure to the Derby played in that most iconic of stadiums …the San Siro featuring mighty Inter and AC Milan in the Coppa Italia semi final a fixture to get the pulses racing for sure
Despite the distractions fourteen players met to contest a tricky match under chilly conditions Andy Man took centre stage to warm his charges before assembling two sides of eight in the following order;
Yellow - Steve Honeyman, Martin Mc, Jason, Neil Stretch, Nigel, Gaz, Eileen and Little John
Blue - Andy Man, Midweek Michelle, Chris 4G, Cockney Rebel, Grav, Joe the Ghost, Deano and Haggis
The game was a very close contest with just one goal scored early in the piece by Deano for Blue Midweek Michelle produced a string of good saves for Blue Her outstanding work was matched by Martin Mc for Yellow His performance included a superb full length effort to keep out a Cockney Rebel snapshot The save was good enough for the cameras, unfortunately no cameras were available to capture the moment
Referee Jeff Betty kept a firm grip on play which at times was a tad frantic Some fine sporting moments too but just one goal to end the week
The big Derby ended 1-1 in Milan with the second leg to decide who will play Bologna or Empoli scheduled for 23 April Can we expect another low turn out that night?
Crumbs Off The Table* - Laura Lee (60s and 70s Soul Songstress who recorded for legendary Chicago Chess record label)
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