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Long Shot (Kick De Bullet)*

33 eager Walking Footballers arrived at Ruskin on Monday. There was a brief welcome back to Liz and Julie before their inevitable next holiday; and also to long-standing stalwart, Colin ‘the late’ Williams whose latest fashion statement seemed to be to go without socks.


After Gaz put us through some stretches we split up as listed below, with Purple playing Green in a 6 a side game with the other teams playing a round robin. Our refs were Jeff Bettye plus Steve Jones in his first ref stint (thanks and well done Steve)  for the round robin and Phil the Power (later replaced by Mr Meldrew) for the 6 a side game.


Purple - Sheila, Lord R, Gaz, Donal, Les Meldrew and Triallist

Green - Amazon P, Enoch, Phil the Cat, Julie, Kirsty and Colin ‘the late’ Williams

Orange - Andy Manager, Haggis, Little John, Les H, Grazer and Kenny

Pink - Monday Michelle, Mark no relation, Barry Whizz, Ian Lefty B and Margaret

Black - Steve J, Liz, Mike McSpeed, Anita and Simon

Sky - Mika, Wickie, Citeh Geoff, Paul, Brian P.


Observant readers will notice the absence of a Monday stalwart, Tom ‘Stretch’’. Had he got wind of the fact there was no cake this week? We shall never know.


We have pictures for the Purple and Green, but no photographic evidence for the other 4 teams, whose squads were later listed (not without a considerable amount of head scratching) by all those congregating in the sumptuous surroundings of the Slipper Lounge for a coffee afterwards


The (mostly) 5 a siders kicked off with Orange and Black playing out a 1-1 draw, Steve and Kenny scoring, whilst next door Sky narrowly beat Pink 1-0 with Paul scoring. In their 2nd outing Black drew again with a 1-1 against Pink, scorers Mike McSpeed and Barry

Orange and Sky were all square in the other game 0-0.

And so to the final round of matches and a personal triumph for Haggis, who scored a hat trick for Orange as they beat Pink 3-1, Ian getting the consolation. In the other final game the draw specialists Black continued their run with a 0-0 this time against Sky.

The 6 a side game proved a tough competition with both teams playing some good passing football, but with Green having the edge. Amazon P was proving hard to handle, Colin rediscovered his old form (and speed) and Julie just played calmly in the middle, controlling everything. Triallist, Gaz, Les M and Lord R did their best but eventually a long shot from Dave beat Gaz to put Green 1-0 up.


I have to say this success did rather go to Amazon Prime’shead as he then tried shooting from anywhere within range but never nearly as accurately. Purple plugged away but Donal and Sheila just couldn’t get that finishing touch; and Andy Enoch made sure chances were few and far between.


Still at 1-0 down it was all to play for until a spell of Purple pressure led to a breakaway and another long shot, this time from Colin, put Green 2-0 up. They could even afford the luxury of a penalty miss after referee Meldrew (who’d switched with Phil) decided there had been a DOGSO after a rather spectacular tumble from Phil the Cat

Purple kept pressing; Gaz hit the woodwork, Julie saved off the line, whilst at the other end Kirsty put in some powerful shooting which Lord Rainford could still feel the effects of a day or two later. Wince


A good competitive game played in the right spirit. Two long shots were the difference, that’s the way it goes sometime!


The long shot phenomenon has in recent weeks been used to great effect When defenders back off to deny space near the box, early shooting from distance has been spectacularly employed Gonzalo and Chris 10P are especially inclined to seize such opportunities

Wednesday’s Sutton SoccerDome session was played in the best conditions of the year to date (no floodlights were employed during the evening) Twenty Seven players were split into 3 teams of Seven and a rogue attachment of elite combatants, with no resemblance to the A Team, made up the remaining six

Those teams were;

Red - Les Meldrew, Thatto Dave, Kidda, Lord Rainford, Deggs and Tom Stretch

White - Deano, Kenny, Les Hewitt, Andy Man(anger), Ji, Gaz and Little John

Blue - Gonzalo, Grav, Chris 4G, Jason, Wickie and Darron

Green - Chris 10P, Keith, Citeh Geoff, Midweek Michelle, Phil the Power, Enoch and Haggis

Referees for the session were El Presidente who took care of Blue v Red and Jeff Betty who bossed the Green and White match

Blue opened the scoring with Darron finding the net at the second attempt his first effort hitting the post after a good sweeping move

The ultra dry pitch caused grip problems to a number of players Gonzalo hit a venomous shot that literally swept our local member of the landed gentry off his feet Recovering his feet and dignity M’Lord was soon back in action with wounds to show for all interested parties

Jason hit a Garincha like shot to double the Blue lead 2-0 with 8 minutes elapsed Blue continued to pass the ball around with ease but could not add to their lead Graham Kidd swooped to fire home making it 2-1 at the halfway mark

Lord Rainford employed his right forearm to swipe the ball away in a display of Olde English long bow prowess Gonzalo fired Blue further ahead 3-1 a half chance dispatched whilst the defenders moved to close him down The game was straightforward to handle as players heeded the warnings given out Good to see the football catching the attention rather than the Dark Arts

The second half started with Blue extending the lead to 4-1 thanks to Gonzalo Blue were clinical in their finishing Grav claimed the softest of goals for 5-1, allowed to take an eternity before passing the ball beyond everyone into the far corner

El Presidente decided to take executive action to address the possession inbalance with Deggs switched to Blue (cruel irony) and Chris 4G moving inthe opposite direction The exchange helped to add some more steel to the Red rearguard Deggs enjoyed more chances with the Blue supply lines still on top Blue scored their first goal of the second period after 12 minutes Deggs employing his big toe to great effect 6-1 Deggs was penalised for breaking the running embargo a goal ruled out despite protestations, 6-1 the score remained until the sun set on proceedings

Elsewhere it was a much tighter affair with Green victorious by the odd goal in a five goal thriller Chris 10P claimed 2 (how many from distance?) Les Hewitt grabbed the other, Kenny struck for White with an own goal increasing the pressure on Green

After leading 2-1 at half time Green sealed their win the second of Chris 10Ps brace

A great display of Walking Football remarked Jeff Betty

It would seem Walking Football is alive and kicking after all

Long Shot (Kick De Bucket)* - The Pioneers (ancient reggae anthem recorded on wax cylinder possibly)

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