Half Nelson*

Another in our occasional tales from Far Far Away

Eileen (Come On)and Roger (Paul Moore) have been in New Zealand for almost 2 months now, though in the early weeks they couldn't play walking football with WF Nelson FC, as they were still travelling around seeing the sights

However, “we've now played for the last 3 Wednesdays and have got to know some of the players really well in The Boot Room South (pronounced Turks Head in Māori)

They explained that they were playing in a tournament in Blenheim, about 2 hours away from our base in Nelson. We fancied a night away in wine country (pronounced on the lash) so decided to go and support them.

It transpired that the 'tournament' was just one game against a team from Christchurch (great bit of over promotion) We got there at 2.50 but the game was already underway having kicked off slightly early

Nelson was already a goal down having conceded straight from the kickoff! The game was 7 a side on played grass and the grass was cut way too long! It is evident that each Club plays with quite different rules That passed with little problem until late into the 70 minute game Having failed to iron out the potential issues prior to the start this led to a series of penalties awarded in the final part of the contest”

First Rule of Comedy always ensure both teams agree on the 'Rules' prior to kick off

The scoring went back and forth until a 'suspiciously young' Christchurch player picked the ball up and ran (well that's a foul right there) the length of the pitch to score the winner 4 - 3 to Christchurch

It transpired that the miscreant had played for North West Counties team Nelson FC over in the UK, as distinct from Nelson NZ

Nelson FC UK are currently 13th in the table trailing leaders Pilkingtons FC (Yes our Monday session hosts) by a mere 41 points though they’ve 2 games in hand Pilkingtons need to win just one of their 3 remaining games to be crowned Champions

Back in New Zealand both teams went to the Blenheim Boot Room for a post-match chat and a few frothy ones.

Sprig & Fern Tavern

We finished the day with a nice curry with Come On’s Sister and her Husband

I had an early night but got up to watch RS v Citeh at 12.30 am. Why did I bother?”

Answers on a postcard to Lord Rainford's Butler care of Rainford Towers

See u all soon, from Come On and Roger

Half Nelson* - Charlie Parker