I’ve Passed This Way Before*

Any lingering doubts about the changing seasons were extinguished on Monday morning as members gathered at Ruskin Sports Village for the week’s first session. It was cold, but mercifully dry—at least! Just how cold? Well, by kick-off, El Presidente was taking orders for Club gloves as little hands and fingers succumbed to the frosty chill wind.

Andy Man put his charges through a gruelling set of Pilates-inspired workouts before announcing the day’s teams.

The Teams

Here’s how the teams lined up:

• Black: Little John, Sheila, Chopper, McSpeed, Rick, Mike Bates, and Mika

• Purple: Robin, Haggis, Mark NR, Les H, Aldo, and Phil the Cat

• Old Gold: Enoch, Donal, Les Meldrew, Andy Man, Margaret, Mike Thomo, and Grav

• Blue: Phil the Power, Snakehips, Tom Stretch, Liz, John Hill, and Wickie

• Green: Citeh Geoff, Steve Eccles (an impressive debutant), Thatto Dave, the Honeyman, Monday Michelle, and El Presidente

• Red: Mark Armstrong, Ashy, Bridgey, Steve Jones, Glen, and Jill Tomo

  
  
  
  

Referees for the morning included returning Ref Les Lomax, Head Judge Ref Jeff Betty, and Charlie, who went about his work with calm efficiency.

Match Highlights

Black and Old Gold, with their extra personnel, played out the full session under Charlie’s guidance. The game was a good tussle, with both teams looking vulnerable yet threatening in attack. The only outcome possible was the almost inevitable draw. Three first-half goals by McSpeed might have tipped the balance in favour of Black, but Old Gold showed great stickability with two goals each from Mike Thomo and Margaret. Little John fired the final Black goal, making it 4-4—the final score. Great watch, apparently! Honours even, handshakes all round.

Green looked like a very solid selection, boasting loads of defensive experience. With debutant Steve Eccles and the industrious Monday Michelle, their side had the edge throughout the morning. In their first match against Blue, play was mostly in the Blue defensive areas. Steve Honeyman worked hard to find the opening goal, which was soon followed by Steve Eccles’ debut goal. Green restricted Blue to occasional counter-attacks and proved too organised to concede. The final verdict? Two-nil as Green eased to their first win!

Next up, Green travelled to the adjacent pitch to tackle Red. The game settled into a similar pattern, with Red strangled in midfield by great coverage. A hat trick by the Honeyman eased the Green machine to a comfortable 3-0 win. That’s a 100% record for their morning’s work and no goals conceded!

Red had played Purple in their opening game, winning a close encounter thanks to goals by Glen and Lefty Bridge. Purple was always a threat, with Aldo finding one goal in reply, making it 2-1—a close margin with Red holding on to claim the victory. Purple found Blue a more straightforward proposition in the final game. Mark NR hit a hat trick, and Phil the Cat added a brace as Purple powered to a 5-1 victory. Phil the Power did claim the Blue consolation. Tough day at the office—seven goals conceded with just a solitary strike in reply.

A Sweet Gesture

There was a special moment in the Slipper Salon (still awaiting the end of the refurbishment to regain its sumptuous status) as debutant Steve Eccles produced two trays of confectionery for his fellow members. As impressive as that gesture was, he was gently reminded that he still needs to present his initiation song to be totally accepted as a bona fide SHWFC inductee. After a recent cake drought, the gesture was most welcome. “Jolly good cakes,” said cake aficionado Stretch T. Parr. And who would disagree?

Outward Bounders Teams

Outward Bounders teams were selected in really difficult circumstances, with no option in the end but to go with a 9v9 game. This is incredibly hard for the Football Manager to handle. At 6 PM, he was planning four teams of five, but two dropouts meant a rethink. Credit goes to those who honoured their availability declaration. Thanks to Andy and Ref Jeff for preparing these reports.

• Orange: Helen, John Cousins, Mark Dav, Steve C, Chris 4G, Andy, Simon Wickie, and Haggis

• Yellow: Sully, Dawn, Deggs, Tom Stretch, Subbuteto Dave, Little John, Deano, Mike Thomo, and Ian Harding

  
  
  
  

The game ended 6-0 to Orange. Sounds like a thrashing, but it wasn't. The main difference was the victor’s organisation. It was a bit disappointing that we had two no-shows, so we had to play a 9v9 with Jeff kindly reffing. Simon and Steve Carine each scored two goals, while Haggis and Helen scored one apiece. Clinical finishing and the determination to repel all Yellow efforts made for a frantic game with little space to develop the sweeping range of passing that is a feature of our regular games. Wickie and John Cousins shone in defence.

Despite a tight, even start, Yellow decided to throw caution to the wind and go all-out attack. This unfortunately left their defence lacking in numbers to contain the Orange forwards. The Orange team kept their shape well throughout, with great link-up play from Andy, Simon, and Mark Dav. Haggis, Steve, and Helen caused constant problems for Tom, Dawn, and Little John, the overworked Yellow defenders.

Meanwhile, in the white heat of the sports hall, the Innards stripped off and stepped up performances for their own bonanza.

• White: Phil the Power, Meldrew, Les H, Midweek Michelle, and Grav

• Orange: Joe the Ghost, Citeh Geoff, Tom Derby, Colin, and Trialist

  
  

Blue took a quick two-goal lead thanks to a defensive slip, picked off by Tom Derby, plus an own goal from White. Grav hit back to reply for White before Tom scored again, making it 3-1 to Blue at half-time. The second half started well for White, with Les Hewitt scoring, and then a thunderous shot from Midweek Michelle brought the scores level. Grav added another for White. In chasing the equaliser, Blue left themselves exposed, and Les H and then Grav scored again to produce a 6-3 scoreline.

Geof Prout acted as referee on the side and did well, even taking some stick, as Les Meldrew put it.

Let’s ensure we use the availability polls to ensure we have the chance to join sessions for our personal and fellow members' benefit.

I’ve Passed This Way Before* - Jimmy Ruffin