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Voice Inside My Head*

Voices Inside My Head*


As we seem to remark with unswerving optimism and grateful thanks, Monday morning sessions at the Ruskin Sports Village are rarely victim of the extremes of British weather Another storm hit British shores on Sunday bringing huge disruption to transport and normal lives in some parts of the country In St Helens a couple of twigs snapped off a tree and a wheelie bin was toppled in the rarefied altitude of Billinge


Monday was benign and peaceful with only a mild breeze to trouble our select band of players. 32 gathered as close to the white line that marks the touchline closest to the grandstand as is possible, ready to be gently shaken then stirred into action


The teams eventually chosen were;


Orange - Lord Rainford, Aldo, Sheila, Phil the Moss, Steve Jones and Willo


Green - Kenny, Tom Banksy, Kirsty, Mika and Thatto Dave


Black - Grazer, Wickie, Gaz, Roger and Charlie


Pink - Haggis, Chopper, Michelle Monday, Lefty Bridge and Eamon


Sky - Paul F, Phil the Power, Citeh Geoff, Snakehips, Spiro and Chris K


Purple - Little John, Barry Wizz, Andy Man, McSpeed, Mark NR and Les



As there were 2 teams of six, it was decided that Sky and Purple would play their own match and not be subjected to periodic changes of opponents


In the first half of the encounter Sky were put under pressure in possession and subsequently found it difficult to clear their lines or put Purple under the cosh

Two almost identical goals by Barry Wizz fired Purple ahead with Les adding a third before the break to seal a 3-nil lead prior to Referee Colin the Late Williams blasting his whistle to bring the curtain down on the first half

After the break with Sky rearranging their ranks, things tightened considerably Chris K and Paul F scored two fine replies to ring alarm bells for Purple But two goals by McSpeed restored the advantage With Citeh Geoff poleaxed in the dying minutes of the game, Purple held their nerve to claim a 5-2 victory


On Pitch 1 Green and Orange was a tight affair 1-1 at the break and 2-2 at the final whistle Tom Banks hit a brace with other debutant Steve Jones marking his appearance with a goal and good display Mark and Phil hit goals for their opponents Green and Black was fairly even until Roger was forced to retire after a dizzy spell Kirsty switched sides to try to even out the play Tom Banksy claimed hat trick to enhance his growing reputation There was an unfortunate wrong footing of Grazer as a back pass from Gaz went agonisingly wrong Charlie did claim a converted penalty but Black were on the wrong side of a 6-2 score line

Game 3 on Pitch 1 featured Pink and Orange Michelle on target for Pink who were undone by goals by Lord Rainford, Aldo and a brace by Phil Moss Pink 1 - Orange 4 the final score


The morning ended with a cake celebration as is now standard At this rate we are going to contact Weight Watchers


Midweek witnessed a return to growing numbers more in line with expected levels

Indoors the fortunates fought out a tight game until the final quarter The game locked nil - nil at the first rehydration break Play was fast and sometimes too furious but Ref Jeff Betty kept a controlling grip on play Joe the Ghost shot Blue ahead Some exceptional saves kept things tight, but Steve Carine pounced twice, the second on a loose back pass to punish Blue Yellow 2-1 ahead at the halfway mark

Enoch found an equaliser for Blue before Steve claimed his hat trick Yellow now 3-2 ahead Enoch levelled again with a mis kick that eluded Les


Blue punished Yellow with 2 quick fire goals 5-3 as the final quarter started Kenny and Citeh Geoff marshalled the Blue rearguard before each would score to seal a well deserved 7-3 victory for Blue Steve unusually was thwarted from the penalty spot as time ran out


Meanwhile in the parallel universe outside, the AstroTurf entourage was sufficient to facilitate four teams;


White - Barry Wizz, Michelle Midweek, Deano, Gaz, Wickie and Andy Man


Green - The Ox, Keith, Eamon, Tom Stretch and Little John


Red - Darron, Dave M, Kiddo, Chris 4P (guest keeping), Thatto Dave and Chris 10P


Blue- Haggis, Neil Stretch, Mulla, Lord Rainford, Jason and Gonzalo

El Presidente, using a local landed gentry's Constabulary whistle, and The Cockney Rebel were Referees for proceedings

The evenings first matches included a comprehensive result for Red who hit four goals with Gonzalo claiming Blue's only replay Thatto Dave, Chris 10P, Darron with a shot that evaded everyone on its long journey from his own half 4-1 the result


Green raced into an early lead in their fixture with White Tom Stretch claimed a brace to fire Green ahead despite being starved of possession throughout much of the game White took an eternity to register their first goal thanks to a smart finish by Deano

Barry Wizz brought the sides level before Deano sealed the comeback win, steering a smart pass from Andy Man inside the far post 3-2 White recovering to register the win their possession demanded


Green and Blue served up a goal feast with Mike Ox and Gonzalo 2 for Blue and Eamon 2 and Jason also finding the net 3-3 a fair result neither side deserving to lose


The Red v White game was an equally tight affair though goals were a scarcity Darron claimed an early goal after some great teamwork and a sublime dummy by Kiddo Lots of great play followed but all to no avail 1-0 the narrow margin of victory as White prevailed

El Presidente had to remind many of the players that we play a strict brand of Walking Football, too many too quick abou5bthe pitch whilst others had to be directed to observe the Laws of the Game regarding tackling from behind and from the side


Red v Green was much simpler encounter to direct Red withdrew Darron (sportingly as they had an extra player advantage) Tom Stretch was rarely out of the action, hitting the Green opener and then producing 2 excellent saves during his spell between the posts Darron did find a gap to level for White Thatto Dave then Chris 10P and Darron again took Red to a 4-1 lead Tom stretched to make it 4-2 Thatto's finest made it 5-2 before some neat footwork along the byline by Mr Stretch was finished rom a wide angle by Mike Ox 5-3 the final score

Blue finished the night with a hard earned 3-1 victory over White Mulla and two excellent goals by Haggis enough to secure the win Deano did reply for White

Special praise was given to Haggis who grafted in defence (not his natural habitat) as well as up front (definitely his home area of the pitch) Well deserved goals for terrific effort


As the Boot Room crew assembled there was talk of Mike Ox, briefly the Ox in the Box. Lord Rainford who might need an oxygen tank for his next 2 sessions in one week Tom Stretch reaching new levels at both ends of the pitch In brief it was a night for players to achieve in whole new ways A triumph


Voices Inside My Head* - The (Dixie) Chicks





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