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Writer's pictureSt Helens Walking Football

This year’s Christmas Gift Wishlist












Andy Man(anger) Houghton - Favourable home draws in next year’s WFA National Cup

Darren ‘Daz’ Samson - Another Top 20 hit with a new recording of SHWFC Squad’s Cup Final song “it’s going home”


Tony ‘Snakehips’ Byrne - Compass to find the correct pitch

Joe ‘the Ghost’ Hardman - New cricketing protective apparel


Les ‘Victor Meldrew’ Brack - Shepherd’s crook for rounding up all subs

Dave ‘Babylon’ Gray - Portable 4 touch electric shock machine

Martin ‘Chopper’ Williams - New knee and banjo auto tuner

Martin ‘Cockney Rebel’ Briggs - Jellied eel flavoured crisps

Eamon O’Donnell - New Everton home shirt

Tom ‘Stretch’ Parr - Peter Crouch kit

Derek ‘Disco Deggs’ Taylor - New shooting boots with steel big toe cap

Jeff ‘Betty’ Birchall - New megaphone


Dave Bates - RS mug with broken handle if possible

Donal McCormack - New shirt with Donal in 6” bright letters on front & back (plus sleeves to be sure☘️)


Phil ‘the Power’ Middleton - Tailored Bib for all sessions

John ‘Lord Rainford’ Hawkins - NatWest reward vouchers


Steve ‘Clint’ Eastwood - 3 month rehabilitation in warmer climes

Steve ‘Goldie’ Goldthorpe - Direction finding device to get him around the pitch


Sharon Hand - Punchbag with referee effigy

Michelle Dunning - Anti-giggling sports drink


Chris ‘Gonzalo’ Fitzpatrick- National Over 40s Cup Winners Medal

Paul Porter - A new Nickname


Chris ‘Willo’ Wilson - Liverpool A-Z guide

Mike ‘Ox’ Oxley - A Wire winning season


Nigel ‘Smudger’ Smith - A half power switch for short passes (under 30 meters)

Darron Walley - An injury free year ahead


Gaz Clark - A quiet switch

Anita Ashcroft - First Lady Award trophy cabinet


Andy Powell - New nickname Enoch

Tom Derbyshire - Anti-back heel device


Mark Gravener - New joke book (or indeed any joke book)

Jill ‘Thomo’ Thomas - Ladies team winning season


Norman Ball - RS travel mug

Kirsty Stockton - Injury free season


Martin Mc McNevin - Friday evening fine weather guarantee

John ‘Little John’ Penders - Orange box for added height


Paul Moore - Geordie phrase book

Eileen Nicholson - Scouse phrase book


Liz McDonald - Jim membership

Dave Thatto Barrow - Sunbed pass


Margaret Mills - Loud kit

Mika Andrews - Directions to Halliwell Jones Stadium


Robin Barnes - Chester return to League

Laura Brown - Hockey Mask for goalkeeping


Sheila Darwin - New first aid kit (to remain unused)

Dean Cureton - Shooting boots


Steve Ford - Kalms tablets

Chris 4G Gourdji - Surname spelling guide


Harrison Haggis Lovett - Shoot on sight guide

Lee Thomas - ID for El Presidente who always gets his name wrong


Andy Zachariades- Surname spelling guide Greek

Charlie Bower - More sessions to work on continually improving fitness


Mark (no relation) Davies - Pace injection

John (Coach) Davies - New knees


Tony Kenny - Surname that isn’t a first name

David Markland - Colin Williams Alarm clock


Colin Phillips - Shirt sleeves

Julie Simmons - WFA Cup winners medal


John Pidgeon - Roller skates

Dave Prime - Energy off switch


El Presidente - Injury free 2023/24//25/26 etc

Alain McKie - Better 2023


Mike Andrews- Trophy cabinet

Neil Owens - Coaching jacket


Citeh Geoff Painter - Air brakes

Dave Grazer Clark - Rude health in 2023


To anyone we’ve missed our apologies

Have a great Christmas and even better 2023


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