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All Things Must Pass*

These pages have long championed the pure enjoyment and effectiveness of short sharp accurate passing In a world where few (at our age we didn’t suggest) can strike a ball with unerring accuracy over a distance of a few yards we applaud those who can achieve that measure of greatness Monday’s Ruskin Sports Village session witnessed many examples of the art of short deft passing Playing a team mate into an advanced position by merely diverting a travelling ball a matter of degrees, taking an opponent out of reach Its great to watch and be a part of

Let’s give praise to some of our Pass Masters

Alan ‘Aldo’ Aldridge, Andy ‘Man(anger)’ Houghton, Chris ‘Gonzalo’ Fitzpatrick, Jill ‘Tomo’ Thomas, Chris 10P Prout and ‘Citeh’ Geoff Painter plus several others are excellent at making short passes in our sessions


In other news…..

Our best wishes to Eamon O’Donnell who is continuing his recovery from recent surgery We hope to see him back soon - setting out the pitches and polishing his halo as Clubman of the Year

John ‘Lord Rainford’ Hawkins our esteemed Secretary and guest columnist is currently enjoying a break in 1970s Sussex where he’s defending his Morris Dancing (whilst under the influence) World Title Avid readers will recall his recent fitness worries but can be assured his ankle bells are still in fine working order

Martin ‘Cockney Rebel’ Briggs is also enjoying a well earned sun bed vacation, swapping his Haydock sun bed for a more exotic location in Tenerife Martin has not been idle though, he has used his time to scout potential new acts for a spot at one of our Social events A picture of Karen (Raffle Ticket Queen) and Mr Rebel can be seen below with Roxy Risqué at the legendary Ruby Slipper venue That should certainly brighten up the Percival Suite

Anyone missed is either away far too often or has been savagely over-looked by the Editor

Monday’s teams were;

Black (7) - Ian Lefty Bridge, Tony Snakehips Byrne, Tom S trench Parr, Gareth Gaz Clark, Harrison Haggis Lovett, Chris Willo Wilson and Liz McDonald


Green (6) - Sheila Darwin, Eileen Nicholson, Phil the Cat Mullarkey, Barry Wizz Holland, Chris Gonzalo Fitzpatrick and Phil the Power Middleton


Sky (6) - Andy Zac Zachariades, Alan Aldo Aldridge, Martin Chopper Williams, Margaret Mills, Andy Man Houghton and Phil (the) Moss


Orange (6) - Chris Kelsall, Les Meldrew Brack, Dave Amazon Prime, Peter El Presidente Fitzpatrick, Paul Roger Moore and Mike McSpeed Maguire


Pink (6) - Lee Jenko Jenkinson, Donal McCormack, Andy Enoch Powell, Les Hewitt, Little John Penders and Steve Jones


Purple (7) - Spiro Hida, Charlie Bowers, Simon Kay, Anita Ashcroft John Wickie Whittaker, Julie Simmons and a Triallist

A posse of Referees some kitted out with WFA finery, others in Man at C&A casuals included;

Herr Jeff Betty, Les Lomax and newly installed Mike Mika Andrews - all enjoyed a trouble-free romp with teams intent on enjoying the most of the session’s decent if chilly weather.


And so to the action…


Orange and Pink produced a terrific opening game for Herr Betty, a little fast but the sides quickly adapted with the realisation that the Referees were intent on applying stricter standards for the day’s session No goals but lots to admire

Mika officiated for the first portion of the Seven a Side game between Black and Purple another goal less start to the game

Les Lomax couldn’t separate the Green v Sky with goals by Phil and er Phil (The Power and The Moss) producing a good watch but no clear winner

His second game with Purple playing Black was settled by a solitary Spiro goal 1-0 to Purple

Orange played Sky in the second of Mika’s refereeing odyssey Chris Kelsall rounded off a good passing sequence to fire Orange ahead but Aldo rifled a great shot through a sea of defenders to score a late equaliser

Pink and Green, included a goal kick explanation for Barry Wizz, Ref Jeff in his element But neither side could find a goal Nil - Nil the inevitable result


In Round Three Purple confirmed their narrow ascendancy over all- comers with Spiro claiming his second goal and denied another with a belated apology from Herr Betty (missing a slight touch by Liz) to rule out a goal for too many touches There were a series of great saves from our Triallist too, with great support from his team mates who were charged with lifting his prone figure from the ground on several occasions Mika was very pleased with his final match Pink and Sky well matched throughout with a goal each Phil the Power and Steve Jones on target Pink were jolted to lose a player at kick off through injury Sky sportingly offered to withdraw a player and rotate their playing resources to ensure the sides were equal 1-1 the fitting end to the morning session

Les’s final match was another classic with Orange and Green producing some great football but not without a controversial finish Goals by Dave Amazon Prime and Chris Kelsall steered Orange into a lead that always looked flimsy with Gonzalo a constant threat Inevitably he produced a trade mark early strike to disturb the balance of play But a late goal that followed a aerially challenged corner was volleyed home by Sheila with the Orange defence waiting for a high ball call that never came Great finish but dubious delivery 2-2 the final result The Pips accepted the decision with good grace and continued to Just Walk In My Shoes off for a shower and non-celebratory cake


Handshakes all round


Wednesday night’s Sutton SoccerDome session was an odd affair with numbers still below our seasonal norm No midweek televised footie either except PSG’s annual underwhelming display in the Big Cup semifinal Must be the weather, holidays, injuries and/or global warming Twenty Six did make the starting line - after registering at the Head Masters temporary office accommodation (handily placed in the Reception area to hoover up anyone who really wanted Couch to 5K or to train for a local junior team

After a vigorous shake up by Andy Man(anger) Bibs were awarded to those assembled in 5hr following manner;


Red - Barry Wizz, Gonzalo, Midweek Michelle, Kidda, Keith and Chris 10P (who quickly decided to Referee)


Yellow - Phil the Power, Les Meldrew, Deano, Little John and Enoch


White - Andy Man(anger), The Ox, Willo, Grav, Tom Stretch and Subeteo Dave


Blue - Jason, Haggis, Simon K, Chris 4G, Nigel and Richard

Referee Jeff Betty took care of the Six a Side fixture with Blue and White finely poised, two teams passing and moving trying to create chances The first period was dominated by White who took the lead when some slick passing set up Subeteo’s Dave Martland who fired home He was to repeat the feat with a second, latching on to the end of some smart passing to tuck the ball in a corner Blue hadn’t played badly but were less of a threat until Haggis carved open the White rearguard for Richard Evans to steer home 2-1 The light was gloomy with the lights required, but rain a realistic threat at 6pm relented for the duration of the full session Nigel intercepted a poor clearance to crash home an equaliser that on balance was a surprise Half time all square White disappointed to give up a lead that their general play merited

The second half was a more one sided affair with White punishing the wasteful Blue finishing with their more measured clinical finishing Subeteo Dave completed a hat trick, though he might easily have doubled that haul if he’d taken all the chances presented Tom Stretch hit 2, Grav and The Ox found the net Blue managed to concede 2 own goals to compound their miserable second half

Red and Yellow produced a much closer contest with Chris 10P in the poacher turned gamekeeper role At half time the score was 4-4 Goals continued to cascade in the second half The final 10 minutes included the substitution of Referee Prout by Gonzalo in a move that gave a respite to both Unfortunately the novice Ref forgot the first rule of refereeing comedy and did not record the goal scorers So we are left to rely on the testimony of Gonzalo (4 goals the last one a crashing volley) and our own eye witness recollections to confirm the final score 8-8

We do know Deano and Michelle were scorers, Les Meldrew had the last word with the late equaliser Apologies to those over-looked we promise to buck ideas up when we return to a more normal session routine Whenever that might be


The Boot Room continued to mourn the absence of Lord Rainford and Cockney Rebel Their media duties have been taken over by Taylor D who at present is unfit to play His outspoken opinions have proved to be insightful although hardly anyone can understand a word he says

No Monday morning session this coming week as we endure another disappointing Bank Holiday weather fest See you at Sutton on Wednesday for a midweek cake free thrash


All Things Must Pass* - George Harrison




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