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The War Inside*

Updated: Dec 3, 2021

For any nervous readers let me reassure you that warfare did not break out at any time during Wednesday’s Sutton SoccerDome session Instead the Blog title reference is a tribute to the warfare going on inside the head of Huyton’s finest who put in another mesmerising Wednesday performance He showcased his full range of temperaments with baffling application to his game alongside his theatrical antics At one stage he mounted a one man pitch invasion to remonstrate with Referee Jeff Betty Minutes later he was sprawling on the floor having anticipated the trip that never happened, crumpling in a heap behind his opponent whilst Ref Jeff laughed and persuaded him gently to get up and stop being silly! Perhaps it was the Scouse Derby occasion and his nerves on a knife edge? One thing that is certain with Disco Deggs We will never know!

The injury toll continues to decimate numbers with more and more unavailable for action Fourteen made the final cut after Gaz had carved up hamstrings, hips and groins in his elaborate warm up routine (it was anything but routine)

Coach Davies employed Moneyball to divide the participants into the following teams;


Reds - Vicar of Dibley, Tom Stretch, Gonzalo and Tony

Blues - Mike Waine (Bruce) Chopper, Disco Deggs, Gaz and Grav

Sky - El Presidente, Steve Honeyma, Citeh Geoff, Lord Rainford and Phil


The opening match was a fairly even affair with Sky on top but misfiring in front of goal Eventually El Presidente did find the net after a couple of efforts to fire the Sky into the ascension Steve secured the win with a smart finish after some sweet passing 2 - nil to Sky who would face the much fancied Reds in game 2

Reds appeared to have the edge throughout with greater energy and enthusiasm than Sky but it took a divine effort from the Vicar of Dibley to wrest the result Steve the Honeyman produced a string of fine saves to keep Reds at bay but was powerless to prevent the Vicar’s decisive strike


Reds and Blues was a more emphatic result A brace of goals from Tom enough to secure the win The first goal was a particularly good effort beating Gaz at his near post with a shot that stretched the keeper’s abductors whether he wanted that exercise or not The second goal was a good finish from a defence splitting pass from a corner Clinically put away at the far post Reds 2-nil winners and looking ready to sweep the board for evening’s endeavours


Sky raised their game for the deciding game thwarting Reds attacking threat with a good defensive showing and some fine ‘keeping to shut out Gonzalo, Tony and Dibley Steve Honeyman swept the ball in under pressure from Tom for the game’s solitary goal Sky might have sealed a more emphatic win from the penalty spot but ball hit the post with keeper well beaten At this point Disco Deggs mounted his one man pitch invasion to complain about the number of steps taken prior to the kick As he was a neutral and neither team had complained to Ref Betty, the actions were viewed as comedic gold

Sky 1 Reds nil the final result after things calmed down


And so to the final game and Blues seeking a goal to show for their evening’s work Reds still smarting from the previous reverse were rampant at times Chopper was forced to make a number of fine blocks and saves to withstand the onslaught It took a great team move for Dibley to score the night’s final and decisive goal

In the dying moments we had the mysterious tumble of Disco Deggs, who went down like a puppet with its strings cut behind his mystified opponent

On a normal night a Blue Card might have been produced if

a. Jeff had one or

b. Jeff could stop laughing long enough to administer the punishment


The game petered out after this incident with spectators still holding their aching sides

So another fine evenings fun and games So good that we all agreed to do it yet again next week Monday and Wednesday


The War Inside* Tom Morello and Chris Stapleton