Running Up That Hill*

A Green Room Special

Provided with great personal sacrifice by O'Hooligan's cousin Paddy Fields

Picture if you can the lonely runner striding up the north face of er North Road Imagining the Rocky theme blasting out His singlelet drenched in what can only be described as ....sweat Greying hair plastered to his scalp ....Beads of perspiration stinging his eyes

This is the loneliness of the distance runner, training in his plucky way with the goal of not falling over ever-present in his mind

The aim is to compete in the Steve Prescott 10k next weekend Such is his dedication that he has turned away from his first love Walking Football and his friends and team mates to share the company of other lost souls on this training regime

Last night he missed the chance to add hurt and humiliation to his resume Not content with a Nike blowout, ankle knack or knee gah he bravely turned his nose up at an outdoor jamboree of 8 v 9 on the Sutton SoccerDome last night Judging by the game some of his chums didn't fancy it much either

His hard work nears an end with thoughts of the promised throngs of excited supporters lining the streets of St Helens to witness race day O'Hooligan has promised to be back on Monday as there'll possibly be cake on offer at the Slipper Salon His normal ramblings are sure to follow, as we all know he's a man of few words For now spare a thought for Ireland's Own standing Shoulder to Shoulder etc etc

Paddy Fields piece is reproduced with kind permission of Downing Street Press Office (nutters department)

Seamus O'Hooligan is a National Treasure

Running Up That Hill* - Kate Bush