Noel Coward on a Monday morning?

The inspiration for today's blog rests firmly at the feet of our Deputy Chairman Lord John Rainford Hawkins who suggested (even supplied a sublime clip of the words) of the evergreen ditty 'Mad Dogs and Englishmen' If ever there was a more apt printable suggestion I have yet to hear it

14 Mad Dogs, one Coach plus an Irish & Ukrainian turned up to see if there was any sense or sensibility (close 2nd of today's theme suggestions) Coach Davies returned to see how his charges had fared in the post Cup frenzy, Michaylo and the Chairman looked on as the warm ups (are you serious?) were performed Coach fired up Moneyball to help select the teams whilst the Chairman polished his whistle for his stint as the day's scapegoat

The Teams were;

Reds - Phil, Chopper, Grazer, Tom, Jeff, Martin Cockney and Alex

Blues;- Geoff, Wayne, Les, Andy, Lord Rainford, Tony and Speedo Mick

As kick off approached Coach Davies employed one of his more unusual wheezes giving instruction that a team goal would be awarded for every team who could claim 5 consecutive touches This was so cunning that the Chairman totally misunderstood the plot and instead believed that goals would only count if the team scoring had made 5 consecutive touches in the build up

Now that idea isn't as far fetched as it might seem but no matter it was not what had been explained

Early play led to some decent if ponderous passing, then as Blues lost possession Phil seized a loose ball to fire an effort on goal The ball cannoned off a defender and away for a corner As the Chairman explained that he wouldn't have awarded a goal as that had effectively been the 1st Red touch in that particular passage of play world war three broke out No doubt the intention was good though our Irish temper was at loss to understand As the 1st part of the session ended scoreless 0-0 (or 15 -6 if you prefer) a hastily convened summit led to the suspension of the wheeze for the rest of the game

Distractions aside the morning's first goal came after Andy forced a deflected affort past Grazer, Phil the unfortunate recipient of a power drive by Dynamo Houghton 1-0 to the Blues Searching for an equaliser the Reds lay seige to the Blues defence pressing most effectively to stifle a way out Eventually that pressure found its reward with Tom surging into shooting range to bring the sides level Suddenly the complexion of the game swung with Tom repeating his party trick moments later 2-1 from 1 down in the space of minutes

Blues swept back on level terms with Speedo Mick reacting first to a blocked clearance 2-2 But there was much more to come A goal made and finished in the Citeh gave a 3-2 advantage to Blues, Geoff wrong footing Wayne from the edge of their own area A bizarre goal on a day when all players wilted in the 30 degree heat. Mad Dogs indeed At 3-3 the game seemed to heading for a draw but at the death with Lord Rainford now foraging up front the Blues stole the victory when Me Lord held the ball to tee up Andy who finished in some style

4-3 at the death (on the Nile too hot) Blues winning an epic contest that possibly on balance they jus about deserved

Re-hydration was the order of the day Well done all

In tropical climes there are certain times of day, when all the citizens retire....

Speaks volumes thank you Noel Coward