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Dream Sequence*

Modern life bears only a passing reflection of what life was back in the day Whatever particular day that might be remains to be determined

So how do we plot a path back to those halcyon times? We rely on written records for the greatest part of that history The 20th century witnessed a staggering acceleration of ways in which those memories could be chronicled The development (Red light over the darkroom door anyone?) of photography is a great illustration of the pace of change

The 50s started for many of us with the box Brownie, but ended with cameras capable of producing slides for viewing individually or on a fancy carousel machine (everyone's annoying uncle had one) In the 60s & 70s the rate of change continued to accelerate Most of us will have wobbled developing Polaroid pictures waiting for the process to finish Serious photographers would invest in SLR cameras whilst the 'point and click' revolution of compact cameras gave decent photography into the hands of the masses The Olympus Trip generation was born

Where is this leading I hear you ask?

The mobile phone is of course the answer Now everyone can fire off reasonable shots of objects, loved ones, their pets and of course ......Walking Football teams

SHWFC's latest outing at Ruskin Sports Village was marked in the usual way with a set of grizzly team shots of various assemblies in a state of unpreparedness for the session ahead These photos help the scribes of Blogsworth with their basic material (the names of those who've lined up to start - well in theory at least) The process falls down when the photographer hurriedly points his phone and fires off a salvo of pictures before some of the flock are ready or are still in the throws of eventual team selection In other words we don't always get the team make up correct because the photos have been taken too early

Monday went a step too far with one team Sky not even reaching their designated bibs in time to be recorded for posterity

For the purposes of good order and fairness the constituents of the Sky team were;

Liz, Haggis, Margaret, Amazon Prime, Simon and Phil - the Moss or the Cat or even the Power is unclear

The remaining teams were possibly;

Purple - Tom Stretch, Sheila, Little John, Les H and Michelle Monday

Orange - Snakehips, Roger, Andy Man, Kenny and Spiro

Pink - Paul F, Aldo, Eileen, Wickie and Mika

Yellow - Les Meldrew, Jim, Anita, Donal, McSpeed and Tom Derby

Black - Grazer, Steve Jones, Margaret, Phil Moss and Grav

After examination of the photos plus a written confirmation of the Sky team we confess we are even more confused about the final line ups but though the camera doesn't lie does that really matter too much? "From my position in the dug out I couldn't see Patrick Vierra stab the United player 23 times" to slightly paraphrase M. A Wenger

My defence was "from my position up a ladder 70 miles away I couldn't clearly see the far side of the pitch at Ruskin" El Presidente Said So we are going to have to accept that the Blog might bare only a passing resemblance to the truth (or business as usual as we say) Awaking from a dream sequence to witness miscellaneous players emerge from the steamy showers explains it all Those of a nervous disposition might need to look away

Jeff Betty reports that his game featuring Pink and Purple was a close affair with Pink winning by the close margin of 2 goals to 1 Aldo and Wickie on target for Pink Michelle replying for the Purple

Meanwhile Les Lomax issued the first naughty step Blue Card of the week with Greek international Spiro left to cool his heels following a spell of persistent non running Spiro had scored prior to the patience snap with Kenny also on the mark Orange home 2-1 with Black scoring thanks to a Steve Jones strike

Jill Tomo agreed to referee the Sky and Yellow encounter with goals galore Sky claimed the narrowest of victories by 4 goals to 3 Haggis, Liz and Simon 2 shading replies from McSpeed, Les Meldrew and Tom Derby The game was tied 2 each at half time before Sky hit two quick fire goals, try as they might Yellow could only hit one goal and time elapsed before they could find a leveller

In Game 2 Black were again on the wrong end of a 2-1 defeat Tom Stretch and a deflected Michelle strike enough to ensure Purple were victorious Steve Jones claimed his second consolation

Herr Betty witnessed a terrific battle with Pink pipping Orange by 3 goals to 2 meanwhile Goals by Roger (collectors item), Aldo and Wickie were enough to grab the win despite goals by the Greek bad boy and Kenny in reply for the zesty Orange

Game 3 featured Pink v Black with Paul F and Aldo finding the goals to claim a narrow win over Black Phil the Moss probably scored for Black in reply but who truly knows?

The last match was decided by a solitary Kenny goal for Orange with Purple left licking their wounds and scoreless

There was just time for a bewildering apology from Andy Enoch Powell for losing his rag with life, the Ref and even his team mates The bewildering part is that he doesn’t feature in any of the photographs nor was he mentioned as playing for the Sky ghost team So let's just accept this was a dream sequence and didn't really happen Or did it?

Mark Daverin became our latest Walking Football export braving the heat of Turkey for a kick around and some well deserved Effes beer His team of choice Didim WFC has an impressive number of members as can be seen below

Turkey joins the International outposts that have engaged SHWFC members Paul ‘Roger’ Moore and ‘Wor’ Eileen played in New Zealand with WF Nelson FC Steve ‘Clint’ Eastwood plays these days with Torrox Tornadoes on Costa Del Sol (next door to Nerja United WFC - El Presidente’s sometime distraction) Jeff Betty ply’s his playing trade with Moreira WFC - whilst many of us took the long haul to play at Llandudno in 2022 Remember folks those Euros always come in handy

SHWFC Sutton today, tomorrow who can tell?

This week’s midweek Sutton SoccerDome session took a really disappointing plot twist with one game descending into the depths of poor behaviour The planned Tournoi 2024 was cancelled due to the difficulties of fielding adequate players for the night’s opening fixtures That and the fixture clash with televised games meant that 26 players assembled to prepare for a Six a Side match and Seven a Side game on the adjacent pitch

The teams were;

White (6) - Jim, The Ox, Tom Stretch, Simon K, Subeteo Dave and Martin Mc

Yellow (6) - Andy Man, Keith, Neil Stretch, Eileen, Roger and Citeh Geoff

Red (7) - Enoch, Deggs, Michelle Midweek, Steve C, Gaz, Wickie and Daz

Blue (7) - Deano, Kenny, Joe the Ghost, Jason, Les H and Chris 10P (plus Thomas Wilson who joined in his taster session as a guest)

Referees for the evening were WFA Tournament qualified Jeff Betty Birchall and Arch Villain & occasional house painter* El Presidente (*read or watch The Irishman for further explanation - a really good film by the way)

Under clear skies El Presidente got the White v Yellow game underway A couple of timely reminders to ‘slow down’ seemed to work as both teams settled into an excellent end to end demonstration of enthusiastic but never over exuberant Walking Football

The first half included some great vision and passing With the ball constantly on the move A pleasure to watch and referee Lots of action but some great cover and defending by both teams The only goal of the half was claimed by Keith for Yellow 1-0 At this point the Referees switched to spread the ‘love’ with equal measure

The first half of the Seven a Side game was marked with some unsavoury incidents and flare ups At the centre of, Jeff Betty battled to stay in control of the unnecessary running and physicality There were occasional flashes of great play too as Red took a 2-1 advantage into the interval thanks to goals by Deggs and Steve C with Deano keeping Blue in contention After the break with El Presidente reminding all of the essence of our sessions One Red who really ought to know better was treading a tightrope that he struggled to manage The feverish state of play led to too many ridiculously frivolous appeals and screams With 10 minutes left El Presidente issued an ultimatum, the miscreant could go in goal or leave the pitch after a catalogue of fouls Amazingly the score which now seemed almost irrelevant remained 2-1 to Red

As a form of sanity returned to the match it was Red who scored twice more through Deggs and Wickie to lead 4-1 and look unassailable Chris 10P did fire a spectacular volley to make it 4-2 but Red held out to seal the victory The dream sequence or nightmare?

Meanwhile in the Six a Side contest White claimed a narrow win with second half goals by Tom Stretch (a pre-Birthday present) and Simon to win 2-1 The game was described by both Referees as a pleasure to officiate and played with exemplary respect for other players and Referees alike If only all games were so

Executive action will undoubtedly follow We’ve come too far to allow rogue elements to destroy our Club ethos The individual at the centre of the disruption can expect short sharp action A reminder that the Club will not sacrifice the safety of all is members to accommodate one or two wild ones

Dream Sequence* - Pauline Murray

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