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Writer's picturePeter Fitzpatrick

You can’t lose what you’ve never had*

“Phew! Remarked our Secretary Lord Rainford to El Presidente in the Boot Room recovery warm down late on Wednesday Perhaps things might calm down a little now” “Well at least to frantic” came the reply The first month in office has been testing for M’Lord‘s legendary diplomatic skills but he’s come through in fine style Filling the void left by Michaylo was never going to be straightforward but he’s made of stern stuff


Wednesday’s games followed an Executive Meeting to review the results of last week’s Ballot to determine our Spring/Summer midweek scheduling

In an effort to draw a line under any lingering doubts or confusion the Ballot requested preferences (rather than Ye Olde English First Past the Post result) to deliver a verdict that suited the majority The news of the vote to switch from late March to Thursdays was delivered before play got underway with the pledge that we would look to revert to indoor and outdoor games on Wednesdays from Autumn/Winter


Reminders of the switch to Thursday will be published prior to the date



And so to the action, Coach Davies remains in isolation until the weekend after a positive test last weekend We wish him a speedy return to full health

The indoor match featured 10 players who opted for the soft shoe shuffle ably refereed by Jeff Betty, who is currently on the injured list

The teams were selected without the aid of Moneyball but still managed to serve up a feast of end to end football punctuated by a dozen goals and umpteen misses

Orange - Disco Deggs, Joe the Ghost, Grav, Ian B and Lord Rainford

against the Blues - Speedo, Les, Alain, Citeh Geoff and Phil (the power)


As already hinted at, there was a goal feast with the lead switching from one team to the other Especially note worthy was the surprise coupling of Disco Deggs and Joe the Ghost who linked well together with bags of encouragement and trust on display This turn of events was not in any script ever read by this reporter Usually the duo are more likely to be at each other throats but that consummate diplomat M’Lord was on hand to ease the way Blues early work in contrast relied on the Phil the Power and his pile driving shooting prowess A succession of Orange keepers tried to get out of his way with varying success - Ian B and Lord Rainford were fortuitous or evasive to stem the goal threat

The Blues link up play with Alain, Les and Grav to the fore was another feature of the night As time elapsed Orange took a 6-5 lead courtesy of a Disco special, Blues appeals for his stumble under great pressure were waved away by Herr Betty He ruled that the Disco area invasion was the result of momentum rather than deliberate action

A protracted period of Appeasement to the Blues for this grievous decision allowed Speedo Mick the time to slot home an equaliser that infuriated the opposition Ah well that’s democracy for you!

Meanwhile the outdoor action was underway with two evenly matched teams producing another fine evening’s entertainment The Clog Dance followed the warm up delivered with breath raking rapidity by Chris Gonzalo

The combatants were;

Sky - Chopper, El Presidente, Rev Ian H, Macca, Goldie and guest keeper Gonzalo

Red - Gaz, Cockney Rebel, Grazer, Tom, Andy H and Gary


Sky played some attractive early football with good communication giving them a slight edge that was rewarded by Rev Ian H with a smart finish after some effective passing and link up play Returning Scottish International Alan Macca McAvoy showed some good touches until he picked up an injury late in the first half Tom and Gary linked well for the Blues but their goal efforts were mopped up by Chopper and El Presidente for Sky

Walking Football’s only active Vicar soon doubled his side‘s advantage in another flowing move that seemed to involve the whole team before he fired home Bless You he didn’t say but we felt the Love

Gary did grab Red’s opener but The Lord was shining through the Righteous Sky as The Rev claimed his first hat trick soon after

At the break Sky reshuffled to accommodate Mecca’s worsening injury and Reds early second half play with Tom growing in influence threatened an improbable come back Tom hit a brace for Reds but not before The Rev claimed the match ball and the Communion collection on his way out 4-3 to Sky with a holy satisfying air falling over the AstroTurf badlands

The game ended with the St Trinians Hockey Gals arrival to distract those of a delicate disposition Another night another goal feast and with The Lord shining down on us all


You can’t lose what you’ve never had* The Allman Brothers Band



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