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Var Far Away*

Sometimes when you really wish for something dreams can come true Sometimes those dreams don’t work out quite as hoped for Monday morning’s Ruskin Session followed the recent pattern of poor weather easing to allow SHWFC members to enjoy their Walking Football in benign conditions Recently we’ve found it tricky to always play games under the guidance of a Referee But on Monday morning we were blessed with the appearance of the VAR (very auld refs) Committee A photo to acknowledge their arrival is below When the dust settled and warm ups were completed, Moneyball was pressed into action to decide the following selection;

Green - Anita, Daz Samo, Steve Goldie, Donal, Robin and Eileen

Purple - Thatto Dave, Paul Moore, Margaret, Eamon, Clarkie and Phil the Power

Pink - Enoch, Steve Honeyman, Tom Stretch, Sheila, Les Meldrew and Tony Kenny

Black - Citeh Geoff, John Pidgeon, Jane, Andy Man(Agee) Tom Derby and Mika Andrews In the first series of matches Green was shredded by the Purple People Eaters Eamon grabbing a notable hat trick in the 3-0 victory Purple were the morning’s leading goal scorers Meanwhile Black succumbed to a solitary strike by Tom Stretch The pass from Sheila that set up the goal was described as ‘exceptional’ and who could disagree? Black had welcomed Jane back to their ranks following a broken wrist The solid looking Black line up suffered from a lack of a genuine goal threat all morning 1-0 to Pink In round two Black and Green cancelled each other out Andy Man managed to fire in Blacks only goal of the session, whilst Robin grabbed Green’s reply with his first goal in SHWFC colours 1-1 the outcome in a game that was more entertaining than the score might suggest Purple’s purple patch in front of goal continued with another 3-0 win in their match with Pink Eamon scoring one and a very good brace from Phil

The final analysis pitched the unbeaten (and unbeatable?) Purple against the Black Somewhat predictably Purple recorded their third victory of the session by two unanswered goals So quick was the display that our Cub Reporter was unable to provide the scorers Anyone who knows will doubtless claim them on our WhatsApp Social Group

We do have an eye witness account of the last game however though as ever we rely on the integrity of the reporter’s guide dog Pink to the surprise of on lookers took a deserved 1-0 lead thanks to Andy Man(anger) The score might have been doubled but for a wasteful penalty kick awarded by Referee Jeff Betty, a fete that brought a remark from Daz that spoke well of Herr Betty’s ability to see everything “He’s like a stethoscope on a nuclear submarine” After this blatant attempt at gamesmanship Andy stopped laughing long enough to miss the net when he recovered sufficiently Green empowered by the banter hit back from 1-0 down to score three unanswered goals Steve Goldie hit a brace to silence the critics with Daz completing the scoring 3-1 the final outcome

Lots of positives to take from the morning’s work The VAR Committee declared “You’ve all done well! Just 2 more Monday morning meets this year The Council has decided that the week before Christmas doesn’t exist and so no council facilities will be open to accommodate ancient footballers

A word to congratulate Martin Cockney Rebel Briggs on his elevation to our Over 65s Squad for next year Martin Chopper Williams has commenced his rehab following knee surgery last week Kirsty Stockton has a further operation this week and we wish her well Someone with her attitude will of course meet the trials and tribulations head on and kick their butt Same again next Monday? Hell YES Var Far Away* - Slade

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