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That’s Running Alright* & Monday*

Updated: Apr 2, 2023

Testing conditions greeted 18 hearty outdoor warriors at Sutton last Wednesday for the latest session involving valuable Referee training from our friendly International WFA Mentor Steve Pitt

The Indoor matches featured a re-run of the now infamous Brack goal which as we all know he doesn’t like to talk about Deggs made a quiet contribution to proceedings after his recent health concern I really can’t believe I’ve just written that last remark but I’m assured he played with calm and poise Elsewhere Gaz demonstrated his youthful zest for life by adding Rabbit ears to the team photo We can at least forgive his exuberance as it was his Birthday In timely fashion no record of the matches survived to bother the ghost writer

So instead we will focus briefly on the 2 games played under floodlights and a blustery wind on the AstroTurf wastes

A 4 a side game was subjected to the forensic examination of Herr Pitt, Tony Kenny and on occasion Lord Rainford Meanwhile on an adjacent world Chopper Williams took charge of a 5 a side encounter with the following line ups;

Green - Little John, Chris 4 G, Joe the Ghost, Haggis and Eamon

Orange - Deano, Goldie, Martin Mc, Thatto Dave and Michelle

With Green unprepared for the hard yards required, Orange roared in to a quick lead that they held for the rest of the night A Thatto Dave penalty was soon doubled by Deano’s power Goldie slowed enough to provide a third As half time approached El Presidente decided that change was required to preserve some dignity A sensational swap deal that saw Joe ghost off to the Orange grove with Deano heading to Greener pastures

The change soon turned the game on its head Haggis fired home 2 swift replies prompted by Deano 2-6 and at last some relief for the beleaguered Green defenders

Orange struggled to understand Joe’s ghostly calls and positional play With one ball dispatched to pitch three He declared “You’re just taking the pass now!” At least that what we think he might have said Joe of course does always have a goal potential and did add to his record with usual toe-end aplomb In another world Joe shouted to Norman for a pass, the problem being that Norman wasn’t actually there or indeed playing

Martin Mc claimed dubious goal of the night His run not spotted by Mr Chopper and with it the game was sealed No way back now for Orange, peeled wide open for the umpteenth time on a night when Green ran (well two of them at the very least) away with the game

The 4 a side contest was a very competitive game, split in three periods of Refereeing but only 2 halves! The line up was

Blue - Harry the Hatchet Williams, Carl Corcoran on impressive debut, Darron Walley and Lord Rainford (or Chopper)

Yellow - Tom Stretch, Dave Chuckle, Tom Derby and Neil Stretch (no relation)

Steve Pitt was keen to allow each ‘trainee Ref’ a period under his tutelage hence third of overall period El Presidente was keener to have the affect of the gusty wind neutralised by enforcing a half time turn around No egos were bruised or broken in this display of harmonious harmony

Yellow showed slightly more organisation, unsurprising as Blue had a debutant in their line up But they battled to stay in contention throughout the evening and only lost the game by the narrowest of margins

There were goals by Tom Stretch and Tom Derby, Neil stretched every centimetre of his frame when called into keeping action Tom stretched the rules at times though he was also the first to sportingly apologise

Dave Chuckle put in a good shift as he’s getting more attuned to this walking malarkey

Carl worked like a Trojan to get to grips with the game One effort almost shattered a post and on other nights he might work less but for more reward He was well suited to a role alongside Darron who continues to influence his team mates with timely interventions and incisive passing Lord Rainford failed to replicate his career-defining pass (often spoken of in the same breath as the Brack goal) but he was his usual solid self though he was vocal about some of his wayward shots Harry the Hatchet had a big impact as his emergency keeping skills came into play His outfield effort contributed to keep Yellow in the contest

After an hour of fun, football and no falling over the final whistle was welcomed by all It was hard work with small sides, slightly bigger pitches but loads of good work by all Our thanks to Steve Pitt who once again gave up his time to pass on some insight to our grateful Club

That’s Running Alright* - Joe Fagin-ish Theme from Aug Weidersein Pet when it’s sung under its better known title That’s Living Alright

Monday morning at Ruskin continued a trend that has served SHWFC well over the years In the period before and after our session the weather was frankly shocking But with God on our side and a handy layer or two available if required Members could indulge in their week commencing rituals safe from the worse the elements could throw their way

A marvelous ensemble was present to join the fun

After a mercifully brief stretch & tune up the following sides were assembled

Green - Donal, Jane, Charlie, Michelle Berry, Liz and Les

Pink - Sheila, Phil the Power, Chris K, Goldie, Paul and Wickie

Orange - Kenny, Gonzalo, Lord Rainford, Phil Moss, Tony Snakehips and Grazer Clark

Sky - Barry, Eamon, Tom Stretch, Andy Man(anger), Mika, Robin and Anita

Purple - Triallist, Mark NR, Steve Honeyman, Chris Willo, Harry the Hatchet and Ron Welch (on debut)

Black - Grav, Julie, Amazon Prime, Chopper, Little John and Enoch'

Rather than offer full blow by blow accounts of daring do instead we will provide an over view of the morning’s progress

In Round One Purple played a superb version of absorbing pressure and hitting their Green opponents on the break, with a 2-0 win thanks to goals by Steve Honeyman and Mark NR Ron Welch found the pace and rules understandably tricky to fathom but prevailed and contributed to a good all round team display Elsewhere Gonzalo claimed the only goal as Orange squashed Sky 1-0 and there was a similar score line with Andy Managing a goal in Black 1-0 win over Pink

Round Two and Pink and Orange largely cancelled each other out in a scrappy 0-0 game No such problem in the other matches with Black victorious by 2 goals to nil over Purple Andy Managing another goal and Little John also on target Goals by Eamon and Tom Stretch helped Sky overcome the Green resistance also by 2 goals to nil

Round Three and goals a scarcity with Pink and Sky goal less Tony Snakehips 3 games into the session innocently enquired about a free kick for too many touches (just a week after the announcement that 3 touch would abandoned until after Le Tournoi was concluded) Purple showed steely determination to see off Orange Steve Honeyman claimed the only goal as goal crazed Orange left a gaping hole at the back for the hitman to exploit 1-0 A result replicated by Green with Donal claiming the solitary goal in their match with Black

By Round Four it was clear that team selection for the day had gone pretty well The majority of games were close with goals hard to come by

Sky and Black failed to trouble the score board in their close encounter A solitary strike by Donal settled the Green & Orange slugfest 1-0 the score in favour of Green Both defences were on top in the remaining fixture with Purple’s superior game management (sometimes known as time wasting testing El Presidente’s patience) Steve Honeyman linked with strike partner Mark No Running Davies (or is it No Relation?) to claim the win Pink played well and dominated possession and field position but lacked a goal threat, shot shy in front of goal = no goals

The Final Round of games and as is the way of fate and the commentator’s curse Sky found their range and Andy Managed to score after a rebound from stand in keeper El Presidente Purple had borrowed the Ref/Blogger/part time Dictator by pointing out the extra player advantage that Sky had The game might have gone to Purple but for some cynical defending by Speedy Mika and a marvelous save by Anita But 1-0 Sky the decisive breakthrough 2 minutes from ‘no side’ as Bill McClaren might have said

Jane set up the winning goal for Green in a close game against Pink, Donal grateful for his colleagues incisive pass to seal a 1-0 win Elsewhere Black squeezed a 1-0 win over Orange with Phil the goal scorer

After 5 rounds and some wonderful football the day’s honours were claimed by Black

Black 3 wins 1 draw 1 defeat. 10 points

Green 3 wins 2 defeats. 9

Sky. 2 wins 2 draws 1 defeat. 8

Purple 3 wins and 2 defeats. 6

Orange 1 win 1 draw 3 defeats. 4

Pink 2 draws 3 defeats. 2

Thoughts now turn to Monday’s upcoming first match in Le Tournoi

Whilst these fixtures are taking place there will be a regular session for those not involved

Monday* - The Jam (much respected beat combo from the 70s)

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