Tell me when its over*

We've all been there so wrapped up in your own game you've little idea just how long you've been playing, or old school until someone scores that winning goal

In truth when you're finely tuned athlete such as we have at SHFC then your focus is so attuned time just flashes by So Wednesday night's Sutton Session was fabulous and frantic for those playing, maybe less so for Referee Jeff Betty and the capacity crowd watching

Twenty players meant the Group was split in two with the indoor SoccerDome employed alongside the AstroTurf pampas wasteland The indoor group so impoverished that they used only one set of bibs lined up as follows;

Yellow - Coach Davies, The Vicar of Dibley, Tom Derby, Les Meldrew and Grav'

Skins - Ian Lefty, Lee, Speedo Mick, Joe the Ghost and Lord Rainford

This was either a flagrant disregard for the club's burgeoning bib wardrobe or a saving on washing powder, depending on what position you take.

The problem was that as it became clear during the evening that Tom Derby was struggling with an injury that he possibly rushed back to action too early In addition, Coach Davies's knees were declaring UDI from other parts of his body. This injury list probably made the match less even than it might otherwise have been.

In the first period the skins raced into a 4-1 lead before a Yellow fightback in round two, when at last Dibley and Grav were at last able to stretch their opponents. However Les was less effective than in previous weeks as opponents finally became more aware of his sneaky goal-hanging The past master of that particular dark art Joe the Ghost was a constant threat for the Skins

It was only in the final period, after Yellows had fought back to 7-5 that the game finally shifted away from them. Speedo Mick took his goal tally for the night up to 5 and despite Dibley's power shooting almost decapitating His Lordship at one point the Skins ran out 11-6 winners. Your ace reporter was too busy playing to log all goal scorers In the cold light of day 17 goals in about 50 minutes action or a goal every 3 minutes or so That's rare value for money by anyone's reckoning Either that or the fix was in

Meanwhile - Outside in the cold distance a wild cat did growl**

The hardy boys split in 2 groups of 5 for their exterior action

Orange - El Presidente, Oxo, Gaz, Phil and the Package

Blue - Tom Stretch, Goldie, Chopper, Disco Deggs and guest Roy Evans (of whom more later)

This was a terrific contest from beginning to end Orange took an early grip on proceedings whilst Tom Stretch occupied the keeper duties for his Blue buddies Orange passing was a little more precise and there was a constant threat of goals from Phil, Oxo and the Package (who enjoyed this game much more than his last outing on Monday) Blues relied on Disco Deggs in his advance position and solid work to supply balls for him to chase (Herr Betty found his whistle on several occasions to stop the Huyton sprint merchant)

Gaz produced one fine save to deny Blues but was well beaten by Disco to hand Blues the first score Package ended his drought with a good finish to level up the scores

In the second period a harsh penalty awarded when Oxo left his area to save a wild shot from drifting onto Elton Head Road Betty gifting Disco Deggs the penalty and chance to put his team ahead Uncharacteristically the ball was dispatched into the corner (mostly as Deggs hadn't even looked at the ball before making contact) 2-1 to Blue and Betty crossed off an number of Christmas card lists as a consequence

There were goals by Phil and Oxo before the Package swooped to restore the Orange advantage 4-2 with time flying by But Blues found a way to level with Goldie and Tom Stretch drawing Blues level with St Trinians Hockey Gals menacingly warming up in the background

When Herr Betty finally called a halt to proceedings most players still felt there was still time to find the winner How wrong can you be? 4 -4 and fine football on show for all to delight in

Roy Evans enjoyed guest appearance for Blues his first look at the game in preparation for a stint later this month when he joins our Monday sessions as a part of the Torus Wellbeing Team As an experienced personal trainer we hope to have Roy advise on our warm up and warm down processes In addition Roy is a qualified nutritionist Its a rare opportunity for the Club to have access to specialist advice He thoroughly enjoyed his first ever walking football excursion too

Tell me when its over* - Cheryl Crow and Chris Stapleton

Outside in the cold distance a wild cat did growl - All along the watch tower** Bob Dylan (Jimi Hendrix hit)

Breaking News - Tony 'Snakehips' Byrne threatens to ration cake after Monday Ruskin game as his team mates are all too slow

Best wishes to new knee recipient Chris 'Gonzalo' and great news that Grazer Clark will not require surgery