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St.Riders on the Storm*

Updated: Feb 22, 2022

It will separate the wheat from the chaff they used to say! What wheat that might be left standing they didn’t add whilst overlooking the fact that wheat will be nowhere in sight in February But let’s not split hairs

One week Three Storms Lots of rain Even more wind than the morning after a night on Old Grunters IPA Yes it’s been a testing week in the life of SHWFC members

But despite the temptation to roll over and deny there’s a world outdoors 16 mighty members turned up to change their dreams into reality Ruskin Drive, AstroTurf on Monday morning we salute you The weather obliged by discontinuing the rain and abating the wind from 55 mph to a very manageable 30 mph Luxury we all thought as El Presidente put the assembled mass through their warm up drills

There were some weather casualties that clearly didn’t fancy their prospects in the teeth of Storm Franklin but just for the record most hairdressers are in fact closed on Mondays and library books can be returned at almost any time And so to the action….


Phil and Lord Rainford were presented with representative honours prior to kick off, warm applause (hands clapped to stay warm) greeted their appointments as honorary captains for the session


The teams then selected were;

Yellow - Lord Rainford, Citeh Geoff, Anita, Goldie, Les Meldrew, Tony, Tom Stretch and Dave McCarthy (2nd appearance in way too long)

Purple - Phil, El Presidente, Andy Capt, Andy Brownie, Dave Seagull, Thatto Dave, Chopper and Cockney Rebel


Official for the day was Herr Betty of Düsseldorf who had a easy morning (providing you weren’t a Purple) In fairness Jeff performed his task with commendable good grace and paid no attention to the usual gibes

Purple took an eternity to settle into a workable formation much too likely to overload in offence or defence in the early exchanges Yellow probed for an opening but we’re wasteful too The first period was scrappy with neither side truly in control

The impetus shifted after Yellow switched their formation and Tom Stretch moved into a higher position in their ranks Yellows found a way to free up Tom in front of goal with devastating effect, the opening goal well worked and well deserved

Purple had created some chances but lacked the cutting edge to trouble their opponents Lord Rainford (for it was he) doubled his side’s advantage as he screwed a ball off the edge of his foot to nestle in the far corner of El Presidente’s net

2-0 to Yellows and cruising


After a further period of scrappy play it was Purple that seem to grasp the urgency and desperation of their situation Some excellent inter passing set up Phil to drive an unstoppable drive into the Yellow net

2-1 and Purple sensing the tide turning at last in their favour

At this stage a series of questionable fifty-fifty decisions went the way of the besieged Yellows There was a chance for parity with a penalty conceded to present Purple with a glorious chance for an equaliser But instead of levelling Yellows were gifted the chance to lift the pressure when Herr Betty reversed the decision and over-ruled the goal Clearly rattled by the apparent injustice Purple lost their metaphoric way and were unable to seriously create another chance

In the final segment Purple suffered the ultimate insult conceding a soft goal to the perma-offside Les who over-lapped his opposing keeper to score the sealing third goal and grant Yellow their victory by 3 goals to 1 “football eh? Bloody hell!”

The post match Slipper Lounge session discussed the usual diagnostics of the game and accepted the thankless task undertaken on our behalf by Herr Betty With a real doubt about the morning’s weather impact it was a great relief for all to have their opportunity to be involved again You’ve got to love the attitude and application of all our members We look forward to Wednesday’s Sutton session and post match Boot Room inquest Others look forward to next Monday morning The fun continues…..


St.Riders on the Storm* - The Doors