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Right Street but the Wrong Direction*

Updated: Jun 10, 2022

Football as the pundits would have us believe is a simple game That is of course if everyone is in broad agreement and working for the same purpose Wednesday night sessions at Sutton would seem a simple affair but add the human element and suddenly what was simple becomes complicated So this midweek presented a golden opportunity for the beautiful game to present a united front of sublime simplicity Or did it?

The ingredients were all there 20 players, one super-referee and mild and dry conditions after an earlier squall Coach put players through their paces and quickly selected 4 x 5-a-side combos to face off for the glory of SHWFC's Capo di Tutti Capi

The teams were;

White - Gonzalo, Chris 4G, TomDerby, Haggis and Joe the Ghost

Pink - Les Meldrew, Disco Deggs, Sharon, Clint Eastwood and Tom Stretch

Yellow - Lord Rainford, Cockney Rebel, Speedo Mick, Gary Griffiths and Tony Snakehips

Blue - Grav, Phil, Citeh Geoff, Paul Porter and Coach

With 2 games per segment and just one referee (albeit a supreme Referee) proceedings had a way of going off key at times However, El Presidente remained in firm control of games with a seasoned eye and gut feeling for fair play and unfair play In truth the generally sporting manner of our members presented few problems Disco Deggs almost claimed the night's opening goal for Pink with an angled drive Joe was a match however and swatted away the effort for a corner Soon after the Huyton Hitman was lain prone on the AstroTurf in a Salah-like tumble Eventually a team of huskies managed to help the dear old soul to his feet and we continued. Gonzalo claimed the honour of the first goal for White with a smart finish then doubling his goal tally with a shot that bamboozled the Pink keeper White in firm control produced further chances with Haggis and Joe unable to add to the tally Les and Tom Stretch calmed matters for Pink with Sharon once more demonstrated her ability with some delightful midfield passes and support movement Gonzalo prevented Clint from getting Pink back in the game but was beaten by Deggs with the big toe used to full effect 2-1 Joe miss-fired when twice through and the game ended 2-1 to White

In the parallel universe of the next pitch there was a long delay before Gary Griffiths scored on his return for the Yellow Lord Rainford and Cockney Rebel had repelled all efforts on the Yellow goal before this intervention Blue had chances but were wasteful in possession Snakehips in need of a recalibration of his passing gyroscope perhaps? Phil and Citeh Geoff tested the resolve of various Yellow keepers but couldn't find a leveller 1-0 the result Yellow earned the hard way

The second segment of play pitted the White against Blues with the Pink and Yellow serving up a fine measure of controversy in the other game

Gonzalo continued to impress in midfield setting up the Ghost who did not have his shooting boots on all night Phil found the net for Blue and then set up Paul Porter to extend the Blue lead 2-0 Harry Haggis found his range with a sweet finish to a neat move before Gonzalo evened the game with his 3rd of the night 2-2 within 2 minutes The game was a even affair with both sides enjoying spells on top but it was Joe the Ghost who found the winner with a calm finish to push Whites over the line 3-2

The other match was another close game with Clint scorching a shot in to the bottom corner for the lead 1-0 then Pink Lord Rainford was close and in the defensive panic that followed Disco Deggs conceded a penalty that Cockney Rebel rifled home 1-1 In a bizarre incident that baffled all watching Tony Snaked his way off the pitch to retrieve a ball from the other match After a good piece of defending Mr. Rebel tickled the ball back to his keeper from 20 yards out only to learn that his keeper (Snakehips) had gone walkabout on ball boy duty Pink accepted this gift with glee El Presidente had no choice to award the 'goal' 2-1and time running down Lord Rainford and Cockney Rebel hit back before Speedo settled the game latching on to a clearance to beat the keeper 4-3 the final score Yellow squeezing home much to Pink's annoyance


The final round of games featured Yellow v White and Pink v Blue

Grav caught the eye for Blue with a well deserved hat trick His goals apart he enjoyed a good all round game timely interceptions as vital to the victory as his performance in the final third Pink relied heavily on Les who is in good form at present Sharon was busy too Tom Stretch suffered from a nasty 'keys in pocket' damage whilst Disco Deggs wasted a golden chance when he fired a penalty straight at Coach 4-1 the final score

White and Yellow played out a much closer game with Tom Derby on target early for White Some last ditch defending prevented Tony and Speedo from clawing Yellow back on terms Whites had no answer to Lord Rainford's effort that found the far corner (that shooting practice paying off) Joe produced the miss of the night from close range whilst M'Lord cleared his lines (and all other lines on the playing area to deny Gonzalo Yellow took the lead with Speedo and then Cockney Rebel finding the net Gonzalo raised White hopes with another smart shot At 3-2 Yellow wasted 2 golden chances with the empty net yawning open but held out to claim the win


So much to admire but also a lot to work on Passing was a real hit or miss affair depending on who was in possession Its a simple game We have the ball we keep the ball rather than trying to pass through opponents or 30 yard efforts The right street but the wrong direction a lesson for all


Right Street but the Wrong Direction* - Rufus featuring Chaka Khan ( bit of funk on yar ass)

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