top of page

Ooh Betty* - I feel a Blog coming on*

A very pleasant Wednesday evening and the lack of any unsuitable Anfield distraction meant numbers for the SHWFC Sutton soiree were back to acceptable levels In the end 22 players made the jump to hyper space and went through their limbering up procedures prompted and urged by Gaz (his voice moving up an octave for each new torture introduced)

Coach Davies consulted his tea leaves and then invoked Moneyball with the Club's fabled algorithm cranked up to the max' to deliver 4 equal-ish teams

The teams selected included our new signing Sharon Hand, plucked from ladies football by our scouts and thrust into the white heat of the Wednesday night session as a first for the Club She joins Anita and Sheila as our Ladies representatives continues to develop

White - Tom Stretch, Joe the Ghost, Grav', Goldie and Les

Orange - El Presidente, Phil the Power, Thatto Dave, Tom Derby (Lancaster/Davenport or other miscellaneous English geographic location) and Tony Snakehips (a late inclusion so cool that he elected to wear denim to mark the occasion)

Blue - Citeh Geoff, Nigel, Disco Deggs, Chopper, Chris G and Jeff Betty (albeit briefly)

Pink - Cockney Rebel, Gaz, Steve Ford, Harrison, Lee and Sharon (an impressive debut all agreed)

So 2 games at a time and a massive challenge for Coach who stood at mid-wicket as Umpire to both games (this was quickly abandoned as a non starter) As play got underway Jeff Betty took a tumble with Blue and Pink in full flow Gaz as a qualified first aid responder helped Jeff regain his feet to learn that his charge had possibly dislocated his shoulder in the process Play was halted with Gaz eventually taking Jeff through to the Sports Centre Reception for initial assessment

As play resumed Blue and Pink were able to put their distraction aside to produce a decent match The solitary goal of the game was claimed by Nigel 1-0 narrow victory for Blue On the other pitch the injury distractions seemed to have a bigger impact with goals by Tom Stretch and the Ghost stealing a win whilst Orange had their minds elsewhere 2-0 to White

As is usual at this point I will rely on the notes provided by Coach and state for the record that I might well gloss over details that aren't covered or that don't suit the Orange purposes (Ian Paisley style, so it is) The Blog should be treated as a version of events rather than the gospel truth, the whole truth or anything like the truth (Editor's Rights firmly established)

In the second round of fixtures Pink and Orange served up a competitive helping of walking football Poor passing and communication not helped by the earlier distraction of Betty's injury Steve Ford found the net with an early goal for Pink but could do little to prevent Thatto Dave scorching a leveller for the Orange 1-1 the outcome Meanwhile in a parallel universe Joe the Ghost netted for White and Citeh Geoff struck back for Blues (though not his favourite shade of blue) 1-1 honours even all round

In Round 3 White and Pink largely cancelled each other out but goals by Grav and Goldie saw White claim a narrow victory 2-1 with Steve Ford hitting back for Pink too late to claim the draw their play deserved Blue and Orange looked equally matched in the retro colour derby But goals from City Geoff and Chris G sealed another narrow win by 2 goals to 1 (Tom Derby etc etc) hitting back for the mis-firing Orange

In the night's finale we had just one 'official goal' though there seems clear evidence that other goals might have been scored For the record the Ghost claimed another match ball with the solitary goal of a bore fest between White and Orange On the other pitch we suspect Sharon bagged her first goal on her first outing in the 'Big League' (who writes this stuff?) The Cockney Rebel on a scoring run that dates back to the start of April claimed a goal as did Disco Deggs (this goal was ruled out by the Dodgy Goals Panel in the post match Boot Room session)

The Boot Room is located in the Turks Head Cooper Street St Helens WA10 2DQ and is open to all and every member after our Wednesday sessions The craic is usually mighty though sometimes a discussion of the night's football action is open for debate

Play ended with a deafening blast of the Referee's whistle all agreed it was another memorable (or not) night for the Club Our thoughts turned to our stricken hero team mate facing an agonising 6 hour visit to Whiston Hospital The news today is that Jeff has a possible acromioclavicular joint separation (AC Joint) and could require surgery His fate will be determined when he sees a Consultant anytime in the next 12 months (Brexit benefit right there)

We all wish him the best outcome He might be back sooner taking up his blossoming refereeing career to the delight of us all

I feel Love (a Blog) coming on* - Felice Taylor 1967 Number 11 in UK Charts

103 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All



bottom of page