Once A Year*

The last week of Walking Football in 2024 kicked off with Monday morning’s Ruskin Sports Village session played under grey skies but with festive colours fitting the occasion Santa’s Select reprised their Last Christmas hit but without the impromptu pile on that had failed a late H&S fitness test

A potential new way to process registration, subs fee extraction and warm-up was trialled and quickly dismissed There will be another twist in the New Year to whet appetites in advance of warm-up and stretches But more of that another day

There was plenty of discussion of our most successful Turks Head Night Out yet It seems to have been a resounding success though not everyone responded to the strict dress code imposed by the Club Executive

Social Secretary Supremo ‘Martin Cockney Rebel’ Briggs has vowed to raise the bar for our Events Calendar to mark our 10th Anniversary next year - no pressure then! Our thanks to Martin, Karen and their crack team of er…..crackers

Forty two players were honed into a lean mean selection dilemma but yet again Moneyball pulled another triumph out of the bag The following teams made the cut;

Santas - Little John, Gonzalo, Eamon, Mark Dav, Eileen, Enoch and Mika

Orange - Julie, Charlie, Barry Wizz, Chris K, Kirsty, Sheila, PaulF and

McSpeed

Purple - Donal, Subbuteo Dave, Citeh Geoff, Les H, , Les Meldrew and Haggis

Sky - Grav, Tomo, Robin, Liz, Cockney Rebel, Tom Stretch and Snakehips

Black - Phil the Power, Michelle Monday, Brian, Lord Rainford, Roger, Andy Man and Chris G

Yellow - Glen, Paul Mc, Ashy, Willo, Aldo, Steve Jones and Phil the Cat

There was a mild panic with no Referee other than Head Judge Jeff Betty available to keep an eye on the morning’s antics El Presidente did arrive after play was underway having been detained by an urgent insurrection in the Peoples Republic of Cheshire

in the event play had proceeded with the festive spirit having a benign influence on runnin’ cheatin’ and mytherin’ as they say in Merseyside

Herr Betty took charge of the Santa v Orange clash, with memories still vivid of last year’s Santa tear-up that included one Santa who has since left the Club for alleged reindeer abuse The sides were very strong with a sprinkling of naughty and nice evident There was an early scare after Santa Mika was caught by a stray hoof in his sack There was some confusion as Santa scored all six for the Santas, Gonzalo 4 and Chris K scored for Orange as the game descended into farce with the score 6-5 in favour of the Santas

Witnesses claimed that Gonzalo also played for the Santas as Jeff Betty passed his whistle and cards to Mark Dav for the final portion of the contest Kirsty was the unlucky victim of a ricochet that earned her the unfortunate title of Santa’s Little Helper!

At another point Eileen used her face to prevent a rising shot from Sheila finding the net “Just a flesh wound” she wasn’t heard to say

Importantly, no one was too concerned with score, in keeping with the season it was the fun aspect that was the real winner

On the adjacent pitch Black faced Yellow in an end to end encounter that produced some very watchable moments The result was in doubt until the very end Yellow played in a tight attacking platform using their extra mobility to move about the pitch very effectively Black had a more expansive formation, that was, on occasion, dangerously over-stretched Special mention to Lord Rainford who played as a ‘quarter back’ spreading the ball about the pitch with his Sussex Sweep (he prefers wand) employed to great effect

Aldo lashed in a great strike for Yellow, who might have extended their lead when Steve Jones had his effort ruled out for a foul in the build up Yellow held a 2-1 lead for much of the game Michelle Monday fired a fine goal for Black following up a Brian strike 3-2 Yellow still in front We had a couple of moments of outstanding sportsmanship as one might reasonably expect in SHWFC games Then Aldo picked off a distribution mistake to push Yellow 4-2 ahead just when it seemed Black were on top Undaunted Black pressed looking for the parity their play deserved, creating chances but without cashing in Andy urged his team onwards with his usual drive Chris Gilmore was desperately unlucky to beat the keeper but only hit a post as Black lay siege on the Yellow goal Michelle lashed a shot into the net but was called back to take the free kick from a yard further back 4-2 the game ended, though the score rather flattered Yellow

At the far end Sky played Purple in another well balanced game Play ebbed and flowed from end to end McSpeed had claimed a Purple opener only for Grav to level with a fierce drive through the Purple keeper 1-1 There might have been further goals but sadly all accurate records were erased or not communicated to the Blog editorial team All participants were happy with the game and that is surely the best measurement

The Slipper Salon was over-flowing with members and cakes, thus ensuring the last Monday session ended on a high note A suggestion that we add special Tuesday morning sessions to compensate for any Bank Holiday Mondays that we lose due to Ruskin being closed during April/May each year was agreed as being something we will try to arrange in 2025 Keep an eye open for updates

Wednesday’s afternoon showers turned to something much less pleasant as the day wore on By 7:00pm we had reports of standing water on the AstroTurf wastes, undaunted our intrepid heroes set about enjoying the last hurrah before Christmas

The teams were;

Blue - Haggis, Chris 10P, Benno, Eileen. Graham, Ian and Simon

Green - Little John, Peter T, Subbuteo Dave, Tom Stretch, Roger and Andy Man

The game played in atrocious conditions was a super example of mind over (doesn’t) matter Blue thanks goals by Chris 10P 4, Simon 3 and Ian 2 beat Green despite goals by Tom 3, Andy 2, Dave and Little John A terrific contest played very sensibly throughout 9-7 to Blue It was a night for work rate over raw power Blue cleverly kept possession and grafted to stay on top At the end handshakes and congratulations all round Referee Jeff Betty complete with 2 jackets was soaked to the skin but beaming after his swim back to the dressing rooms

Indoors the SoccerDome was also the scene of some fabulous football served up for the watching ball boys and occasional choir boys Geoff P and Phil the Cat

El Presidente juggled Refereeing and Blog-writing duties but had little to do for much of the game Sportsmanship yet again a feature of the session

The Innards were;

White - Enoch, Grav, Les H, Colin the Late and Joe the Ghost

Red - Steve Carine, Cockney Rebel, Phil the Power, Lord Rainford and Disco Deggs

Red swiftly found themselves trailing, despite looking on top in the opening exchanges Two defensive blunders (wayward pass and unfortunate back pass into the net) and a failure to structure their defence to nullify White counter attacking meant White took a 3-0 lead, thanks to goals by Colin the Late, Grav plus a misplaced backpass by our Social Secretary

Red found a way to set up Steve Carine who smashed home to spark the revival 3-1 Lord Rainford grabbed Red’s second with a cool finish Red,now passing much better and arranging their defence with greater care, were much more competitive 3-2 White’s lead now under severe pressure The game much more cagey now Cockney Rebel atoned for his earlier error with a smart finish for 3-3

As halftime approached White recaptured the lead, clearing a corner to snatch a goal at the other end 4-3 White back on top at least on paper

Play resumed with Red moving the ball sharper and more accurately White content to contain their opponents as high on the pitch as possible Steve Carine drew the sides level again firing a shot past the despairing keeper for 4-4

Steve Carine picked off a loose pass in a dangerous area to put Red 5-4 ahead for the first time As fatigue started to set in the final quarter, an elderly hitman keeled over with no one within a yard Play back to the cagey style that had typified much of the opening half Red missed a great chance to stretch their lead White then had a great chance to draw level when Colin blasted wide from a penalty, following Huyton’s finest wander into his area 5-4 Red still in front Lord Rainford almost repeated his first half heroics but was wide

It was 5-5 soon after with White entering pressure after a series of corners

The winning strike fell to Lord Rainford who finessed the deftest of touches beyond the keeper 6-5 Red on top again looking to close out the match Bags of action marked the final five minutes but ultimately the scoring for the year was all over Red held on to the advantage White unable to draw level A great way to end the action for 2024

The Boot Room media session was short and sweet Distraction supplied yet again by Sky and their crusade to platform football controversy for every occasion SHWFC players who have seen it all over the years were unimpressed with the preposterous punditry on offer

To all Members we wish a Happy Christmas and prosperous New Year We return to action on Monday 6th January at Ruskin and Wednesday 8th at Sutton

Once A Year* - Ingrid Andress (famous for a drunken version of the Star Spangled Banner - which led to spell in rehab - we feel your pain Ingrid)