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Life in the Fast Lane*

There was a return to something approaching normal on Wednesday night's Sutton session this week After the excitement of the Llandudno trip and this Monday's unusual Ruskin strideout we had El Presidente and Lord Rainford return to 'action' if such a description can be loosely attached to the pair Monday minus our usual Blog Meisters meant no one was around to record the action (or their version of it at least) The Club has seen an unprecented increase in membership numbers in the apst month Some of our newbies have stayed beneath the radar (as there was no Monday Blog) whilst others had debuted whilst the Blog Meisters were in North Wales

The assembled masses totalled 26 playing with another 4 on the sidelines in one capacity or another for the evening Static stretches were quickly completed before Coach Clark led the dynamic stuff on the AstroTurf

Due to a cock up in kit department we had just 3 sets of bibs to work with The suggestion to make one of the teams to prepare as 'skins' was quickly dismissed and so we had 2 teams of 7 and 2 teams of 6 - one team would multi coloured whilst their comrades wore White, Black and Neon

The teams were;

Black 7 - Gaz 'Coach Clark, Andy Capt., new boy Eamon O'Donnell, newer boy Neil Simms, Phil the Power, Lee Thomo and Mark No Relation Davies

Multi -Colours 7 - Tom Stretch Parr, Citeh Geoff, Lord Rainford, Darron Whalley, Haggis, Dave Babylon Gray and Joe the Ghost


White 6 - Ken Perrett, Chris Willo, Cockney Rebel, Bally, Vicar of Dibley and Little John

Neon 6 - Lefty Bridge, Les Meldrew, Tom Derby, Dave Bates, Martin Mc and Paul Porter


Officials for the night were Jeffy Betty Birchall, Disco Deggs (Huyton's hamstrung hero and sometimes Referee) El Presidente assistant Referee and Blog writer Coach John Davies (knee knack) and Chris 4G (groin gah)

The pitches were hard and fast with surplus sand having dried out in the recent hot weather scattered about the playing surface The Black and Multi Coloured match up was a very tight affair Lots of action, some decent passages of movement and sharp passing plus an excellent atmosphere of players communicating on both sides all very admirable but no goals Lord Rainford rained shots from afar but couldn't find the net Darron surged through but fired wide His dark blue shirt probably presented him with more ball than his team provided (try picking out a pass to a Black when there's a pass possible to a Dark Blue) So no goals but plenty to admire Neil and Eamon showing up well on their first appearances Mark showing some nices touches with his usual pace in sharp contrast to that witnessed on the adjacent pitch Neon stormed to a fine 3-0 victory over the White with goals by Tom Derby, the Vicar of Dibley and Dave Bates The pace at times too much for Disco Deggs who adopted a double toot whistle to make his point That's life in the fast lane!

In the second round of games Lord Rainford was plucked from his role for the Multi to a similar roving commission for the understrength Yellow in their match up with Black Tom Derby was the first to unleash a shot but his effort only found the biggest target on the pitch (Coach Clark's ass) Lord Rainford adopted an unusual tactic to head an effort away from danger (which led to a free kick to the marauding Blacks Tom Derby finally opened the scoring picking off a blacked effort from Paul Porter to fire home 1-0 to Neon With the dust barely settling Gaz struck a fine equaliser to draw Black level

The White and Multi Colours gme was settled by a single controversial goal scored by Darron In the build up Joe had taken a tumble and as some players stopped waiting for the usual return the ball to the keeper (whilst checking the fallen player was ok) instead Darron fired home Disco Deggs was unmmoved by the polite protests The usual protacol was missed and there was an East End muttering for much of the rest of the night Play was fast and furious at times making it scrappy and disappointing for the spectators 1-0 the final score with Multi ahead for much of the match after the dubious opener

The final round of games saw Chris 4G enter the action as a stand in for White (Ken Perrett had to withdraw with a hamstring knack)

Multi faced Yellow with lots of shots on and off target Dave Gray was a force whilst sporting a fine tanned expression throughout the night Tom Parr stretched to poke Multi ahead 1-0

Joe the Ghost seemed back to form following his face block from a Coach Davies piledriver in LLlandudno last week His modelling career might be over but at times he was very effective (on the edge of the other game) But the recurring issue of the night was the amount of times defenders took too long to pick a pass to a team mate only to be closed down and then fire off a nothing pass to no one Like keepers who dwell on their clearance all that can result is an easy pick off for the attacking side Martin Mc picked off one wayward clearance too many and scored a good goal to take a share of the spoils Paul Porter produced one great late save and play ended as a 1-1 draw

In the final match between Black and White Phil scored the best goal of the night to give Black the early advantage 1-0 The Cockney rebel implored his team mates to show for him rather than moving behind their opponents There was a crude tackle from Mark NR on Bally quite how he escaped sanction we will leave for Jeff Betty to explain Gaz punished White with a smart goal to double the Black lead 2-0 There might have been more goals but time elapsed with Black in firm control 2-0 winners

Martin McNevin a goal scorer on Wednesday night


Chris 4G Gourjie guest keeper for White on Wednesday



Monday main man Mike Bates


Kirsty Stockton Monday's leading Lady


In the absense of the Blogsters on Monday we've the breifest of mentions for some of the stand out performances Mike Bates was his usual driving force at the heart of the action Kirsty produced her performance for a couple of weeks with her equipment issue apparently now resolved She made one goal and scored another in a good showing A mention for Anita too for a series of fine saves Well done all

This edition is the 175th edition of the Blog so its highly likely the Blog Meisters were celebrating that milestone with the odd bottle of fine claret The sacrifices we make in the name of SHWFC!


Life in the Fast Lane* - The Eagles

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