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I Forgot To Be Your Blogger*


The relentless production line of breathless blogs detailing our doings on the pitches of Ruskin and Sutton has been a bit erratic of late. There’s been an absence of the usual scribes owing to operations, injuries, holidays, having gas fires fitted plus more Bank Holidays than is healthy for an average month

In addition our first internal ‘Le Tournoi’ has meant more organisin’, less photographin’ and sparser reportin’ than is usually the case.


Sorry about that. The more observant of you will possibly noted that this style of journalism is most notably forelock acknowled modest and humble (almost exclusively rules out our usual contributors) piece of whitewash allowed column inch space for many a moon For that we thank Lord Rainford's Butler's lackey (no career in journalism quite yet dear boy)


It is strange how quickly you get out of the habit of taking pictures of our line ups for posterity which is usually the first stage of our blogs. It means that this blog of our latest efforts at Sutton last Wednesday has even more holes in it than my old gardening trousers. The editor has promised swift action in the trouser department for the faint hearted of you But back to the action.....


What I can report is that we had an excellent turn out on Wednesday with 38 players splitting into 4 teams of 6 and two of 7. We also had two volunteer Referees in Jeff Betty and Eamon – and we thank them for that.

This also illustrates that we could do with yet more volunteers; maybe – as was suggested at our recent AGM – only volunteering for one game per session. This means that you’d still get 40 minutes playing rather than having the whistle between your lips for the full hour. I do believe that Boots the Apothecary supply a cream for that More on that story later!


The games started with a timely reminder from Les Meldrew ringing in our ears that Walking Football is NOT a contact sport and with under 40s playing with those pushing 80, we need to stick to the principles of Walking Football.

One of these is of course….err…. walking and the other is no contact. This prohibits tackling from behind and/or from the side outside a player’s peripheral vision. To be fair, most people adhere to this – or try to. We all know that sometimes you can’t help yourself nipping from behind Joe the Ghost to nick the ball off him (“what, me Ref?”) as instincts can take hold.

As long as we all recognise these as accidental temporary descents into temptation and apologise when they are then sanctioned by the Referee, no harm done and no recriminations. Les Meldrew having reminded all and sundry of their obligations then threatened to launch the first miscreant caught with his own variant of righteous indignation


Never mind the sermon, you all say, what about the games? Aye, well, there’s the rub. A request was put on our WhatsApp group for people to supply this writer with highlights, and in a surprising attack of modesty it's seems that the entire SHWFC collective, Well, either that or they just couldn’t be arsed! Your choice dear reader


What I can reveal is that Paul 'Roger' Moore decided that his starting trainers that he wore for the night's games were simply not suitable Having spent a considerable part of the evening in a non-vertical position, we can reasonably accept he might have a point Phil the Power had an unusual goal awarded with a shot first saved by Les, but as the ball then went over head height before spinning back into the net. Les chanced his luck claiming keepers’ ball, but the Ref was having none of that Kudos Ref

I was appraised that Michelle (and I must be careful how I write this) had one or two difficulties controlling a ball that went between her legs As this is of course a Family Blog let's leave that thought right there


We had a rare goal scored from a free kick move when the aforementioned Joe the Ghost passed to Cockney Rebel who either: -


a) hit it and hoped, or

b) calmly placed the ball beyond Harry’s despairing dive into the corner of the net

 Again it's up to you dear reader to decide, depending on who you believe.


That goal concluded an improved evening for White who went from being thrashed in their first game (it was more than 3 but quite how many more seems open to dispute) to winning their last two matches

Sadly, their opponents in the 'free kick' game, the redundant Red, didn’t manage even a draw or (I think) a goal all night This despite having Ian ‘Lefty’ Bridge and that demon forward Steve Honeyman in their ranks and even with Harry the Hatchet proving his reliable self in goal. Just one of those nights eh teammates? This would indicate that M'Lord Rainford was a Red methinks


Hopefully readers, a normal SHWFC blog service will be resumed in near future. Until next time then Never accept any lesser Blogs or believe any boasts you read elsewhere


I Forgot To Be Your Lover (Blogger)* - William Bell legendary Stax recording star

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