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Here Comes the Girls*

SHWFC has enjoyed a long history of being able to hold their weekly meet-ups in benign weather conditions Monday's Ruskin session proved to be the latest in a parade of sessions played in a window of decent weather in the midst of miserable weather As Members gathered to prepare for play the weather Gods decided to smile and we enjoyed an hour of clement conditions There was a new member too, as the Board's backing of Coach Davies with the multi million£ signing of Sheila Darwin doubled the Club's female contingent as well as enhancing the squad ahead of the up-coming National Cup campaign


With a number of regulars crying off for a variety of reasons and the very real threat of a deluge the assembled 18 players plus Coach Davies, Herr Betty of Dusseldorf were introduced to Roy Evans, a specialist personal trainer brought in to prepare the squad for games ahead. Roy a Personal Trainer with the Torus Foundation, encouraged the group through some novel warm up moves The Club's Moneyball algorithm was employed to select two teams of 9 a side and delivered the following sides:


Yellow - Colin the late Williams, Tom Stretch, Alex Greasy Thumbs, Sheila (impressing on her debut) Steve Goldie, Tony Snakehips, Mike Oxo Oxley, Lord Rainford and Joe the Ghost

Purple - an Imperial colour - Phil the Power, El Presidente, Andy Capt., Andy Brownie, Anita, Chopper, Dave McCarthy, Citeh Geoff and Cockney Rebel


Play was swiftly underway with Purple settling first with their surfeit of defenders soaking up the Yellows attempts to find a way through to goal Purple had perhaps less fire-power but did take an increasingly strong hold on possession through the efforts of Andy Capt., El Presidente and the Cockney Rebel

On their right flank Anita and Chopper were increasingly effective, offering a way forward with Phil leading the line The early play suggested Purple might enjoy some success on their right wing and after some close inter-passing Phil hit an angled drive that found the net for the opening goal

Yellow stepped up their efforts with Oxo and Colin combining well Joe constantly an unpredictable threat in the last third Tom Stretch playing in a slightly withdrawn role was his usual industrious force but had to sacrifice his goal threat to protect his defence Alex and Lord Rainford occasionally over run with Purple attackers

Sheila displayed some excellent touches combining with her new team mates Steve Goldie was all action too occasionally falling foul of Herr Betty's interventions The second period produced some great approach work but no further goals 1-0 the narrowest of margins separating the sides

Coach Davies encouraged both sides to spread the play to use the space and must have been impressed by the endeavour on display

Herr Betty had a relatively quiet morning on top of any infractions His special interpretation of, the 'Over head Height' rule was challenged at times Are we playing the Snow White & & Dwarfs version, one wag enquired? But his decisions were accepted in good grace and we got on with the game Play ebbed and flowed from side to side and end to end but in truth there were few clear cut chances for a second goal Play ended with a lusty blow from Herr Betty's Acme Thunderer


Ahead of Victor's pleading for a bib launderer players were put through a short but vital warm down with Roy His explanation made perfect sense and so we eased our weary bodies through a final series of stretches and moves to end the morning's fun



The Purple victory secured by a solitary strike form Phil was fittingly marked by his distribution of Birthday Cake in the sumptuous surroundings of the Slipper Lounge Congratulations to him for reaching the threshold of eligibility for our Over 60s squad (actually it was early February but who's counting?) An excellent game decided by a single goal that all enjoyed


Here Comes the Girls* - Ernie K Doe We hope to publish an interview with Anita & Sheila in the next week elsewhere on the website

In other news the Club has secured the on-going use of Sutton Leisure for our Wednesday sessions thanks to the efforts of Lord Rainford and El Presidente for the coming year at the very least