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Ghost in the machine*

Huge thanks today to our new correspondent Nigel who volunteered his services to the cause of literature, the truth and a bright new tomorrow

Following an eventful weekend with Mother’s Day celebrations rapidly becoming a distant memory, and clocks having sprung forward, perhaps too quickly for some, the sunlight broke through the morning haze and the gladiators of SHWFC assembled once more, heaving their battered and bruised bodies across the Rubicon (aka Windle Brook - you live & learn! Editor.

It was also with great sadness that we learned over the weekend of the passing of Lord Rainford's distant rock cousin, Taylor Hawkins of Foo Fighters fame... May he rest in beats.

Planting feet upon the 3G turf immediately lifted the collective football spirit and all was good in this best of all possible world's once more.

Ref Jeff Betty could be seen inspecting the pitch as the players arrived, or was he looking for loose change or even his marbles? Who knows? With 20 players available to take to the field and a throng of pitch-side supporters (Lord Injured, Alain, Thatto Dave and ?Dave McCarthy) it was decided to play across the width of the pitch once more but within walking football pitch size limits.

Without delay, El Presidente commenced the essential warm up session (very much so given the recent run of injuries) and then, selected teams based on the old game show favourite, Mr & Mrs, Players were asked to find a partner to only then be quickly divorced and split into two teams of Yellows and Purples.


Yellows: Alex Greasy Thumbs, Martin Cockney Rebel, Grav, Donal, Mika, Steve Honeyman, Steve Goldie, Tony Snake Hips, Mike Ox and Nigel

Purples: Phil the Power, Steve Ford, Alan Molly, Les Meldrew, Speedo Mick, Anita, David Seagull, Andy Capt, Joe the Ghost and Tom Stretch

And so to the Action

Despite the random Mr & Mrs team selection approach, the teams appeared evenly matched until Purple slowly grew in confidence and control mainly through the middle of the pitch. The fact that they were trailing by 2 goals scored by Mike Ox and Steve Honeyman for Yellow might have contributed to the wake up The width of the pitch was there for all to see but few trusted the wide-open spaces, or even ventured there despite the exasperated calls from El Presidente on the touchline.

On balance, Purple passed the ball with more accuracy and frequency throughout than Yellow which resulted in a well-deserved 4 goals for Joe The Ghost. Steve The Honeyman responding for Yellow with a brace of finely poached goals up front.

Ref Betty ruled with an iron fist and a tin whistle, ensuring any running was stamped on without apology.

Grav who claimed a goal for his efforts, Ox, Steve, Donal and Cockney Rebel worked the midfield well for Yellows resulting in some good attempts on goal. For Purple, Tom was his usual pivotal midfield self, supported well by Molly Les, Speedo and Steve Ford all looking for opportunities to feed the strike force of Phil the Power and Joe The Ghost. Defensively, Andy Capt., Anita and Dave Seagull played well. Dave literally body-checked any attempts by Yellow to get forward, the pick of which wad an unforgettable collision with The Honeyman, 9.7 on the Richter scale. Thankfully, both players survived.

The Honeyman blotted his copybook when penalised for launching a John Smith’s ‘Have it’ clearance from outside his goal area, resulting in a well taken penalty goal by (who else), but Joe The Ghost.

A great morning’s footy was had by all with no additional injuries of note, so roll-on Wednesday.

National Cup News

As promised easrlier here are details of the 1st Round draw and our Squad for this year's competition

Over 50s Home v Blackpool Senior Seasiders Sutton Drive Sunday 3rd April 2:00

Squad - Ian Hopkins

Mike Oxley

Lee Speight

Nigel Smith

Mark Gravener

Derek Taylor

Andy Houghton

Steve Goldthorpe

Steve Forshaw

Tom Parr

Over 60s Home v 1874 Northwich Ruskin Drive Monday 11th April 11:00am

Squad - Phil Middleton

Steve Ford

Steve Goldthorpe

Joe Hardman

Martin Briggs

Andy Houghton

John Hawkins

Steve Forshaw

Allan Maldon

Tom Parr

Dave Barrow

Donal McCormick

Over 65s 1sr Round bye due to play early May

Squad - Les Brack

Peter Fitzpatrick

Colin Williams

Mick Makin

Dave Barrow

Allan Maldon

Tom Parr

Steve Forshaw

Tony Byrne

Any one who is unable to play on the dates indicated so far please let El Presidente or Lord Rainford know as soon as possible We are allowed to add to the squad but do need to give advance notice

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