Feasting on the Flowers* - Don't let it go to your head*

Ah we spoil you! Not one song referenced Blog but two for the price of none Free of Charge

Monday morning at Ruskin was always going to be a bit of a challenge We leaned that FIFA that august body that leads the promotion of the beautiful game worldwide were due to descend on Ruskin's hallowed turf (well AstroTurf) to conduct a series measurements and ratification studies ahead of the new season (that one that kicks off next month with a series of money spinning friendlies

FIFA are known for their ruthless efficiency and money spinning efficiency in particular They're also known for their splendid 27 course lunches of fine foods and finer wines that often last longer than the business side of their meetings We agreed to vacate our normal pitch to facilitate the men from Switzerland and decamp to the nearby Rugby pitch which we did with glee As our session ended there was still no sign of Swiss party (had they stopped for a late breakfast?) We might never know as even after our post session warm down with coffee, tea and cold libations there was still no one from Messrs Blatter and Blatter (M Platini Consultant) to be seen at Ruskin

21 reported for duty with a late recruit Margaret Mills joining the fun El Presidente (fresh from his triumphant Irish debut) volunteered to referee (as his legs were like jelly this was entirely predictable His recovery was then abandoned with the late arrival of Norman Bates (10:45 start Mike) So 22 players no referee and baking heat and humidity off the scale Perfect

We swiftly decided on 2 games one 6 a-side and one 5 a side to test the foreign surface of PIlkingtons RLFC

The teams were;

Purple - Steve Honeyman, Les, Tom Stretch, Anita and Mark Davies (no relation)

Blue - Cockney Rebel, Lord Rainford, Citeh Geoff, Tony K and Thatto Dave

Neon - Phil, Mika, Goldie, Molly, Margaret and El Presidente (complete with Medallion)

Reds - Grav, Andy Capt., Norman Bates, Steve Ford, Tony Snakehips and Dave Seagull

We are indebted to Lord Rainford who dictated part of this Blog to his Butler during a rather one sided game Les undertook Refereeing duties (with predictable consequences) However the first portion of the game was even, highlighted by a fine goal by Citeh Geoff who was sporting Financial Fairplay FCs latest shirt for the morning his effort a rising drive following a short corner was wisely left by Tom Stretch who has an otherwise splendid game between the sticks Mark and the Honeyman kept Purple in the hunt but goals from Lord R, Rebel C and Thatto D meant Blues were ahead at the break Like most players failing to cope with the heat and humidity Purple wilted in the second period One of the surprising factors never talked about in polite circles is the affect that the sun can have on men with thinning hair Let's just express the hope that El Presidente can find a supplier capable of manufacturing bibs with handy hoods for our future sessions We do have follicly challenged players within the group so the demand must be there! The game ended in a 8-2 victory for Blues with most of not all the team finding the net Anita & Tom Stretch each produced a number of fine saves but the game ended as a contest once Blues had got on top after the interval

The other game was a rather one sided affair too with Reds having too much drive and dominance for their plucky Neon opponents Any team that can field Andy Capt., Steve Ford, Norman Bates and Grav will be hard to beat Neon included 3 players returning from injury lay offs plus a debutant and knackered despotic dictator and at times the gulf was all too apparent Dave Seagull was presented with a simple opener before Steve Goldie pulled a goal back for the Neon But once Steve Ford and Norman found their range the siege on the Neon goal started By half time it was 3-1 surprisingly closer than it seemed when caught up in the action After the break with several walking wounded now in clear difficulties Reds piled on the pressure Margaret endured the toughest of introductions to the game but to her credit kept up her one woman assault on the Red goal El Presidente pulled off a number of saves to protect the Neon dignity As time ran out Reds bombarded the Neon goal 7-1 the final result A hard day at the Office all agreed

Feasting on the Flowers* - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Don't let it go to your head* - Jean Carne (Philadelphia International recording artiste)