Eventually*

We've been spoiled, very lucky over the years But like all good things sooner or later life comes along and bites you on the bum A diversion on the highway, a bump in the road or something is thrown up that shifts routine to a different path

Ruskin Sports Village was bathed in sunshine for the session as required ✅

Thirty players fully paid up and looking pleasant arrived raring to go✅

Bibs were available to distribute ✅

Arcoframe Arena pitch was ready for play ✅

However, access to the pitch was locked secure with keys missing in action

After what seemed like an eternity (but in reality was probably just a few minutes) Ellen our Resident gate guardian solved our dilemma and play was finally possible

Andy Man(anger) wasted no time extolling the virtues of stretching and gently warming muscles in need of flexing to put players through their paces Gonzalo distributed bibs and after a brief discussion with our senior pros settled on the following selections;

Sky - Les Meldrew, Paul J, Eamon, Liz and Mike McSpeed

Yellow - Chopper, Clint, Chris K, Margaret and Andy Man

Pink - Phil the Power, Charlie, Amazon, Phil the Moss and Kenny

Orange - Barry, C Rebel, Gonzalo, Mika, Sheila

Purple - Paul Findlow, Julie, Tom Stretch, Mark NR and Michelle Monday

Black, Jill Thomo, Willo, Enoch, Haggis and Little John

Referees included the rehabilitating Citeh Geoff Painter who readily volunteered to officiate with regular despots Jeff Betty and El Presidente An apology was provided by Lord Rainford's Butler who explained that his Lordship had been detained by an urgent overnight sitting of the House

Later it emerged that His Lordship might have paid a surprise visit to give a rousing speech to the Japanese Walking Football team Was their final training session at the Real Madrid complex in Tokyo before their trip to England was marked by our eccentrically dressed Secretary? (see photo below) The source of this scurrilous photo is unknown but strenuous efforts will be made to determine whether the story is true or just mischievous fun! Usual fee old boy?

Our thanks as ever to our volunteers without whom etc etc Thanks for your help and patience above all

Play got promptly underway at 1:30 (it felt quite late) Orange facing the Sky on Pitch B Unfancied Sky took a shock lead when Paul Jennings fired home but the lead was soon after cancelled out as Gonzalo equalised 1-1 and a well balanced encounter Sheila claimed the vital winner however with a late goal courtesy of a well timed pass from Gonzalo On the adjacent Pitch A (nearest the grandstand) Pink and Black failed to find the net 0-0 whilst Purple snatched the narrowest of victories thanks to a Tom Stretch goal in added time Green denied a draw 1-0

Sky and Green produced some excellent if rapid Football that had El Presidente explaining more than once that Slow Down was what he required A fine strike by Liz gave Sky the lead but it took an excellent outside of the foot effort by Eamon to seal the 2-0:win His shot swerved away from the keeper to nestle in the near corner of the net Pink and Orange drew 1-1 under the gaze of Citeh Geoff whilst Purple secured another 1-0 win thanks to a Mark Davies goal, Black denied in another close match up

In Round 3 Black and Green produced some epic end to end stuff but lacked a decisive striker The game was finally settled when keeper Andy Man turned creator with a defence splitting pass that gave Clint the simplest of chances to score 1-0 Black unfortunate yet again Amazon Prime delivered the only goal as Pink pipped Sky 1-0 Orange ran riot with their 3-1 demolition of Purple Gonzalo with a brace and denied a hat trick by some eager refereeing Sheila claimed her second of the morning in some style

Pink and Purple was a tight affair with few chances on offer Michelle Monday went close before Mark eventually was rewarded for his shooting on sight policy 1-0 and on target Purple 1-0 victors in a very close encounter Chris Kelsall claimed Green's winner in their hard fought match with Orange Sky proved too strong for the luckless Black their 4-0 result the day's best score No goal scorers were noted, doubtless players will be eager to claim their goal haul after this piece has been published For the record with absolute certainty Disco Deggs was not among the scorers (largely due to the fact he wasn't even playing - but we know he does like a claim)

And so the grand finale of the Morning's action Black and Orange fell under the charm of El Presidente Black still seeking their first goal of the day Jill Thomo almost ended the drought with a shot that clipped the crossbar Hemp-style Cockney Rebel opened the scoring Barry the provider with a left wing surge that turned back the years Sheila and Gonzalo had combined in the move a true team effort Gonzalo sealed the win again sharp passing presenting the chance that sealed 2-0 win Sky pipped Purple 2-1 in another close game on Pitch C (or the far end) A solitary goal by Kenny condemned Green to a 1-0 reverse Pink pinching the points with a late goal (twilight falling)

Play ended with general agreement that despite the delay and initial confusions some epic games were played The sumptuous surroundings of the Slipper Salon were bereft of cake for once Talk turned to holidays and sunnier climes Bank Holiday next Monday Back with a bang on Monday 4th September

Eventually* - Pink