End of Year Awards - everyone's a winner!

Horizontal Hero Award – Dave ‘Grazer’ Clark

Finalist in Sick Note Award but clear winner in this category where his tackling technique “if in doubt fall over in front of your opponent” often pays dividends – hard earned nickname Grazer

Disappearing goalie of the Year – Derek Deggsy Taylor

Beaten twice in 2 minutes of his first outing between the sticks without being within 2 feet of either shot, do not think he is really a keeper

Mad Hatter Award – John Hawkins

Style icon and now star of Harry’s Razors social media campaign John is also an accomplished Blog writer and sometimes defender

Eye Candy Award – Chris Fitzpatrick

A clear leader in the ‘Capocannoniere’ award category but this ‘A Lister’ made the leap to social media eye candy superstardom by being selected by Harry’s Razors to front their campaign

Its my ball Award – Michaylo Fedyk

Despite not always managing to herd players into his team selection Mike has a happy knack of being on the winning side nevertheless

Fiscal Responsibility Award – Alex Greasy Thumbs Jackson

Despite enduring the toughest year in living memory Alex has always managed to extract ‘subs’ to take back to his hollowed-out volcano lair in Haydock

Best football shirt Award – Alan McKie

Alan has regularly shown all comers a clean pair of heels in this category with his obscure French Collection. Honourable mention goes to Geoff Painter but just the one Club does not really cut it!

Most honest player Category – Andy Houghton

Andy often uniquely owns up to rule infractions even when the referee misses the incident or is not really arsed anyway

Clearance of the Year – a joint award in 2020 – Gareth Clark and John Hawkins

Gareth who pinged a shot onto the adjacent running track or John who is also the sometime Thatto Heath Invader

Vodafone Mobile Phone Award – joint winners in 2020 – Tony Byrne and Colin Williams

Tony – I do not really do those new-fangled things

Colin - I might have a mobile phone or possibly not

Darren Anderton Sick Note Award – Peter Fitzpatrick

Peter just edged out the Grazer but had to go to the extreme of a knee replacement to seal it

Steve Pitt Fair Play Award – Ian Bridge

Ian was mystified twice in two weeks by controversial decisions but accepted both with good grace (possible audible utterances excepted)

Thankless Task Award – Steve Pitt

Steve stepped into the lion’s den and officiated without fear or favour. A BIG thank you, and referral to Specsavers Colour Blind Services

Danger to low-flying aircraft Award – Martin Williams

Martin’s uncompromising clearance technique sometimes poses a threat to nearby Speke Airport flight departures Mentioned in Blue Card Award Category too

Eric Bristow Award – Martin Briggs

Martin is now widely recognised as the consummate penalty king, despite the language barrier

Early leaver Award – Les Brack

Les often leaves our game early Is it because?

A. He is on a promise B. Desperately needs a pee

C. Watching a televised match. D. Setting next questions for WhatsApp Quiz

Ballet Splits Award – Tom Parr

Stretch Armstrong eat your heart out, Tom’s ability to read and stretch to cut off a pass reaches the other hemisphere at times

Camouflage Award – Joe Hardman

Like that United grey kit at the old Dell in 1996, Joe has an uncanny ability to blend into the crowd on the adjacent Sidac pitch

Lord of the Rings – Steve Forshaw

In my long career and involvement in football I have never known Ring Stopped Play, but Steve somehow temporarily lost his wedding ring during one game Unbelievable Geoff

Sussex County Cricket Club Award – David Trenner

David often sports a jaunty SCCC top during Monday morning games, a sight rarely seen north of Watford

Yoga for all Award – John Davies

John claims this award for unstinting work saving the hamstrings and groin muscles of all players Flexible and distressed walking footballers now synonymous words Clear winner of Moneyball

If at First, you do not succeed Award – Phil Middleton

Phil spent his early Ruskin sessions peppering the fence behind the net but then found the corner of the net with the most-deft touch imaginable. Pass the ball into the net, persistence pays!

Twinkle Toes Glitter Ball – John Eden

John can no longer make Wednesday night sessions due to other commitments watch out Anton!

Exocet Award – Lee Speight

Sherdley Park witnessed the fiercest shot in recorded history in July when Lee unleashed a screamer from half-way. The Referee did not have the heart to tell him it would not count!

WhatsApp Columnist Award – Jeff Birchall

Jeff occasionally wakes up at night to become a keyboard warrior with stinging remarks whilst the rest of the time his car makes more noise than he does!

5th Touch Award – Mike Harrison

Mike has a dazzling array of dribbling tricks that he displays on occasion, he has sometimes taken a 5th touch at these moments. He takes the inevitable foul with good grace and only muttered curses

Divine Inspiration Award – Ian Hopkins

Rev. Hopkins has this one all to himself, a recent convert to the Walking Football religion

Bradley Wiggins Award – Wayne Barrow

The fastest man on 2 wheels in the Club, sadly we do not play on cycles in Walking Football (hint is in the name)

Lynx no perspirant Award – Dave McCarthy

When Dave slips effortlessly into gear, he has been known to time his interventions to the micro-second. Dave has never felt the need to break sweat however.

Also Known as Award – Mick Machin

Mick or Burtonwood Mick as he’s also known spent 2 months known as Brian (despite there never being a Brian darken our doorstep) Name was finally confirmed as Burtonwood before he changed it by deed poll to Machin (allegedly)