Horizontal Hero Award – Dave ‘Grazer’ Clark
Finalist in Sick Note Award but clear winner in this category where his tackling technique “if in doubt fall over in front of your opponent” often pays dividends – hard earned nickname Grazer
Disappearing goalie of the Year – Derek Deggsy Taylor
Beaten twice in 2 minutes of his first outing between the sticks without being within 2 feet of either shot, do not think he is really a keeper
Mad Hatter Award – John Hawkins
Style icon and now star of Harry’s Razors social media campaign John is also an accomplished Blog writer and sometimes defender
Eye Candy Award – Chris Fitzpatrick
A clear leader in the ‘Capocannoniere’ award category but this ‘A Lister’ made the leap to social media eye candy superstardom by being selected by Harry’s Razors to front their campaign
Its my ball Award – Michaylo Fedyk
Despite not always managing to herd players into his team selection Mike has a happy knack of being on the winning side nevertheless
Fiscal Responsibility Award – Alex Greasy Thumbs Jackson
Despite enduring the toughest year in living memory Alex has always managed to extract ‘subs’ to take back to his hollowed-out volcano lair in Haydock
Best football shirt Award – Alan McKie
Alan has regularly shown all comers a clean pair of heels in this category with his obscure French Collection. Honourable mention goes to Geoff Painter but just the one Club does not really cut it!
Most honest player Category – Andy Houghton
Andy often uniquely owns up to rule infractions even when the referee misses the incident or is not really arsed anyway
Clearance of the Year – a joint award in 2020 – Gareth Clark and John Hawkins
Gareth who pinged a shot onto the adjacent running track or John who is also the sometime Thatto Heath Invader
Vodafone Mobile Phone Award – joint winners in 2020 – Tony Byrne and Colin Williams
Tony – I do not really do those new-fangled things
Colin - I might have a mobile phone or possibly not
Darren Anderton Sick Note Award – Peter Fitzpatrick
Peter just edged out the Grazer but had to go to the extreme of a knee replacement to seal it
Steve Pitt Fair Play Award – Ian Bridge
Ian was mystified twice in two weeks by controversial decisions but accepted both with good grace (possible audible utterances excepted)
Thankless Task Award – Steve Pitt
Steve stepped into the lion’s den and officiated without fear or favour. A BIG thank you, and referral to Specsavers Colour Blind Services
Danger to low-flying aircraft Award – Martin Williams
Martin’s uncompromising clearance technique sometimes poses a threat to nearby Speke Airport flight departures Mentioned in Blue Card Award Category too
Eric Bristow Award – Martin Briggs
Martin is now widely recognised as the consummate penalty king, despite the language barrier
Early leaver Award – Les Brack
Les often leaves our game early Is it because?
A. He is on a promise B. Desperately needs a pee
C. Watching a televised match. D. Setting next questions for WhatsApp Quiz
Ballet Splits Award – Tom Parr
Stretch Armstrong eat your heart out, Tom’s ability to read and stretch to cut off a pass reaches the other hemisphere at times
Camouflage Award – Joe Hardman
Like that United grey kit at the old Dell in 1996, Joe has an uncanny ability to blend into the crowd on the adjacent Sidac pitch
Lord of the Rings – Steve Forshaw
In my long career and involvement in football I have never known Ring Stopped Play, but Steve somehow temporarily lost his wedding ring during one game Unbelievable Geoff
Sussex County Cricket Club Award – David Trenner
David often sports a jaunty SCCC top during Monday morning games, a sight rarely seen north of Watford
Yoga for all Award – John Davies
John claims this award for unstinting work saving the hamstrings and groin muscles of all players Flexible and distressed walking footballers now synonymous words Clear winner of Moneyball
If at First, you do not succeed Award – Phil Middleton
Phil spent his early Ruskin sessions peppering the fence behind the net but then found the corner of the net with the most-deft touch imaginable. Pass the ball into the net, persistence pays!
Twinkle Toes Glitter Ball – John Eden
John can no longer make Wednesday night sessions due to other commitments watch out Anton!
Exocet Award – Lee Speight
Sherdley Park witnessed the fiercest shot in recorded history in July when Lee unleashed a screamer from half-way. The Referee did not have the heart to tell him it would not count!
WhatsApp Columnist Award – Jeff Birchall
Jeff occasionally wakes up at night to become a keyboard warrior with stinging remarks whilst the rest of the time his car makes more noise than he does!
5th Touch Award – Mike Harrison
Mike has a dazzling array of dribbling tricks that he displays on occasion, he has sometimes taken a 5th touch at these moments. He takes the inevitable foul with good grace and only muttered curses
Divine Inspiration Award – Ian Hopkins
Rev. Hopkins has this one all to himself, a recent convert to the Walking Football religion
Bradley Wiggins Award – Wayne Barrow
The fastest man on 2 wheels in the Club, sadly we do not play on cycles in Walking Football (hint is in the name)
Lynx no perspirant Award – Dave McCarthy
When Dave slips effortlessly into gear, he has been known to time his interventions to the micro-second. Dave has never felt the need to break sweat however.
Also Known as Award – Mick Machin
Mick or Burtonwood Mick as he’s also known spent 2 months known as Brian (despite there never being a Brian darken our doorstep) Name was finally confirmed as Burtonwood before he changed it by deed poll to Machin (allegedly)
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