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Don't touch me there* / Hold back the night*

A gentle reminder to all readers that clocks go back this weekend Depending on the team you support that could mean to; 6.00pm last Sunday, or 2013 or, 1987 or, even further back if ever at all - but SHWFC is a broad church so lets not dwell on that

British Summer Time was of course bought by Financial Fair Play FC in recent years so that's all right If you disagree they will threaten legal action and they've got exceedingly deep pockets

Numbers at Sutton on Wednesday were thinner on the ground due to a raft of injuries and unavailable players but 16 souls played two very competitive 4 a side games

The Soccer Dome hosted another red hot soft shoe shuffle featuring the following teams;

Blues: Alain, Disco Deggs, Speedo Mick & Lord Rainford

Orange: Steve Honeyman, Phil the Power, Steve Goldie and Joe the Ghost.


The match was overseen by the (mostly) benign presence of Les ‘Victor’ Brack, who used his own knowledge of football’s darker arts to whistle up anyone who was even thinking about transgressing the laws of Walking Football. Poacher turned Gamekeeper


Blues took an early 2 goal lead with Speedo once again amongst the goals but was then hampered by a coming together (ooh, matron!) with the Honeyman which left him nursing his left shoulder. Leads don’t last long in these games and there was a ping-pong of goals for either side, until, with 15 minutes to go, Blues eventually edged 2 goals ahead again to 4-2. It was then that the games main talking point occurred with Goldie rather enthusiastically making contact with Speedo’s injured shoulder; and Speedo being quite clear what he felt about this state of affairs!


All this contretemps rather unsettled Les Bleus and they soon found themselves 6-5 down as Phil once again peppered the hapless Blue net-minders and Blues early endeavours made them more leg weary.


Speedo Mick put aside his aches and pains, to score a worthy equaliser and once again entered the Club Hall of Fame with 4 goals. By now both teams were dead on their feet and a bit of gratuitous time wasting by Blues by the corner flag ensured that honours remained even. Speedo and Goldie kissed and made up (ok; just made up) handshakes and back slaps all round


Meanwhile on the AstroTurf wildlands the weather proved no issue for the wrecking crew of outdoor walking footballers There was a delay to the start as Ian B and Gary were prised away from their indoor comfort blankets and added to the outdoor assembly The delay enabled Gaz to confer with Gonzalo to rearrange the pitch to better suit the numbers available

When played did get underway the teams were;

Reds - El Presidente, Tom, Gaz and Cockney Rebel

Black - Ian B, Rev Ian H, Gary and Chopper


With benefit of hindsight there could well have been a better balanced selection but that's hindsight for you Reds started in fine style with their more defensive lineup playing well and finding very effective triangular patterns to turn defence into attack Tom linked play cleverly with El Presidente prompting from a deeper position with Gaz and Cockney Rebel taking wider routes to progress 2 Goals by Gaz seemed to offer Reds a hope for a good result But Gary blasted that notion with a goal just prior to the end of the fits period 2-1 to Reds at the water break


Within minutes of the restart the Blacks had worked out a method to turn the game on its head This mostly involved allowing Reds to pile forward and then recycle the ball quickly forward to utilise the pace of Ian B, Rev Ian H and Gary 2-1 down was quickly 4-2 up The lead was maintained and then eased with further goals Try as they undoubtedly did Reds could only draw level at 4-4 before surrendering to trail 6-4 at the final break


The last period witnessed the last hurrah for Reds as the pace finally ended their chances of a surprise result Black counter attacked with deadly accuracy to claim victory 11-6

Gonzalo enjoyed comfortable night as Referee indeed he was so quiet that El Presidente did enquire if he was watching at all at one point In fairness this was a superb effort from the outdoor warriors played in benign conditions and with great sportsmanship displayed all round


Don't touch me there* The Tubes

Hold back the night* The Trammps



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