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Disco Deggs, DOGSO Ghost and Goals Galore

Updated: Oct 2, 2021

On a night of nail biting finishes Wednesday's Sutton session had it all Our second week of separate pitches (and surfaces) posed little problem to our brave boys Coach Davies quickly identified those who wished to strut their stuff indoors, whilst Heavy Metal duo Gaz and Gonzalo led the hardy boys out to the AstroTurf badlands

The outside warm up conducted by Gaz was a hardcore boot camp session Grown men cried women and children nearby gasped in shock Meanwhile Gonzalo marked out the pitch with the blood of a sacrificial offering and dealt out the bibs with equal abandon

Inside the chaps were shocked by the appearance of Herr Pitt who elected to test his indoor copy of Mein Kampf (WFA Rules) After a swift warm up by Coach Davies the games were underway

The indoor game provided a goal-fest of epic proportions as Oranges managed to stay ahead outscoring Blues to the score of 9-6.

Coach Davies picked two evenly matched sides with

Blues - Thatto Dave, Disco Deggsy, Alain, Les and Coach

Oranges; Ian B, Speedo Mick, Joe the Ghost, Steve Honeyman and Lord Rainford.

Let’s face it with a score of 9-6 if you are expecting a blow-by-blow account with details of all individual scorers, dear reader, then tough! So we’ll pick out Wednesday night’s indoor movers and shakers in a hot and sweaty Sutton SoccerDome:-

Disco Deggsy took the opportunity to Strut His Funky Stuff (Sho’ ‘Nuff) bagging the majority of Blues goals to earn another Hall of Fame entry. He did at one point sprawl Upside Down after some defensive attentions from Lord R; but in typical DD fashion as soon as he realised Herr Pitt was unmoved and was not going to award yet another penalty (see below) it was clear He Would Survive.

Speedo Mick was the 2nd Hall of Fame entry and did replicate the Dancing Queen for Oranges, with 5 goals including some exquisite finishes. Just as well as the diminutive bluenose also gave away two penalties for encroachment and didn’t have his best night in goal.

Ah yes, the penalties. Steve Pitt, emboldened by his England call up, channeled his inner Kelvin Morton (*) and awarded THREE penalties against the Oranges, Blues fortunately converted only one As well as those, he also spotted a further penalty area encroachment by Speedo which he didn’t give, claiming no one else had seen. [Actually, your scribe did see it, but being on the same side as Mick, stayed quiet. I’m all for honesty in walking football but after 3 penalties already, there are limits !!]

We now come to the triumvirate of Les, Alain and Coach Davies; who are finding the hothouse of indoors much more to their liking and have featured prominently in both indoor sessions, with a range of passing and skills that have at times been lost in the great outdoors.

Final namechecks must go to Thatto Dave for his first game indoors with a fine display of keeping (except when facing Mick !) and Joe the Ghost, whose exquisite nicking of the ball from Les was sadly ruled a tackle from behind by our ref. Who not only awarded a pen (missed!) but sent Joe to the sin-bin for two minutes for Denying an Opponent in a Goal Scoring Opportunity (DOGSO in refereeing parlance) For his sin Joe Ghosted into the Hall of Fame, the night's 3rd entrant

As Disco Deggs would probably have said, Oh, What A Night!!

The Outdoor session was a thrilling spectacle too with 14 combatants and 13 goals

The teams were;

Yellow - El Presidente, Gaz, Rev Ian H, Gonzalo, Rory (returning to the fray after helping police with their enquiries), Tom and Jeff Betty (just to point out Rory is a Policeman happy to clear that up!)

Blues; Chopper, Grav, Gary, Grazer, Phil, Cockney Rebel and Mark

The Yellows settled well and quickly asserted a 4-0 lead, a Gonzalo hat trick and delicious curling effort from Tom At this point and in the spirit of fair play Gonzalo and Grazer swopped sides to ensure a more balanced game In return Yellow surrendered their score line advantage too 4-2 in the blink of an eye Half Time and 4-2 to the Neon Assassins

The second half was a truly end to end affair with Yellows just keeping their noses ahead though Blues were always in the contest. Goals rained in from both sides. Its easy to forget in the rush to record each and every scorer just how good the exceptional quality of play was and how so much better than any puny indoor attempt to steal a headline or two (checks notes - bitchy)

Lets say that everyone enjoyed the match, Gonzalo was perhaps robbed of a new goal scoring record (having netted a hat trick in a mere 3 minutes) but he will unquestionably net again Yellow scorers included Gaz, Rev Ian H, Tom and Jeff Meanwhile Blues scorers included Grav, Gary, Phil and Mark with 2.

As the St Trinians Hockey Team swarmed the near end corner, play was brought to a halt with Yellow claiming a hard earned 7-6 victory

* ex Football League Ref. Once awarded 5 penalties in a Brighton v Palace match. Over the course of 27 minutes!

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