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Call It Stormy Wednesday*

Updated: Aug 3, 2023

“Ian ruined that game” said Cockney Rebel as he entered the changing rooms at Sutton at just after 8 on Wednesday evening.


Looks of bemusement appeared on the faces of those also shedding their sweaty kit who, unlike CR, had been playing inside. Had Ian Bridge (owner of the fiercest left foot in SHWFC) stunned an innocent bystander with one of his piledrivers? Had Ian H (aka the Vicar of Dibley; and, at times,the footballing epitome of The Church Militant) somewhat liberally interpreted the ‘no physical contact rule’ we try and adhere to?


“No” explained Martin Briggs (for Cockney Rebel is he!). “Hurricane Ian. It chucked it down!”


And there you have the main talking point for over half of SHWFC’s Wednesday players, who after separation of the wheat from the chaff, (Ok, I’ll try and reign in the religious references, that’s two blogs in a row now) chose to play outside. Such were the torrents of rain that greeted them as they walked across to the 3G pitch that for 15 minutes those brave souls huddled in the changing rooms by the pitchwaiting for some break in the downpour. Realising this wasn’t going to happen two teams were picked as follows: -


Soaking Satsumas (and one Pink!): Tom D, Paul P, Liz, Sharon, Jeff (also reffing) Neil, Mark, Jill and Gaz.


Gushing Greens: - Haggis, Dave B, Little John, Cockney R, Eamon, Norman, Deano and Martin


Dispensing with niceties such as cones marking a penalty area (they would probably have just floated away) both teams got stuck in. A rule was introduced about not shooting past the white line which has led to various accounts of what the score was. But in view of the bravery shown by both teams 0-0 will go down in the history of SHWFC as a fair record! The night was hampered even more by injuries to both Liz and Jill; and also to ref Jeff B whose tender parts came into contact with an Eamon clearance. I’m sure it was unintentional…….


And that’s it for outside. Numerous references to the type of swimming stroke used by players were later reported on WhatsApp; but as these started to get a bit risqué, I will not repeat them. And then the Weather Gods being their usual mischievous selves, just as the match finished at 20:00…..itstopped raining!


And now to less tempestuous matters inside where, in view of the numbers now turning up at Sutton, we had 3 teams of 5/6. Every team got 4 matches with changes round every 10 minutes or so and with one of the non-players reffing each game. Lining up we had: -


Red: Grav, Nigel, Les, Meldrew, Lee and Chris 4G


Blue: Tom ‘Stretch Parr, Dave G, Ray, Andy Man and Phil the Power.


Black: Disco Degs, Debutant Laura, Michelle, Joe the Ghost, Thatto Dave & Lord Rainford.


All games were tight affairs and pretty evenly matched as you will see: -


Black 2 v 1 Blue

Black 0 v 1 Red

Blue 0 v 0 Red

Black 0 v 2 Blue

Black 1 v 0 Red

Blue 2 v 1 Red


Some highlights: -

• Two excellent finishes by Ray in the last game to put Bluestop of the table after their slow start

• It would have been 3-1 in that game but for Disco D rightfully penalising Tom Parr for running as he blasted a shot past the hapless Lord R

• Can’t remember a night when as many shots hit a post. Those plastic nets must be feeling hr pain

• Good first outing for Laura. Fear not, you’ll soon get used to the rules!

• Some fine no nonsense defending from Nigel on his return back after work commitments

• Fine goal by the Joe the Ghost eventually beating Tom P who seems to be able to block most shots with those long arms and legs of his.

• 6 a side is hard on such a small pitch; but there was some excellent football played in good spirit, well done everyone.


And finally, going back to the bedraggled ones outside, well played to all who took part. Just goes to show the love of walking football that we have in SHWFC means that not even Hurricane Ian can put us off our stroke….err….stride.


(* T-Bone Walker. Actually Stormy Monday is the title, but………..)

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