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Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That*

Every Club, Organisation or Group faces problems from time to time Its how we learn, grow and develop The stuff that sets us apart as bigger better and more grown up than others Challenges are the little tests of maturity and how we cope with these ultimately determine how we grow

So a regular Monday morning meander in very pleasant conditions at Ruskin Sports Village should be routine fare for a Club 8 years in the making with a healthy membership and reputation for inclusion and outstanding sportsmanship But for once we lost our way and instead of harmony and smiling faces we were treated to scowling muttering profanities and discord

A reminder that All our Referees are unpaid volunteers, doing their best to give players the chance to play Walking Football

That's Walking Football - no variants around the word 'Walking' can be allowed or tolerated

As a Club we support our Referees

No abuse or dissent towards these self less individuals can be accepted

Oh and by way of a distraction there was a great deal of very good football played too!

A bright morning greeted a return of a number of players with 31 creating between 2 and 4 moving lines as the selections were attempted Standing in one line for a few moments isn't so difficult really yet we are rarely afforded that opportunity

Referees for the session were Les Lomax WFA Senior Official, Tony Kenny returning to the fold after a summer break and Eamon O'Hooligan who graciously stepped in as the team numbers would have been skewed otherwise His decision to volunteer would turn and bite on the ass later but I'm giving the plot away

The teams were selected, then sliced and diced in the following playing order Photos were taken but some players were moved on in a deadline day frenzy to help balance the line ups, so apologies if there's little resemblance to the original design Patience still provides the best opportunity to get it right

Orange - Mark NR, Tom Stretch, Margaret (not wise to stand next to To. In team photo but only afterwards is that apparent) Clint, Mick McSpeed and Wickie

Sky - Andy Zac, Citeh Geoff, Phil the Moss, Kenny, Haggis and Thatto Dave

Pink - Les, Julie, Willo, Les Hewitt, Roger and Gonzalo

Yellow - Chris K, Enoch, Paul J, Anita, Eileen and Phil the Power

Black - Paul F, Chopper, Grav, Barry Wizz, Tony Snakehips and Liz

Purple - Sheila, Mika, Donal, Tomo, Steve Honeyman and Kirsty

Jeff Betty, our Club Referee Liaison, has been the subject of knee surgery over the weekend so we are a little short on game information (never mattered before)

Ref Les Lomax presided over a series of exceedingly fine games but most memorable was an incident from Sky v Pink With a Sky player on the edge of the arc and ready to shoot, Mr Meldrew decided to intervene at some considerable pace (running less politely) Adding injury to insult Meldrew pounced on the unsuspecting victim with an illegal tackle from behind Ref Les decided that as Meldrew was the Moneyman discretion might mitigate the clear DOGSO (denial of goal scoring opportunity) to a penalty as sufficient punishment This is sure to be the subject of blind rage in Wednesday's Post Match Analysis in the fabled Boot Room Sadly we are unable to take retrospective action against the offender but a more suitable punishment (paying Subs in £3 worth of small value coins) is sure to follow We do acknowledge that Meldrew will ignore the inconvenience as all money is acceptable But the point is made

Phil the Moss filled his boots with a goal Dave was on target too 2-0 Sky beating Pink so there!

Less controversial was the return of Tony Kenny to the whistle His first match featured Sky and Orange with Sky pipping the citrus Thatto Dave sealing the narrow 1-0 victory after his return from Summer long Tanning Salon duties

In match 2 Sky eclipsed the Yellow with Phil the Moss claiming the match ball (try getting one though) with a hat trick Andy Zac found the net too, with Grav claiming the consolation goal for Yellow

There was a seven goal thriller between Purple and Yellow in the bruise coloured Derby A brace each for Purple's Steve Honeyman and Donal In reply a brace for Paul Jennings and singleton for Grav took the game close but no cigar Purple prevailing 4-3 a classic game with loads of goals and hardly any thought for defending (Sacrilege)

Elsewhere we had reports of a Gonzalo goal kick-starting Pink with a 1-0 win over Purple Purple and Black ended all square 1-1 with the Honeyman and Barry Wizz claiming a goal apiece Mayhem followed with Eamon having shown remarkable constraint eventually deciding he would be better withdrawing his services Black indiscipline ruining the game with Yellow and thereafter dominating the morning's discussions

We expect 2 apologies to Eamon at the earliest opportunity

A final reminder that whether we agree or disagree the Referee's decision is the only one that matters As someone who has endured many one way conversations with Referees over the years I can atest that players make mistakes much more regularly

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That* - Brothers Osborne

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