Our thanks to Lord Rainford our esteemed Secretary for this week’s Blog title suggestion Not one but two versions of the title, and two different tunes into the bargain One by Brenda Taylor a very Disco/Funky track on the West End label
And one from Lela Martin and the Soul Providers a real floor-filling Northern Soul stomper
We are educated and obliged M’Lord
Meanwhile in Walking Football land the very first Monday morning Ruskin Sports Village session of 2025 finally got underway with a goodly crowd of people in attendance How goodly is goodly? Slightly more than biggly we think or 30+ in old money
Before play could start we were faced with a unnecessarily long pause for access to the PSD Rental Stadium (this week’s new title) pitch to set up As Treasurer Les Meldrew Brack was otherwise occupied, Phil the Power stepped in to relieve members of their cash Elsewhere Football Manager Andy Man(anger) warmed his charges and made tough choices for the day’s teams
In very chilly conditions any delay was a needless imposition Words will be had on high
The eventual division of Labour went along the following lines;
Orange - Tomo back after another international break, Gaz, Cockney Rebel, Tony W, Sheila (who enjoyed it so much she paid twice) and Andy Man
Purple Pacemakers - McSpeed, Aldo, Citeh Geoff, Les H, Eileen and PaulF
Yellow - (no fuss all action)Enoch, Brian, Mark NR, Kirsty and Donal
Black - (no action all fuss) Robin, Chris Gilmost (or more), Margaret, Willo (with exhaustive list of celebrity passengers) and Gonzalo
Sky - Snakehips (moving slowly ever-nearer another Birthday), Phil the Power, Amazon Prime, Little John and Haggis
Pink - El Presidente, Tom Mc, Chris K, Gary Wilkins (after holiday, injury & fanatic devotion to Winstanley Walkers) and Barry Wizz
The two six strong teams Orange and Purple faced off under the steely eye of YTS Referee Eamon Things will soon be even steelier once he’s completed his FA Referee training course next week!
WFA Qualified Referee Jeff Betty meddled in the Black and Yellow game with his usual mixture of tact and diplomacy Pink and Sky blissfully played each other without the need for a formal referee Phil the Power and El Presidente occasionally smoothing things over if required (in truth they rarely were called upon)
In the Sky v Pink game the opening exchanges were all about passing and possession Pink moved the ball around with great purpose Sky on the back foot and soon trailing to goals by Gary, Tom Mc and Barry Wizz In the Pink defence El Presidente, making a return after a couple of months breathing difficulties, blocked and intercepted most Sky forward forays With half time close and the 4-0 threshold reached there was an agreed intervention that saw Haggis switch with Gary That tricky dilemma resolved Sky posed more of a threat after the break The final score 7-3 justified the large fee paid for the mid-match tweak Pink always on top but in the second period being worked much harder for their victory Gary recorded goals for each team
Black shaded a close game against Yellow with Gonzalo claiming two and then conceding an own goal in a match watched by Lord Rainford and refereed by Jeff Betty Play was described as very fluid Great passing and movement into space “impressive stuff”
Orange and Purple was another close affair Cockney Rebel found the net for the Citrus Crushers but Purple pillaged three goals to squeeze home by 3 goals to 1 Aldo, McSpeed and Les Hewitt the Purple plunderers
There was as predicted a deluge of cake in the sumptuous Slipper Salon satellite room, the Salon proper occupied by a flotilla of Mums and Prams With the monopoly of Learner Driver cars littering the main car park, our writer ponders if the Ruskin hierarchy has tapped into a couple of left-field income sources for Mondays?
There was an outrageous amount of reasonable weather evident on Wednesday which meant that there was little excuse for members to miss turning out either indoors or outdoors for our midweek Sutton SoccerDome session
Prior to the start of the session El Presidente unveiled a plaque that had been sent from Greg Waters and his friends at Millon Ironworks Walkers to commerate the 10th Anniversary of our Club One of the Millom members had produced the plaque as a token of friendship between the Clubs in thanks for welcoming Greg Waters as our Guest in last Wednesday’s Sutton session The gesture was graciously received and we relay our gratitude to all at Millom

The night’s football was a real mystery mixture of good and bad Some excellent football littered with some atrocious play The indoor match fell way below the level of performance we’ve come to expect but more of that later
There’s much anticipation that outdoor Walking Football could be on for a second week, as the players stretched and pirouetted in their warm up routine
The teams were;
Orange - Little John, Deano, Graham, Haggis, Ian H, Peter T, Benno and Eamon
Yellow - Neil Stretch, Les H, Chris 4G, Andy Man, Steve C, Gaz, Kirsty and Steve Smith
Referee was that hardy annual JeffBetty who relied on several layers of protective garments to ward off the cold The game was a great example, Sutton’s AstroTurf speedy surface meant both sides were intent on playing expansive football if for no other reason than to stay warm Eamon scored the opener, it was 1-1 at the break With 45 minutes played it was 2-2 but Orange then took a collective foot off the gas Yellow took full advantage to score almost at will thereafter Hat tricks by Steves’ Carine and Smith plus goals by Andy and Gaz all found the net
The margin of victory 8-2 was by the end fairly routine Whatever happened to the Orange rearguard we might never know
Indoors the contest started brightly before descending into the realms of darkness late in the session
The teams were;
Red - Disco Deggs, Les Meldrew, Grav, Citeh Geoff and Phil the Power
Blue - Colin the Late, Enoch, Joe the Ghost, Cockney Rebel and Spiro
Cockney Rebel found the opener for Blue after 10 minutes, earlier Deggs wasted a penalty chance to hand Red the lead This would turn out to be as good as it got for Blue as a they collectively abandoned any pretence of defensive responsibility to instead go gung-ho
Les Meldrew wasted another chance from a second spot kick Blue clinging on to their narrow lead
Red undeterred then found their range with a string of goals that took the game away from Blue The game was a poor advert for the game as too often Red carved the reluctant Blue defence to shreds At 4-1 to Red, there was a switch that took Deggs and Spiro in opposite directions In truth this made little material difference to the contest so an additional switch was attempted with Grav and Joe the Ghost switching sides There were too many players guilty of running, so play was frantic and scrappy with the ball ricocheting about
Despite repeated warnings to slow down one individual ignored the advise and instead became ever-more petulant An inevitable spell on the naughty step came after disputing a clear and potentially dangerous push in the back of an opponent
The Red goals came at regular intervals with Grav, Deggs, Meldrew and Phil the Power all cashing in as Blue capitulated
Blue persisted with attempting long hopeful passing rather than shorter crisp passes to keep possession Too often lost possession left 2 or 3 Blue players stranded on the wrong side of the ball unable to prevent Red from scoring It was after so many weeks of decent teamwork a depressing situation that must have been awful to play through
Short passing, team moving in unison - not difficult to achieve but so effective when the opposition is dispirited
The game eventually finished with Blue a man light, though ironically their play when down to four players was much more compact and tidy Last moment of comedy gold was a scooped shot from Cockney Rebel that cleared the crossbar hit the wall behind and crashed on to the back of Phil the Power’s head A game to forget, much too frantic little quality evident throughout 7-2 Red’s win slightly hollow
We have a number of our Refs under-going a new FA Referee Training Course on Monday so our Monday morning Ruskin session might be a little disrupted The cake will make up for that no doubt
You Can’t Have Your Cake (and Eat It Too)*
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