The Entertainer*
- St Helens Walking Football
- Jun 27
- 6 min read
At the risk of sounding pretentious (moi?) Our Club has been consistently reaching new heights of late (not just because of the introduction of extremely tall members but because of the quality of games The assuredness of accurate passing and energy of support play has produced some classic Walking Football for all The less technically gifted are raising their games with the encouragement and support of their team mates Much praise should be heaped on Football Manager Andy who continues to produce excellent games because of his astute selection
The growth of our membership has been another very pleasing aspect Last weekend 4 newbies signed their lives away to take up the challenge of WF We can now boast membership numbers of 125 or so Treasurer Les Meldrew has never rubbed his hands in delight at the thought so often
To all members a heartfelt thank you
Monday morning and another week under way with the Ruskin Sports Village stroll The beneficial effects of a dry hour or two helped to boost numbers with the unplanned but welcome arrival of Lee Girvan to make an impressive debut
The teams selected were;
Red - Cornelius, McSpeed, Trish, Les H, Mark NR & Ashy
Black - Eamon, Colin, Roger, Eileen, Mike Bates & Mike Thomo
Blue - Barry Wizz, Dave Robbo, Simon, Triallist, Snakehips & Margaret
Old Gold (kit cockup) - Haggis, Andy Man, Cockney Rebel, Tom Stretch, Honeyman & Sheila
Purple - Phil the Cat, Lewis, Wickie, Lee Girvan, PaulF & Tomo
Green - Meldrew, Gonzalo, Enoch, Little John, Lord Rainford & Roy
Refereeing duties were undertaken by that fabulous collective Jeff Betty, El Presidente and dynamic duo Phil the Power & Lord Rainford
We offer a joint report on the Purple v Green match by said duo…
“In the game I reffed half of before John took over the score was
Purple 2 v Green 2
Jill Tomo got 2 for Purple and Green’s 2 scorers were Gonzalo and Lord Rainford”
Lord Rainford continues…
“Green v Purple finished 5-5. Debutant Lee got a 2nd half hat trick for Purple but I did have to give a penalty against him when he was in goal for coming out of his area. I'm afraid the cries of
its his first game, he didn't know. left me unmoved as it was a clear DOGSO and it wasn't just a foot out of the box, he was quite a way out. He took the decision in good part. Roy converted the penalty for Green and added another, and Gonzalo also scored a second for Green
It was a very even game with the lead changing hands constantly. Best goal (apart from my Sussex sweep obvs.) was Tomo's first for Purple a fierce shot from some distance which found the top corner.
Mostly played in good spirits and humour, the usual suspects (both in Green) tried a bit of amateur refereeing but the combined might and authority of Phil the Power and Lord Rainford were not to be swayed”
Jeff Betty made a dramatic last gasp entrance as is his style these days He then proceeded to referee in his usual calm under stated manner but couldn’t resist to join in play when he nobbled Tom Stretch in an unsavoury off the ball incident
He offers the following insight to the session
“Pitch B Game 1
Black 4 v 0 Blue
Black were given too much space which they gratefully took advantage of with some neat passing cutting through a weak Blue rearguard
Mike Bates got a deserved hat-trick and Eamon got the other for Blue
The game was enjoyable and played in good spirits The highlight of the game was Eileen’s perfect lay off to Mike for his first goal.
Game 2
Black 3 v 0 Old Gold (tarnished with some green and lemon)
Black again with some slick passing movements carved through the Old Gold defence on numerous occasions. The main problem for Old Gold was an absence of numbers in defence at times (Gung Ho), and some squandering of chances when they came along
Eamon not to be out - done by strike partner Mike claimed a hat trick in this game. Unfortunately Tom Stretch had to retire with a hamstring knack ( hopefully not too bad and just needing a longer recovery time to heal ). I replaced Tom in my (getting to be a bit of a habit) role of player/Ref which didn’t help the Old Gold cause in any way It was another enjoyable game played in good spirits by all involved”
The remaining matches featured Old Gold and Red On paper a very even affair, but in real time proved to be a comfortable win for Old Gold thanks to two excellent goals by Andy Man Their Red opponents had chances and plenty of possession but it’s goals that win matches 2-0 Old Gold victors with organisation and energy that Red couldn’t match
Blue faced Red in the final game with McSpeed setting Red on course with a great strike 1-0 Trish claimed the second Red goal with a deft finish Dave Robbo and Simon hit back with two Blue goals to ignite the contest 2-2 and well poised for a great finale McSpeed fired home before Mark NR sealed the win as Red pulled clear to record a 4-2 victory Miserable results for Blue losing both games to surprise the odds, on paper a decent line up, on AstroTurf a different proposition
Wednesday’s Sutton SoccerDome session turned out to be a high octane affair with loads of goals and predictably so with many of the Club’s top marksmen (and women) taking centre stage
The teams were;
Pink - Simon, Mike Thomo, Ian Hilton, Kirsty, Gonzalo, Eamon & Phil the Power
Black - Paul Cott, Haggis, Meldrew, Doug, Chris 4G, Ian Harding & Steve Smith
Yellow - Little John, Deano, Cornelius, Andy Man, GRAV, S Carine & Midweek Michelle
Red - PJ, Deggs, Joe the zghost, Eileen, Roger, Cockney Rebel and Les H Jason made a late appearance in perhaps the biggest surprise of the night
El Presidente presided over the game with his usual gusto, what whistle? Red took the lead when Deggs latched on to a great through ball to steer the ball home Good finish, from one of Red’s dynamic duo Sadly his strike partner Joe the Ghost was over shadowed as the pair had a running comedy act of blaming each other, without either truly understanding what his partner had said Steve Carine fired an equaliser the first of five goals 1-1 and play ebbing from end to end in great style There was a purebred exchange of passes that opened up the Yellow defence for Deggs to claim his second superb strike of the night For once he passed the ball into the bottom corner rather than trying to kill the ball with big toe power 2-1 Yellow on top That goal would be the high water mark for Yellow took over from that point finding gaps in the Red rearguard with regular ease Steve Carine added the equaliser and then his third Red wripped apart Deano stretched the advantage with goals 4 and 5 before Carine hit 6 and 7
The final 7-2 rampage was a testimony to great passing and support play Yellow despite the numerical advantage were second best to the ball too often and wasteful when they did find some rhythm Fabulous game to be a Yellow, Red must do better but full marks for effort
The night’s other game was refereed (and later joined in) by our Senior Referee Herr Jeff Betty of er …St Helens He takes up the story
“ Black 2 v 6 Pink
Pink - Gonzalo 3, Ian Hilton 2 & Mike Thomo
Black replied thanks to Ian Harding & Steve Smith
It was actually a good close game football wise but Black didn’t defend in numbers as Pink did and consequently Black struggled to convert their few chances
The half time score 5-0 to Pink There was a concerted Black Ops effort in thecSecond stanza but too little too late”
Let it never be said we don’t entertain
The Entertainer* - Same title 3 different songs Scott Joplin, Tony Clarke and Billy Joel
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