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Tangled up in Blue*

Updated: Jun 21, 2022

The opening of the transfer window and the Chairman's wallet sparked a huge influx of new talent to Wednesday night's Sutton Session this week Once upon a time we used to blunder Burtonwood for new blood but with our new hard won sovereignty and tighter border controls we've found rich pickings in Whiston to continue the Club's relentless march to sporting infamy

Five Whistonians joined our ranks last night accompanied by a Scouse exile to Warrington (we are a broad church in Cheshire) with Darron Walley the token RS to join with; Deano Cureton, David Babylon Gray, Stan Aspinall, Dave Bates (a problem right there explanation to follow) and Norman Ball - most of the Whistonians sported the Everton Blue colour but it was revealed today that Dave Bates is also a RS. The major issue is not of course the team supported but rather that our recent scouting has uncovered a Mike Bates (since christened Norman) so Dave Bates can't be Norman or anything hotel related So maybe we will leave the downright rude and obvious and throw it open to the membership to come up with a printable nickname A major prize (not Port obviously) for the winner (though our Ladies might not want any Harrys' products) I will think of something suitable for the winning bright spark

And so to the action - 26 players plus El Presidente refereeing in his Orange Harrys shirt ( so not the Whites v Orange game but instead Blues v Yellow and Coach refereeing in a emh white shirt soon to be swapped for a natty Pink number officiated the other game (White v Orange)

For the record Blue and Yellow was a 6 a side feast whilst White v Orange was a 7 v 7 shoot out

The teams were;

White - Chris Gonzalo Fitz, Joe the Ghost, Harry Haggis, Martin Cockney Rebel Briggs, Darron Walley (excellent debut), Dave Bates and Steve Honeyman

Orange - John Lord Rainford Hawkins, Chris 4G, Stan, Norman (the real one), Tom Stretch Parr, Thatto Dave Barrow and Mike Ox Oxley


Blues - Les V. Meldrew Brack, Paul Porter, Tony Snakehips, Mick Speedo Makin, Mark Davies (no relation) and David babylon Gray

Yellows - Steve Ford, Phil the Power, Sharon, Deano Cureton, Gary Griffiths and Disco Deggs


The early action was all action with the referee frequently reminding the cast of thousands that it was indeed WALKING FOOTBALL (in a shouty voice) Blues took the evenings opening goal with smart finish by Mark Davies (still no relation) A fine drive to grab the game by the scruff of the neck (if only) Steve Ford hit back instantly and then set up Deano to propel Yellows into a dominant position they rarely looked like losing Steve then grabbed his second goal and it was 3-1 Sharon patrolling the midfield with great authority had her best game so far (she's not had a poor one yet) Les needed to be at his best to stem the tide of attacks helped by a good shift from Paul Porter Paul was helpless to prevent a spectacular shot from Gary Griffiths dropping over his head from his attempt to parry 4-1 Yellow Then on the stroke of half time Deggs produced an excellent pass (probably a shot) from a free kick and Phil stroked home 5-1

In the game on the adjacent pitch Orange and White switched leads several times in a fine match (watched on just fleeting occasions by E I Addio your roving sports reporter)

At the first break we learnt that Orange had a narrow 2-1 lead recovering from a 1 goal deficit thanks goals by Norman and Mike Ox Joe the Ghost had claimed the game's first strike for White By the next water break the score had a different complexion White steaming 4-2 ahead with Gonzalo and Joe with a hat trick

Play resumed in the Blue and Yellow match with Steve Ford notching a well earned hat trick after his return from injury, holiday and MOT Regular readers will realise that Disco Deggs is never far from the action, however on this occasion he ominously miles from his goal to concede a walk about goal from Dave Babylon Gray 2-6 Was the big comeback really on? Blues enjoyed a good spell of possession but lacked the pass accuracy and energy to mount a serious threat to the score line In contrast Yellow always seemed in control and their link up play was a factor all game The match was wrapped up by a Deggs big toe following some great approach work by Sharon and Deano 7-2 the final result

White held a healthy 4-2 lead going into the final segment of play in the other match but were undone by a combination of good fortune and poor keeping Whilst Lord Rainford was happy to launch salvos of clearances towards Whiston In contrast White were exposed at the back With Tom Stretch an increasingly effective force in the middle Mike Ox completed a hat trick with Tom Stretch Parr creating his own chance to grab victory White were always in the hunt but were made to pay for Haggis's lack of keeping experience at the death Orange winning by the narrowest of margins in a 9 goal thriller

At the end of play El Presidente explained that the Refereeing was a tad over zealous to ensure that everyone was fully immersed in the rules of the game Its better to be given the harshest introduction to the vagaries of the game at the earliest moment than to be allowed to lapse into other footballing disciplines It is Walking Football not Vets or 5 a side Rules created for the safety and enjoyment of all Even our bad boys can understand that distinction

So an enjoyable feast of football played with a smile on faces and in a sporting manner

See you next week


Tangled up in Blue* - Bob Dylan


Our Over 65s will meet Old Brunswick in the North West (west) regional final of the WFA National Cup - news of date and venue to follow

Good Luck to El Presidente who is playing for Ireland Over 70s in Dublin this Saturday 18th June Tournament at Abbotstown National Sports Campus features games against England Wales Isle of Man and Republic of Ireland

Our first Full International Representative

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