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For SHWFC members the last week has been extraordinary even by our often bizarre standards

The long anticipated 10th Anniversary Celebration night went off largely to plan with only a few members unable to attend, mostly due to family holiday commitments The Beardie Folk Festival (is this real? - Editor) took out three of our regulars but undeterred our event was otherwise well attended with a bevy of Dignitaries present to acknowledge civic pride in our Club

The Lord Lieutenant of Merseyside plus two Mayors were pressed into action to make presentations to notable people We learned that MP David Baines was delayed by a train issue undaunted WFA International Ref Steve Pitt stepped into the breach to make a presentation to Anita (accepting on behalf of Tom ‘Stretch’ Parr) though at one stage he did appear hellbent on accepting the trophy to …er himself Seven of our longest serving members were awarded trophies rather than testimonials, with Treasurer Meldrew (away on a hush hush mission) breathed a metaphorical sigh sigh of relief

A few photographs are offered below to mark the occasion

Saturday’s mirky weather, warm but cloudy, did not inconvenience the dozen or so participants in our Annual Bowls beano Coach John Davies provided the venue as before with the Green at Haydock Cricket Club (Bowling not Cricket) in decent condition considering the lack of rain in the past month El Presidente made a late appearance to catch up John and our bowlers Dave Grazer Clark showed his most recent injury (foot) has not affected his crown Green mastery Mika and Little John looked totally at home with the ‘woods’ Others looked totally at sea with the ‘finger or thumb’ myths Thatto Dave, another bowling bandit was conspicuous with his absence for once

Some photographic evidence is provided below (so the boys can show their other halves their excuses for missing Saturdays afternoon shopping excursions

Monday morning beckoned a new week with the Ruskin Sports Village session resplendent A good turnout and selection problems for Football Manager Andy Man The eventual problem solved with the following teams lining up to enjoy the matches ahead

Those teams were;

Yellow - Cockney Rebel, Donal, Lefty Bridge, Barry Wizz, Ashy and Gary

Purple - Phil the Power, Colin the Late, Geoff P, McSpeed, Mark NR and Jenko

Pink - PaulF, Aldo, Mike, Les H, Little John and Grav

Sky - Citeh Geoff, Mike B, Steve J, Robin, Gonzalo and Les Meldrew

Neon - Steve Honeyman, Andy Man, Chopper, Phil the Cat, Harry the Hatchet and Chris K

Black - Tracy, Wickie, Phil the Moss, Brian, Snakehips and Mike Thomo

Once the initial shock of discovering we would have just 2 of our qualified referees available a cunning plan was devised to simply ignore one game entirely, until at least half time In truth they were trusted to administer their own decisions or give in to the most forceful voices ( not recommended)

Pitch one fell under the spell of Eamon O’Hooligan with El Presidente in the parallel universe (Pitch two) on the adjacent acres

Sky played Neon in Eamon’s first test Goals by Mike Bates, Gonzalo and Steve Jones accounted for Neon 3-0 then and a good start by (on paper at least) a very strong Sky selection

In their second game the same lethal strike force put Purple to the metaphoric sword Mike and Gonzalo each with a brace and Steve Jones sealing an emphatic result Purple did hit back thanks to McSpeed with Geoff P adding a second to give an air of respectability to the overall 5-2 score line

El Presidente ran his weathered eye over the proceedings between Black and Pink on pitch 2 This was a tight game with plenty of good football and some appalling lapses of error strewn passing The adherence to not walking rules kept a cautious hold on the pace of the game It was a penalty that finally decided the outcome, not from a run too many but instead from a stray wander into the area when defending deep Mike Thompson tucked away his spot kick and that was the solitary goal 1-0 Black easing to a hard fought win in an excellent contest

The second game was another tight affair with Black pitched against Neon the morning’s two unbeaten teams Tracy produced a fine performance for Black between the posts as keeper but Alofi in front of goal with two goals in a superb 4-3 match Steve Honeyman also claimed a brace for Neon with Phil Moss and Chris Kelsall among the scorers Time ran out finally with Tracy’s second goal the difference

No news from Yellow and Pink except that much fun was enjoyed by all

The Slipper Salon was a somber experience with a distinct cake drought endured

Wednesday night’s Sutton Soccerdome session was bathed in sunshine for the most part There was news that Haggis was in Belfast for a tournament in the George Best Stade A good turnout graced the hallowed astroturf trying hard not to think of ice cold beers or even cake So successful were they in that respect that they forgot to take photographs to record their assemblies for posterity

White - Gonzalo, Subbuteo Dave, Jason, Grav, Les H and Chris 4G

Yellow - Andy Holland, Midweek Michelle, Eamon, Ian H, Joe the Ghost and Benno

The game was awash with goals with White taking the first half advantage to lead 7-5 After the break Yellow hit back to claim an amazing 13-9 victory Midweek Michelle set hearts fluttering when she took a nasty tumble intercepting a through ball The fall dislodged her specs, which led to a grazed eyebrow and cheek (pictured below)

Gamely she dusted herself down and carried on There was a sublime move just at the end of play with Ian Hilton holding up then back heeling a superb pass that Andy Holland finished in great style The game ended with handshakes and kind words all round Some contest that one Goal scorers were Gonzalo with 7, Subbuteo Dave with a hat trick plus singletons for Jason, Grav and Chris 4G for White Andy Holland 5, Eamon 2 plus goals by Michelle and Joe the Ghost

The night’s other fixture featured;

Blue - Deano, Andy Man, Little John, Phil the Power and Lord Rainford

Orange - Tom Stretch, Mark Dav, Peter T, Les Meldrew and Eileen

Orange looked to sealed the deal with a healthy 5-1 advantage at the break The second half was quite a different story however, with Blue finally getting their defensive act together to thwart Mark Dav and Peter T The second stanza brought Blue back to 5-4 and later 6-5 but Orange retained the upper hand throughout Andy Man did have the final say with his goal bringing the scores level at 7-7 Blue redeemed at the death

Blue scorers were Deano with a hat trick, Andy Man 2, Lord Rainford and Phil the Power each with a goal

Orange’s 7 were Tom Stretch and Les Meldrew with solitary strikes plus strike partners Peter T 3 and Mark Dav 2 sharing the work load up front

Quite a night with 36 goals in all Defences back to school to work on basics this week Haggis and his team were narrowly defeated in the Tournament quarter finals We hope to have further news of that event to share next edition

Quite a week then

Headline News* - Edwin Starr