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Brown Eyed Handsome Men (*)

Updated: Aug 2, 2023

Our Social Secretary is certainly making his mark. Less than a month into his post and he has already arranged an impromptu appearance by the Italian Rugby League team at Ruskin in honour of Kirsty’s Birthday!

More on that later.

Before getting under way at Ruskin on Monday there was an opportunity to honour two of our Over 65s heroes who played a prominent part in our day at Lilleshall; but who hadn’t been eligible to play in the Regional competitions earlier in the year. Tom Derbyshire wasn’t old enough then; and Eamon O’Donnell hadn’t even joined us! Eamon foolishly let on when he joined that he had played in goal before, with inevitable result in the absence on holiday of Thatto Dave; and his triple save in our last group game at Lilleshall will be long remembered. As will Tom Derby’s goal… it was the only one we scored that day! Both received medals commemorating their participation that day to applause all round.

Praise was then shared all round as Football Manager Andy congratulated everyone on the sporting spirit shown on Mondays, people remembering to keep possession, a pass back was not a mortal sin and taking your turn in nets is actually a Good Thing. After the usual stretching; accompanied by some inevitable groaning from some of us whose knees have seen better days; Les proved again that the Club’s Moneyball system isn’t the only solution to get well matched teams; as he produced the following line-ups:-

Green: Norman, Chris, Grav, John Pender, Margaret, Tom Derby, Eamon

Pink: Ray, Andy, Goldie, Anita, Dave Seagull, Triallist, Dave Prime

Black: Phil, Thatto, Cockney, Sheila, Tony, Charlie, MikeA,

Blue: Steve F (a welcome back from injury and illness), John Pidgeon, Kirsty, Donal, Julie, Lord Rainford and Steve the Honeyman

And now, bring back your childhood huddled round your radio on a late Saturday afternoon. Hum Out of the Blue and read out the following in the style of James Alexander-Gordon

Green 1 v 1 Purple

Pink0 v 0 Black

Purple 2 v 0 Pink

Black 0 v 2 Green

Black 1 v 0 Purple

Pink 0 v1 Green

The first games produced two draws, a stalemate on the far pitch between Pink and Black; but with Margaret getting the day's first goal for the Greens with a half chance catching Kirsty by surprise; Purple deservedly equalised with a cool finish by Little John making up for one or two chances from his team having been blasted over the bar. In the 2nd game both Greens and Purples went one better. Eamon and Tom D being the scorers in Greens 2-0 win and two from Steve Ford giving Purple a similar score against Pink, including a penalty. ‘Encroachment!’ said ref Chopper ‘Dave was in the error’. ‘But I’m the keeper’ said Dave Seagull. The protest was withdrawn when it was pointed out he was by far from being the only Dave from amongst his team mates.

Pink suffered a similar fate in their final game when despite 7 defiant saves from Anita, eventually Eamon bent it like….err, that chap who used to play for Man Utd…. for the only goal. And the Black Purple game also seemed to be headed for a blank until Mika latched on to a poor clearance, fed Cockney Rebel and……that was the final goal of a hard but fairly fought morning of walking footy.

Now, after our exertions on Monday it is traditional if someone has a birthday and is staying for coffee for cake to be provided. Cake, yes; but not normally beefcake. Appearing in various states of deshabille (look it up) were the Azzurri; providing a distracting presence for several of our SHWFC members. Requests that our Social Secretary to follow up this surprise extra Birthday gift for Kirsty with similar appearances by the Australians or New Zealanders were met with no promises but an ‘I’ll see what I can do’. Surprisingly an offer for various members of our over 65 squad to perform a similar function in coming weeks did not meet with the same level of interest.

And so, with the attendance of some eye candy to go with the more calorific stuff; we ended an enjoyable morning with reminiscences from Anita who, when in carrying out her constabulary duties one night in Liverpool, had been mistaken in a nightclub for a stag do’s kissogram. And how Martin B, whilst working at Guys Hospital, had inadvertently become a priority patient in the hospital’s sexually transmitted diseases clinic…….

(* Chuck Berry. I have no idea whether their eyes were Brown. Anita, Sheila, Margaret and Kirsty may be able to tell you; although their attentions may mostly have been slightly lower)

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