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Ball of Confusion*

Updated: Nov 1, 2022

There comes a time when no matter how well prepared and organised things appear to be, in truth blind chance and good fortune are firmly in charge Wednesday’s Sutton session started in good shape with 24 members lining up for their mid week Walking Football fix Half Term and all good so far Ten press-ganged into plying their funky stuff indoors whilst their fourteen formidable fellows took the air outside on the AstroTurf


The indoor session offered the true light and shade in quality terms One volunteered their verdict “at times dour at other times very good” Victor assembled the teams with his usual vigour


White - Steve Honeyman, Joe the Boxer, Jeff Betty, Cockney Rebel and Laura


Colours - Andy Powell, Phil the Power, Dave Babylon Gray, Les and Disco Deggs


The game was split into four segments and in the first portion the imbalance was soon obvious Colours roared into a 5-nil lead with goals flowing from Deggs Phil and Dave Gray at regular intervals Executive Action at the break took Andy Powell and Laura in opposite transfer directions


The changes did steady the ship somewhat just 6-nil to Colours at the halfway point The third stanza was a rather different affair for at last White found the net Our reporter was impressed with the fight back 6-4 and just minutes remaining to settle the game With 5 minutes remaining the score was level at 7-7 Honeyman, Rebel C (one penalty scored and one missed) plus Laura from a short corner move


Could White overpower the odds and find an unlikely win? Will you be serious! This is SHWFC, with the mountain almost climbed White promptly collapsed to hand Colours a 10-7 win that only minutes earlier seemed most unlikely Moneyball could be reintroduced earlier next week to ensure a closer game from the outset but who can tell?


The AstroTurf warriors matchup was a much closer with a long period of stalemate Both sides searching for their shooting boots in the opening period


The teams selected were:-


Red - Daz Sammo, Tom Derby, Chris Willo, Michelle, Steve Goldie, Dave Bates and Little John


Colours - Eamon, Martin Mc, Clarkie, Lord Rainford, Andy Man, Sharon and Haggis


As the game settled Red did appear to have a slight edge with Daz pulling the strings from midfield Michelle missed a couple of tough openings Tom Derby failed to move with a clear path through on goal “To my feet my man” he didn’t say but we got the message At the other end Haggis missed out when set up by a smart move featuring Gaz, Andy Man and Sharon “Get running Eamon” was the cry at one point “I can’t I can’t he’s watching me was the reply! As the segment closed Michelle fired 3 shots from point blank range but only found the rather large frame of Clarkie filling his goal (over the years lots have suffered a similar fate) Into the second period play ebbed from end to end


Lord Rainford went close at one point with his unconventional ‘Sussex Sweep’ outside of left foot with back swing The opening goal was claimed by Tom Derby who finally broke the deadlock with close in effort Goldie almost doubled the advantage with a swift interception but shot wide (saving Referee El Presidente the trouble of blowing for the ‘run’


There was a period of intense pressure with repeat overhead free kicks awarded following timely blocks But 1-nil it remained Red ahead and into the final segment Colours claimed a dubious goal as a beach ball invaded the area adjacent to the Red goal


El Presidente signalled no goal despite the protests Play switched from end to end with chances now flowing Dave Bates found the net having surged from midfield to fire a low shot past the hapless Haggis in the Colours nets


Shortly after Tom Derby’s second goal appeared to have settled the match 3-nil Red seemed totally in charge now, Colours struggling to stay in touch With three and a half minutes remaining Eamon pulled a goal back following some penetrative passing from Andy, Clarkie and Martin Mc 3-1 aconsolation surely? Next Lord Rainford found a little space wide on the left and drove a smart shot in the space between post and keeper 3-2 but time almost up Red were ticked off for time wasting, delaying the restart to wind down the clock


The delay only egged on Colours on to find an equaliser and Clarkie was Johnny on the Spot to poke the ball home from the edge of the area 3-3 There was a muted protest before Red decided that there was still some time remaining (ironically for their own time wasting) A final shot was on target and destined for the net until the final whistle was blown clearly ahead of the ball crossing the line What would a SHWFC session be without some controversy? El Presidente clearly enjoying his power trip took great delight in ruling out the ‘miracle ending’ So play ended as level as it started Loads of banter and laughs


All agreed great fun and some pretty decent football too The Player of the Session is Chris

Wilson who has been impressive for several weeks but was superb on Wednesday evening


Ball of Confusion* - The Temptations


Andy Houghton Our Football Manager making the presentation to last Wednesday's MoM John (little John) Penders


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