Advice For The Young At Heart*

One of the less well-known benefits of the aging process is that suddenly, when you least expect it, you gain insight and wisdom bestowed by that process A nice theory certainly, but in reality you also become open to ridicule and dismissive attitudes too Monday morning’s Ruskin Sports Village session should have been the gentle prelude to the weekly Walking Football activities instead there were ‘incidents and accidents’ that boiled over at times to distract and disturb the equilibrium

We enjoyed another healthy assembly of members with 38 players plus solo Referee El Presidente all eager to get their week underway with a brisk walk out on the astroturf acres

In keeping with our new practice Mika and Lord Rainford each played half a game and reffed half a game But that still left a third of the morning’s games without even a token refereeing presence

The teams selected were;

Black (7) - Barry Wizz, Les H, Sheila, Glen, Roy, Brian and Haggis

Old Gold (7) - Cockney Rebel, Steve Jones, Eileen, Roger, Phil the Cat, Little John and Aldo

Green - Mika, Mike Bate, Lord Rainford, Tom Stretch, Wickie, Geoff Prout and Tracey

Red - Steve Honeyman, Lefty Bridge, Snakehips, Robin, Monday Michelle and Amazon Prime

Purple - Geoff Poole, Phil the Moss, Margaret, McSpeed, Rick, Mark NR and Enoch

Blue - PaulF, Andy Man, Julie, Ashy, Mike Thomo and Citeh Geoff

Mika took charge of the opening salvo between Purple and Green The game teetered on the brink of team foul penalties with both sides guilty of 3 offences each Somehow that punitive action was avoided with some friendly advice from Mika to curb the all out sprinting Goals by Geoff Poole, Rick and Phil Moss powered Purple to a 3-0 victory that highlighted the lack of strike power in the Green line up Despite the presence of some usually deadly strikers, the Green profilacy to gift the ball to their opponents led to the one sided scoreline

Game 2 and sadly the same outcome Purple inflicting another bruising defeat on their hapless opponents McSpeed with a brace and Mark No Relation Davies were the scorers in the second match up Tracey did hit the woodwork twice and there were fine saves to deny Tom Stretch and Mike Bate New England squad member Tracey received a round of applause prior to the action but Purple were less generous in their approach to the actual match Margaret had a good morning for Purple with some great positioning and usual neat passing Green were left sick as the proverbial parrot (Green naturally)

Red played Blue,allegedly, in the morning’s other game But with no Referee regrettably we’ve no record of the score or scorers So anyone who did play can happily claim as many goals as like safe in the knowledge that there’s no one who can with any authority contradict their exaggerated boasts

El Presidente endured some tricky moments over-seeing the big clash between Black and Old Gold The game started brightly Barry Wizzing in the Black opener before Steve Jones claimed a leveller Aldo put Old Gold ahead before Brian claimed the Black equaliser After the break and in heavy drizzle the game descended with a torrent of too much back chat and some very meaty challenges A reminder that Walking Football is a non contact sport A further reminder too that back chat especially aimed at Referees will not be tolerated A Blue Card was the sanction required to restore sanity Some players were not amused of course Eileen and the Cockney Rebel were very vocal to quell the disturbance However there was too many late or clumsy challenges as nerves frayed

In the brief spells of play Roy fired Black ahead, Phil the Cat found an equaliser for 3-3 Goals by Barry Wizz and Aldo finally tied up the loose ends for a 4-4 score that was possibly irrelevant because of the under current of ill-feeling that had ruined the pure enjoyment of the game

On reflection sterner earlier punishment might have prevented some of the angst El Presidente does like to play as much advantage as possible to keep the game moving Perhaps in this case some stop, start nannying would have been preferable Food for thought as we get older we should enjoy the whole buzz of still being able to play the game We all signed up to the Club Code of Conduct - a reminder below

• Place the well-being, safety and enjoyment of each player above everything, including winning

• Adhere to the rules

• Display and promote high standards of behaviour

• Promote fair play

• Always respect the match officials decisions

• Never engage in or tolerate offensive, insulting or abusive language or behaviour

• Never engage in bullying, intimidation or harassment

• Speak to my team-mates, the opposition, spectators and my coach/manager with respect

• Remember we all make mistakes

• Win or lose with dignity. 

• Shake hands with the opposing team and the referee at the end of every game

• Be an ambassador for my club

Wednesday’s skies took on an onimous atmosphere following the unseasonable and unreasonable deluge of tea time rain that ‘freshened up’ the pitches Happily with another large number of combatants out in force we were able to field two excellent games that seemed to satisfy most involved

The teams for the Sutton SoccerDome were;

Black - Mike Thomo, Joe the Ghost, Simon, Mutch, Andy Man, Haggis, Little John and Benny

Yellow - Steve Smith, Deggs, Ian H, Dawn, Rachel, Enoch, Colin and Grav

Blue - Neil Stretch, Eileen, Tom Stretch NR, Roger, Smoke Bomba, PJ and Benno

Red - Deano, Gonzalo, Cockney Rebel, Subbuteo Dave, Citeh Geoff, Les H, Steve Honeyman and Helen

Red and Blue turned out to be ‘a cracker’ with both sides contributing to an epic showdown The game was refereed by Eamon and Cockney Rebel each taking in turns to preside over affairs Red claimed a narrow victory by 5 goals to Blue’s measly 4 A 9 goal thriller for all involved

For Red Deano back after an extended absence scored one and made a decisive contribution with defence splitting back heel to gift Gonzalo his third of the night Subbuteo Dave played his part too and was rewarded with a neat goal Jason, Tom Stretch and Smoke Bomba 2 were the Blue scorers

The night’s other game was a cat and mouse tussle with some exceptional goals and some dismal defensive work too

Yellow romped into a 4 goal lead Colin with two solo efforts early in the action Steve Smith claimed his brace as Black found their numerical disadvantage a huge barrier The introduction of 14year old Benny to bolster the Black defence paid off with Simon firing Black’s first Steve Smith hit back to restore the 4 goal cushion, before Joe and Thomo scored spectacular goals to make it 5-3 and a better reflection on the developing game Smith added his 4th from the spot kick after Andy had wandered into the box trying to stem another Yellow attack Mutchy forced home for 6-4 as the first half action ended

Haggis curled a trademark shot into the far corner for 6-5 The change in the game complete after the earlier debacle Steve Smith found the net for the 5th occasion to stretch the lead before Grav seemingly sealed the result with the 8th Yellow score Undaunted Black kept pressing for a way back with Mike Thomo on target for 8-6 before Haggis slotted a penalty to close out the action Yellow 8 - 7 Yellow a terrific contest The ball moving about with great purpose and accuracy

The Turks Head Boot Room media session was a muted affair with the absent Lord Rainford sorely missed by his colleagues We offer a final tribute to M’Lord as the solitary man with a beer A reminder that evidently other licensed premises do apparently serve alcohol too

Advice To The Young At Heart* Tears For Fears