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A O’Hooligan


It’s a Southern thing

O'Hooligan here! Following the collapse of HS2 yesterday to further slow down the world and the WFA putting out directives to slow down our game the club have brought in some measures of thier own!

The first one being TLS (touchline snitches). Victor Meldreth is a massive fan of this system as he is allowed to charge a pound for every time he has to use his loud hailer to slow someone down! This money goes towards the club and also to VU (villa upkeep) which is resonable! The next system is RCM (Running calming measures).

These are a system of speed humps, trip wires and traffic cones set at various areas around the pitch! Especially down the centre of the pitch which sees alot of rampaging over the course of the games! The next is my favourite LWF (leave where fallen). This comes into play when someone is hacked or has fallen to the ground.

To save playing time we just leave them there until the end of the session! I can hear the protests already but we will have blankets, jackets and handkerchiefs ready to keep the fallen warm until the end! It has been suggested that the referees carry Tasers to slow repeat offenders but that has been put in the ITF (in the future) box for now! Cheers! 😇🇮🇪

Also if you think about it using LWF would further assist RCM. As you would have bodies scattered around the pitch and there would be less for TLS to do! VU might suffer but Victor could use the surplus of Euros he seems to be collecting! Cheers again! 😇🇮🇪

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