Wuthering Heights*

Members enthusiasm has reached uncharted heights of late, it seems our Club has never been as popular with record numbers involved in our weekly sessions El Presidente’s in-box has rarely been so busy Our Treasurer hand rubbing has reached new levels of blistering heat He declared this week that we’ve 115 paid-up members All in all our 10th Anniversary year is scaling dizzying levels

Reports of members celebrating are flooding into the newsroom with growing regularity Credit then to Margaret who recently scored a goal so fine that the opposition keeper, one Lord Rainford, left his area to congratulate her for so comprehensively beating his despairing fall over In the same game Eamon earned plaudits for a magnificent strike, that was downplayed in the Blog but was modestly mentioned on Granada Reports, News at Ten and even in Slipper Salon (not again)

The point is that when there is a notable episode during a session we really do need someone to report it So grab your 15 minutes of fame before someone else does

Monday morning’s Ruskin Sports Village session was another well attended affair with at least 36 players on show for the watching hordes Referees for the session were Jeff the Ref Betty, Charlie and Aldo New signing Steve Harding who had arrived as spectator was pressed into action as John Hill returned after injury and some confusion over his availability (International clearance again?)

The teams selected were;

Red - Chris 4G, Mike Bates, Michelle Monday, Mike Thomo, Haggis and Brian

Green - PaulF, Enoch, Lefty Bridge, Geoff Poole, Amazon and Snakehips

Purple - Phil the Power, Andy Man, Mika, Roy, Chopper and Margaret

Old Gold - Ashy, Prout G, Tom Stretch, Wickie, Steve Honeyman and El Presidente

Black - Robin, McSpeed, Phil the Cat, Cockney Rebel, Jill Tomo and Gonzalo

Blue - John Hill, Rick, Eamon, Lord Rainford, Sheila, Little John and Steve Jones

The game featuring Purple and Old Gold was a nine goal thriller with play switching from end to end, some great passing and great sportsmanship too Andy and Phil fired Purple into a comfortable 2-0 lead before Old Gold fought their way back to parity and eventually a narrow lead The Honeyman with two, led the line with the Old Goldies rearguard taking a firmer grip on play Tom stretched to allow Old Gold to take the lead but a brace by Roy restored Purple’s advantage El Presidente ventured into nose bleed territory to fire a shot to bring the game back all square Cruel misfortune led to the vital and decisive goal with Wickie diverting a goal bound shot beyond the Old Gold keeper to nestle in the far corner A very good contest handled with quirky efficiency by Aldo, who in truth kept a light touch on the match, helped greatly by the players acceptance Purple prevailing 5-4 after a very enjoyable hour

Blue played Green on Pitch 2 with Charlie in control Green emerged victors after a pillaging game, punctuated by a bothersome half time confusion Instead of simply turning round, players wandered hither and yon unsure whether the sides were expected to move on to face other opposition Before the delay Blue and Green had produced some excellent performances as Green overwhelmed the Azzuri thanks to goals by PaulF, Lefty and Geoff Poole Eamon claimed the consolation Blue reply 3-1 the final verdict

Blue endured a miserable morning swept away in their second fixture by a ruthless Black side with way too much pace and guile for their opponents McSpeed hit a fine brace whilst strike partner Gonzalo added to the misery Eamon did hit another consolation but also failed from a penalty 3-1 the predictable scoreline

Red proved too strong for Black in their opening game Mike Bates and Haggis both hit two as Red threatened to overwhelm Black Gonzalo did strike twice to put an air of respectability on the score but Red held out to win by 4 goals to 2

The final match was a noble draw after Red and Green went toe to toe Mike claimed the Red goal with a typical Lefty strike for Green in reply 1-1 honours even

There was a uncharacteristic moment in the sumptuous surroundings of the Slipper Salon when it was discovered that there was no cake to greet our warriors post-session Serious questions were floated with one suggestion being the introduction of a Cake Rota

Lofty notion or not, serious thought is required before our next Monday morning outing

Midweek and the reinvention of European Soccerball that game that features proper VAR and relatively few corner opportunities meant a disappearance of big numbers for the evening’s entertainment Perhaps the indoor soft shoe shufflers are indicative of the change in seasons? After a record number of players just a week before this week there was a distinct difference in availability

As usual in the Winter term, the hard core AstroTurfers gleefully accepted the night’s conditions with typical British stiff upper lip El Presidente whipped the troops into frenzied action with the two eventual games being a prelude for an exceptional set of games Lord Rainford seized the chance to reprise his role as Good Cop complete with Sussex regulation police whistle His toots restoring order whenever necessary (thankfully hardly ever) El Presidente’s Bad Cop (tough love surely?) ruled over the other games What a treat football purists we enjoyed

The AstroTurfer Teams were;

Black - Mike Thomo, Chris 4G, Midweek Michelle, PJ and Andy Holland (back after summer season in Butlins?)

Green - James, Jo, Jason, Little John and Smoke Bomba (sorry couldn’t think of another J name)

Pink - Deano, Graham, Benno, Tom Stretch and Cockney Rebel

Yellow - Les H, Colin, Haggis, Mark Dav and Gonzalo

Under the gentle guidance of Lord Rainford Pink played Yellow in a very competitive game As is now the accepted norm the two sides were very closely matched In a 5 goal thriller Benno claimed the decisive goal There was a magnificent outside of the foot wonder goal scored by the Cockney Rebel Hit with real venom the ball zipped along the floor before nestling in the far corner Deano was also on target with his usual cool touch Pink 3 goals just enough to shade Yellow for whom Mark Dav claimed two in reply 3-2 the final outcome

Black were swept aside by Yellow’s superior fire power Despite goals by PJ, Chris 4 G and Andy Holland 4 goals by Gonzalo (one long range effort almost a pass into the corner) plus another brace by Mark Dav Yellow paraded around the Winners Enclosure at the close

Black had enjoyed a share of the spoils in their opening game Green had opened up in fine form with goals by Smoke Bomba and Jason handing a two goal cushion before Black finally exerted some pressure Andy Holland scored goals either side of Jason’s 2nd goal 3-2 and all set for a grandstand finish With just seven seconds left to play Mike Thomo finally found the net after a clutch of near misses to seal a 3-3 scoreline A really great match which might have gone either way Lots of chances created, lots of close scrapes and ultimately a deserved draw

In the evening’s final match Green were ahead thanks to a Jason special before Deano equalised for Pink Smoke Bomba then restored the Green ascendancy, profiting from some wasteful defensive clearing Tom Stretch hit back to draw the sides level once again The game was another end to end affair with great passages of team work Jo and James combined well to keep Pink defenders occupied As time ebbed away Green produced a great move featuring all their players before Jason was free to bear down on goal to poke away the ball into the Pink net Would Green manage to hold out this time? Despite some almighty efforts Pink couldn’t find the vital spark to equalise Green held on to record the victory 3-2 the final score

Meanwhile the opening indoor session was played behind closed doors with no spectators or referee to witness the soft shoe shuffling by the usual suspects Its uncanny just how the same faces appear in the indoor team line-ups each week Peeling off several layers of outerwear to strip down to Speedos for their session really takes some doing!

The teams for the spree were;

Orange Trunks - Andy Man, Steve Honeyman, Lee Thomo, Joe the Ghost and the Triallist

White Trunks - Phil the Power, Grav, Wickie, Enoch and Les Meldrew

In what was described as ‘a good hard game to welcome us back inside, by the end everyone was saying just how tiring it was Orange probably dominated the first half ( using slope and wind?) But despite three times taking the lead, each time White pulled back to level the game After the break White took control with neater passing and better positional know how

The final score 8-4, with White finishing well on top in a game played in great spirit both sides accepting the collective responsibility of fair play

The Orange scorers were the Honeyman 2, Andy, and Lee or possibly Joe ( no me either!)

White scorers Grav with 5 (time to buy matching socks with win bonus?) Meldrew 2 and Wickie

Cool drinks all round at the conclusion as well as handshakes and kind words

Some monumental moments in a great week for Walking Football and SHWFC in particular

Let’s do it all over again next week

Wuthering Heights* Kate Bush