Walk This Way*

There’s been a healthy uplift in member numbers during our recent Indian Summer This implies that we’ve enjoyed a late sunny interlude but the reality is that autumn is creeping ever more surely with each week Monday mornings Ruskin Sports Village session this week was thankfully a pleasant start to the week reflected in another well attended gathering of the Clans

Our latest recruit Robbie Andrews, a lively thirty something, wasted no time in making his presence felt An ebullient Scot, he quickly settled into the vagaries of Walking Football and by the final game was exchanging his thoughts with Referee Andy ‘Enoch’ Powell

In a lively conversation that shocked some of our other members by its intensity and volume Enoch gave as good as he got

But I’m giving the plot away

37 players toed the touchline in preparation for the selection process Five teams of six plus one of seven made the final cut as follows;

Pink - Steve J, Phil the Power, Les H, Jim, Kirsty and Tomo

Black - Barry Wizz, McSpeed, Phil the Cat, Jenko, Robin and Sheila

Purple - Brian, Roger, Eileen, Grazer, Amazon and Colin the Late

Sky - Robbie (debutant), Eamon, Margaret, Chris K, Snakehips and Phil the Moss

Yellow - Donal, Aldo, Ashy, Tom Stretch, Les Meldrew and Cockney Rebel

Orange (7) - Enoch, Lord Rainford, Triallist, Tom Derby, Chopper, Mark Dav and Mika

We’ve also included a rare photo of the Judith Chalmers Ladies Formation team pictured in a training drill At this part of the year they’re usually found in foreign parts doing warm weather training but unselfishly they’ve decided to tough it out at least for the duration of this photo We feel your pain but you’re looking good girls!

Special thanks to our Referees, without whom etc etc …. Headed by Jeff Betty Birchall, with El Presidente and player/referee Andy ‘Enoch’ Powell they had a relatively trouble free morning’s graft In the grand scheme of things In all likelihood the word ‘relatively’ should be treated as a loose description

Sky faced Black in the First Round of games A lively encounter with play moving swiftly from end to end Barry Wizzed in to take advantage of some defensive uncertainty to claim the opening goal 1-0 to Black There was a silly repeat soon after with Barry seizing the chance to double the advantage 2-0 When will people realise the risk of knocking a ball square in front of their own goal? Lots of chat throughout mostly constructive but with the odd pointless attempt to tell the Referee what a decision really should be

Black were generally better organised with players holding their positions and discipline Sky were loose in comparison relying on individual brilliance rather than teamwork and collective competence

McSpeed added a late goal to kill off any hope that Sky strived for Barry completed his hat trick ironically a break out from a Sky corner 4-0 Black much too strong Mike McSpeed added the fifth to draw proceedings to a close A comprehensive 5-0 dismantling of any Blue Sky thinking

Yellow overcome a stubborn Orange 3-1 thanks to 2 goals by Tom Stretch and Aldo strike Orange had taken an early lead thanks to a fine shot by Mark Dav Soon after Dav was hit by a sniper taking a direct hit in the hamstring to bring an end his morning’s participation

Pink and Purple ended goal less on the adjacent pitch in stark contrast

In the Second Round Black retained their ‘Home’ status entertaining Purple Jenko tested Purple keeper Grazer with a great strike from distance but the keeper got down in text book style to save Black went ahead when Mike McSpeed found half a yard to fire into the bottom corner 1-0 Purple enjoyed a good period of sustained pressure Colin hit the post with a fine shot Brian did find the target to equalise A fine one-two with Amazon Prime creating the chance Brian didn’t waste Jenko was forced into action to preserve the Black status, Barry Wizzed across the area, straying too close for his own good A penalty the consequence which was tucked away by Amazon to hand Purple the advantage Black did raise their game searching for parity Barry was at times guilty of over-exuberance and wasting possession with loose passing and occasional sprinting Time passing with Purple still ahead and growing in confidence Barry redeemed himself with an equalising goal with under a minute left 2-2 the final score

Sky shaded Orange 2-1 despite a Mika goal Orange succumbing to cumulative injuries, Enoch with Knee knack and our Triallist’s infamous Glass Back simply adding to Dav’s misfortune Luckily for Orange they had a modest hero in their ranks who pluckily ‘played a blinder’ in the nets to restrict Sky to just the 2 winning goals Pink lost out to Yellow in a close game Aldo claimed the only goal of the close fought game 1-0 Yellow on top

Black faced Yellow in their final game Yet another epic game with bags of fine passing to catch the eye Play inevitably flowed from end to end with chances at both ends There was a “Llandudno Fine” imposed when a nameless individual found a clearance that cleared the perimeter fence to land outside the arena Yellow produced some excellent approach work to bisect the Black rearguard but a fine save then narrow volley wide by the Cockney Rebel couldn’t break the deadlock Les Meldrew revelled in his advance Inzaghi position, with his hair blowing wildly in the morning’s breeze (not something anyone will have remarked in many years?) Yellow were now edging possession and slightly on top but still couldn’t find a goal The decisive goal eventually arrived in the last ten seconds when Tom Stretch swooped to steer his side into a winning lead

Brian produced a worldy (what else could it have been?) to ensure Purple beat the luckless, winless Orange 1-0

The morning’s finale was a veritable goal feast with Pink and Sky both finding the net with regularity Eamon, Phil the Moss and Chris K were the Sky writers whilst Jill Tomo 2 and Steve Jones replied for Pink

There was an outburst of disagreement towards the end of the session when a refereeing decision was loudly questioned This isolated incident was notable because it was so unusual We are assured there’ll be no repeat

Walking Footballers always walk this way

One repeat that was welcomed was the provision of confectionery by Jenko, in celebration of his recent Birthday The sumptuous surroundings of the Slipper Salon makes the perfect setting for further cake consumption of course Its good to end a Monday morning in style

Wednesday’s midweek session at the Sutton SoccerDome followed the usual pattern with an indoor and outdoor split between members

The outdoor AstroTurf brigade was a smaller than normal affair with 13 augmented by Ref Jeff Betty who evened the sides up by playing as well as officiating

The teams were;

Blue - Ian H, Jim, Subbuteo Dave, Simon, Peter T, Chris 10P and Deano

Yellow - Eileen, Gonzalo, Eamon, Benno, Jason, Cockney Rebel and J Betty Esq

Yellow started well dominating the first half and unsurprisingly went into the break ahead thanks 2 goals by Gonzalo and one from Eamon Chris10P grabbed a consolation 3-1 at the break Blue raised their game after the interval Peter T punished an Ooh Betty error for 3-2 Benno and then Jason steadied the Yellow with goals to restore their advantage 5-2 Subbuteo Dave hit a hat trick to level the match 5-5 With the result there for the taking Jason took two chances to seal a 7-5 win for Yellow, claiming his first hat trick in the process A great match which might have gone either way Handshakes all round

The innards were;

White - John C, Tom Derby, Andy Man, Deggs and Les Meldrew

Red - Phil the Power, Phil the Cat, Citeh Geoff, Steve C and Grav

White, perhaps inspired by watching the kids game prior to taking the pitch, proceeded to chase around like headless chickens All were guilty of reckless wandering about in search of the ball rather than the more disciplined method that fired armed 4-2 ahead at the break

The second stanza was a repeat performance a cavalier approach to defending offering their opponents free reign Unsurprisingly the second period ended 7-2 White seeming unable to tighten up defensively and paying a heavy price for their profligacy Deggs did grab a rare White goal but Steve Carine wrapped up a hat trick and the Red victory in fine style

The final score 8-3 to Red with Citeh Geoff, Phil the Cat 2, Grav 2 and Steve Carine 3 claiming the Red goals, whilst John Cousins 2 and Deggs hit back for a bewildered White

The night ended with a Lord of Realm struggling to recall his leg dressing order for his Jean removal Clearly the mayhem of refereeing the indoor session rendered untold damage to his memory The situation no clearer this morning by all accounts.

Walk This Way* - Aerosmith ( also recorded by Run DMC in collaboration with Aerosmith)