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Too shy*?

One of the challenges of writing a blog for St Helens WFC’s weekly doings is memory. None of us are getting any younger and in the heat of battle (well, you know what I mean, its only walking football!) things – apart from that superlative shot you put in the top corner, natch - can get forgotten. This is especially the case when we have two matches going on at the same time, as we now do at most of our Monday & Wednesday events.


All is not lost, however. Thanks to the collective memories of those congregating in the Slipper Room for coffee & other beverages after Monday’s efforts at Ruskin; I am reasonably confident in reporting that the teams picked – after another unique warm up session from Andy Capp - were as follows. And we even have photographic evidence to prove it!


GREEN: Colin ‘the late’ Williams, Allan M, Tom ‘stretch’ Parr, Eamon, Les Meldrew, Citeh Geoff and, Lord Rainford (this week’s ace newshawk)


PURPLE: ’Nita, Colin P, Andy Capp, Steve F, Grav, Mark (completely unrelated) Davies and Dave P


PINK: Debutant Jane, Tony ‘Snakehips’ Burn, Dave Seagull, Donal, Mika and John Pidgeon


ORANGE: Cockney Rebel, John Pender, The Ox, Kirsty, Charlie, Margaret and Steve Goldie


Steady on old chap’ I hear some with knowledge of the players say. ‘That looks a bit unbalanced’. Guilty as charged. But with less than a week to go until the over 65’s grand finals day at Lilleshall next Sunday, a decision was taken to get as many of the squad to play together as possible – hence the green side as listed above - meaning other teams suffered a bit. All back to what passes for normal at SHWFC after this weekend!


As our two most recent regular refs were sunning themselves on some foreign beach (hello Jeff Bettye and El Presidente!) Martin ‘Chopper’ Williams – fresh with frustrating news about his need for a knee operation – bravely offered to both time-keep to make sure every team played each other and provide some referring input. We thank him both for that and for the coffees afterwards.


It is once the playing started that, sadly, our collective Slipper Room memories started to fail us. But I am pretty sure that from what I know and what I was told that the scores were as follows: -


Round 1: Green 2 v 1 Pink, Orange 1 v 3 Purple


Round 2: Green 2 v 0 Purple, Orange 1 v 1 Pink


Round 3: Green 4 v 1 Orange, Purple 3 v 1 Pink


Which leaves us with a league table looking like this (2) : -

Played

Won

Drawn

Lost

For

Against

Points

Green

3

3

0

0

8

2

9

Purple

3

2

0

1

6

4

6

Pink

3

0

1

2

3

6

1

Orange

3

0

1

2

3

8

1


This is where we start to struggle. A plea went out on the WhatsApp Group from both yours truly and El President on his hols, asking for anyone to let us know anything worthy of mention, goal scorers etc. ‘Don’t be bashful’ was the message ‘take credit when you’ve earned it.’


Cue tumbleweed………………………….


Whilst I am impressed by my fellow members modesty, you all passed up the opportunity to give yourselves star billings in the annals of the club and it would have been something which hardly anyone would have been able to dispute! I can think of one or two members not present who might not have been so modest, but at least one of them was holidaying a bit further north than the referees mentioned earlier.


What I am happy to report is that, on her debut, Jane impressed all with the standard of her play and we are pleased to report she enjoyed it and will be coming back. ‘I’ll have to practise’?? Won’t we all, dear! In fact, her team took an early lead in the first game against Greens when the fact that we weren’t playing 3 touch bamboozled Eamon in the Green goal, giving Donal the chance to score and put Pinks in front. But the over 65 squad eventually stuttered their way to a 2-1 win despite some valiant efforts in goal from Dave Seagull and Mika. I fear what happened in the Orange v Purple game - apart from the result – must remain a mystery.


So, to round two and in a close fought game Orange and Pinks could not be separated, with Cockney R netting for Orange and John P for Pinks. The Greens continued their winning run and started to put some better moves and passes together. Possibly the outstanding moment (well I would say this, wouldn’t I?) was Tom’s pass to Lord R on the right giving him the chance to find the top corner with a flick of the outside of his right boot for the opening goal.


In the final 2 games, tiredness began to tell given the number of goals scored compared to earlier rounds. Both included very late goals which may have been (he says tactfully) to not hearing timekeeper Chopper calling ‘time’. Purple were too strong for Pinks with Steve and Mark amongst the scorers. But Tony ensured that, despite their numerical disadvantage, Pinks scored in each round. The Green over 65s now found their rhythm and overpowered Orange, scoring 4 goals and almost keeping a clean sheet before a very, very, very late goal from Margaret; which Les in nets was disappointed about…for a number of reasons!!


So hopefully a morale boosting morning for our over 65 squad and good look to them in the uncharted waters of Lilleshall on Sunday. But well played all in an enjoyable morning. No match at Ruskin next Monday because of the royal funeral bank holiday, but we still have Wednesdays at Sutton and our partner game in Whiston on a Friday evening to get your walking football fix!


1 – Kajagoogoo

2 – Would I have put this in if my team hadn’t finished top? We shall never know……




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