The Referee’s Alphabet*

This week’s Blog starts in an unusual manner, no apologies at least we may have your attention, but that’s the kind of point of the exercise The past few sessions have roller-coastered from the sublime to the ridiculous No referee availability to a wealth of officials

The Club has in the past always been prepared to put its money where its mouth is We’ve invested in training and equipping members to perform the unenvied role of referee to help to keep order at our sessions for the health, safety and sanity of us all

At this time of the year holidays offer R&R for those who can get away Lately that has impacted on the availability of suitably qualified individuals and/or those at least willing to take up the whistle Mitigation then but hardly an excuse

Why is then that some sessions are starved of officials? Do some folk think that injury means there’s no need to remain involved Or to at least be present to help out or is the temptation to stay in hiding until deemed fit enough to return to playing action? Isn’t it simpler to use a spell out of playing action to present a chance to stay involved; be useful to the Club, watching from the closest vantage point possible, proactively speeding recovery by offering to help out?

There are some that only want to play and have no other desire than that, a rather selfish view Sometimes a stand-in referee is surprised to learn how hard the role can be But we should all appreciate that with that narrow focus little can ever be achieved

Let us embrace being the best help we can be to the Club. The Club ultimately belongs to its members so the more each individual can contribute to that Club the better for all

1. Paraphrasing JFK ‘Ask not what my country can do for you, ask what I can do for my country’

For Country read Club

The point is we all have skills, drive or insight to make the collective experience better Please don’t think this doesn’t apply to you - it applies to us all

Monday’s opening session at Ruskin was well attended, a plethora of 37 members apparently ready able and waiting to play But when the eventual games got underway not one Referee was available

A for Availability

Purple 6 v 3 Yellow

Purple raced into a 2-0 lead and then got a bit complacent with everyone trying to get on the score sheet. The inevitable happened with first Tom Derby then Tom Parr being left on their own up field (goal hangers!) to square it off at 2-2. Lord Rainford put Purple back in front when he read a pass out from keeper Roger Moore that was intended for Stretch. From then on Purples made no mistake with goals from Glen, Alan and Chris putting them out of reach before Tom added yellow’s 3rd as a last-minute consolation.

Purple 4 v Blacks 1

Purple were shaken out of complacency after their win over yellows when Steve the Honeyman put blacks ahead. But they were then able to fight back with goals from Alan, Chris, Glenn and a collector’s item from Snakehips after a good team move. Less one sided than the score suggests with Harry keeping out numerous attempts by Mike, Steve and Amazon P.

Both games played in good spirit in absence of refs with players owning up to their own offences [apart from Les 😊 ]

There was also a bit from Andy Manager which he put on the Exec group which I’ve cut and pasted below so you don’t have to go digging:-

37 attendees. 5x6 and 1x7.

Pink v. Sky.

Sky went 3-0 up so Phil swapped with Geoff Prout.

I scored for Pink. Think it finished 4-1. I think Speedy Mick got a couple. Can't remember who scored the others.

Match 2...Pink v. Yellow. A fantastic game. Finished 4-4.

Yellow, Wicky and Tom 2 goals each.

Pink, Mark and Phil 2 goals each

There was a record 36 Wednesday night attendees at the Sutton SoccerDome Games played in sweltering heat on the fastest pitch in the West Happily we do have photos and team details to offer (well 4 out of 6 at least)

A Blue - Deano, Steve C, Subbuteo Dave, Les H, Eileen and Little John

White - Steve Honeyman, Chris 4G, Citeh Geoff, Lord Rainford, Midweek Michelle and Lewis Honeyman

Yellow - Deggsy, Cockney Rebel, Simon, Peter T, Geoff Poole and Joe the Ghost

Orange - Ian H, Jason, Neil Stretch, Kirsty, Wickie and Andy Holland

B for Believing

Ref Jeff Betty Birchall returning to the Bear Pit with 2 games falling under his watchful gaze

His first game featured B Blue ( yes we used spare Blue bibs) B Blue utilised Eamon (what not refereeing?) Andy Man and Steve (but which one?) all hitting the net in a 6-4 win against Red we do know Haggis and Chris 10P each claimed two goals for Red but their team mates ticked the anonymous box So sketchy details again

In game 2 A Blue (even I’m confused) narrowly lost out to Red Chris 10P scored a couple and took a huge tumble losing his footing on the shifting sands Grav was the other Red scorer It is rumoured Steve Carine ended a recent goal drought with two goals for A Blue

Happily all players survived the experience a few flesh wounds the only evidence of tricky surface

C for Confused

El Presidente took charge of the Citrus Derby with Oranges and Lemons providing the opening game on Pitch 3 The opening goal was claimed by the late Jason timing his arrival to fire Orange into the lead

Meanwhile White were running riot against Blue (A or possibly B) by 4 goals to 1 Michelle, Citeh Geoff and Honeymen (1 each) Les Hewitt got the Blue consolation Les was soon to repeat the feat to narrow the gap 4-2 Deano struck a late penalty to make it 4-3 White just about holding on after cruising for much of the contest

Orange played White in the second game, which built into a great game after a slow start Both teams needed reminders to slow things such was the will to win Steve Honeyman produced a string of fine saves to keep Orange at bay Orange with some crisp passing and loads of possession but unable to find a winner

Blue took a narrow 2-1 win thanks to goals from Colin and Eamon (still not refereeing?) with Yellow’s solo goal from Peter T

News of new kit to solve the on-going ‘this bib is too small’ dilemma was the talk of the Boot Room Some brave Boot Room regulars were persuaded to strip off to model the shirts for a tacky publicity stunt that will feature on the Turks Head Facebook pages in the near future The plan is to launch the new look at Monday’s Ruskin session, washing instructions have been circulated to prevent disaster Our thanks must go to Daryl Arrowsmith Guvnor of the Turks Head who has generously sponsored this project

Admiration all round for Kirsty Stockton for her abseiling of the Liverpool Anglican Cathedral on Saturday in support of the Clatterbridge Cancer Charity The very thought of looking down from that height too much for some of our membership

Best wishes for a speedy recovery to Harry the Hatchet Williams (no relation to Martin Chopper Williams) who had emergency gallbladder surgery also on Saturday

The end of Official Birthday Week Celebrations to mark Lord Rainford’s recent birthday is planned for Monday and the Slipper Salon is being readied for the formal 21 gun salute and ritual cake provision

Z for ZZZs

The Referee’s Alphabte* - Half Man, Half Biscuit ( another woolybacked Wirral outfit)