Rainbow Valley*

No apologies for a Blog title that evokes distant memories of 1968

Simpler times, of Robert Knight, of Love Affair and little to do with Walking Football

Monday morning’s Ruskin session was to be our original filming day but that treat has been postponed for 2 weeks, only then will the true story finally be revealed

Instead this week’s treat was the arrival and testing of our new Turks Head/St Helens Walking Football Club shirts Six team colours and happily not one complaint of colour blindness or ill-fitting attire As can be seen below the teams looked great - even if you identify as a non-player with these shirts you at least look the part Like the generous application of embrocation for a team of bang ordinary players - you might not be fit but at least you smell fit Whilst it wasn’t quite all the colours of the rainbow, our senses were given a mighty boost with the array of bright sexy colour

The switch from heat wave to just rather warm attracted another bumper crowd 35 players 3 Referees, add one Ref who could enjoy a morning off to play, plus assorted spectators and camp followers It was a gratifying sight

The team selection process went remarkably smoothly with Andy Man(anger) a picture of calm rage and measured mischief The teams selected were;

Purple - Colin the late, Aldo the laundry nominee, Grav, Chopper, Jan and Chris K

Old Gold - Lord Rainford (his gold of choice), Tom Stretch, Amazon Prime, Les H, Glen and PaulF

Black - Geoff Poole, Phil Moss, Steve Honeyman, Andy Man, Anita (back after 13 months on injured list), Geoff Prout and Little John

Green - Enoch, Haggis, Triallist, Kirsty and Mike Bates (pre-kick off Prout G was switched at huge cost to Black)

Red - Mike Thomo, Tony W (sometime XXXL model) Tom Derby, McSpeed, Jeff Betty and Mark NR

Blue - Cockney Rebel, Ashy, Eileen, Wickie, Brian and Phil the Power

Cub Referee Mike Andrews, cut his teeth with a couple of juicy games to whet his appetite

Blue played Purple in a very even game Both sides passed the ball well in truth there was little to differentiate between the sides Colin slotted home for Purple but goals by Wickie and Eileen, with some good footwork to create her chance, sealed the narrow 2-1 result Blue just about deserving their maiden win in the new kit

Their second game was a much more comprehensive display Purple with too much all round mobility for Red Goals by Aldo 3, Chris K 2 and Grav 2 ensured the victory There was a controversial consolation goal for Red with Mike Thompson tucking away a rare chance 7-1 the final verdict Not sure quite what the controversy was about maybe Purple just too competitive for their own good We were later informed that the Purple shirts were flying high on a washing line in Kirkby Photographic evidence of the Red shirts flying high was provided by Tom Derby A photograph of the Ajax laundry lady hanging shirts on a line outside the stadium is shown for those in any doubt about the origin of this tradition is shown for reference

Serious attention being shown to the new kit then

Old Gold refused to be rolled over by Red in their first match, Refereed by Mr O’Hooligan After a spell of warm weather training in Spain Ref Jeff Betty enjoyed a spot of playing and found the net for Red Strike partner McSpeed was also on the spot to fire home as Red threatened to eclipse their much fancied opponents Two goals by Tom Stretch ensured Old Gold was not tarnished in its first outing The game ended with the honours even 2-2 the final result There was some talk of a penalty conceded for too many ‘not walking’ infractions but sadly no report to confirm that claim

The final game featured Green visiting the Old Gold treasury Another mighty close affair in the end decided by a solitary goal scored by Mike Bates

El Presidente ran the rule over the games played at the Far End Black were the host team facing a very mobile and inventive Green side that moved the ball around with huge confidence and accuracy Two goals by the excellent abseiler Kirsty ensured Green finished on top Some good saves from Anita, a welcome return after too long on the sidelines, and Steve Honeyman kept the Black in the hunt However the comparative lack of Black fire power meant Green enjoyed a comfortable start

The last match of the session pitched Blue as visitors to face Black Steve Honeyman found the net in a rare attacking foray to fire Black into a shock lead The balance swung back with Cockney Rebel converting a penalty awarded for a DOGSO Before Phil the Power and then Wickie were on target to stretch the Blue ahead 3-1 There was an unexpected late goal from Geoff Prout as Black rallied but Blue held out to ensure Black ended the morning with nothing to show for their morning’s work No news of the washing yet but be assured everything will be pristine for next week’s session

The Slipper Salon was a gentile reminder of days gone by, with Brownies provided from the Rainford pantries to mark the chosen one’s birthday week Nominations for the laundry meisters were announced with a special provision of bags for life to carry away those garments used in the morning’s fun How times change

Wednesday night’s Sutton SoccerDome set-to was a much anticipated test with low sun and very humid conditions making the pitch quicker than ever We had the much delayed arrival of two newbies with Ian Smith and Brian Jennings lining up after another delay with International Clearance The boys completed the Club’s much fated Questionnaire back in May 2024, their debuts were marked with 2 very respectable displays

The full line ups were;

Red - Haggis, Roger, Tom Stretch, Peter T, Eamon, Lord Rainford and Ian H

White - Andy Man, Ian Smith, Steve Smith (NR) Grav, Geoff Poole, Midweek Michelle and Simon

Yellow - Deggs, Chris 10P,Mark Dav, Kirsty, Jason, Brian Jennings, Phil the Power and Les H

Sky - Darron, Wickie, Cockney Rebel, Eileen, Joe the Ghost, Gaz, Deano and Little Hohn

Pitch 1 with Ref Jeff featured Red v White and the contest almost over before it started Just 20 seconds into the game Lord Rainford recorded the quickest own goal in SHWFC history Red facing an uphill battle capitulated to trail by 4 goals at the break That score line prompted remedial intervention with Andy Man enforcing changes that gave the second period a totally different tone Three unanswered Red goals at the start of the second stanza meant a real contest was finally underway Andy Man fired home to push White 5-3 ahead Peter T added the sixth, before Steve Smith settled any remaining doubts 7-3 Haggis had departed the game with indecipherable comments to leave Red a player short Midweek Michelle notched the final goal, calmily converting from close in 8-3 the final score Steve Smith 3, Simon 2, Andy Man, Midweek Michelle and that crushing own goal were the White scorers Peter T and a fine strike by Scotland’s favourite son on target for Red

After the goal avalanche on Pitch 1 the evening’s other game was a brilliant performance by two very well balanced teams Yellow and Sky going all out to match each other in the game controlled by Banana Republic’s El Presidente At the break the sides were separated by a fine strike by Mark Daverin for Yellow After the break Sky pounded the Yellow goal with a succession of shots, free kicks and attempts One drive by Gaz seemed to be arrowing into the corner of the Yellow net only for Chris 10P to fling himself sideways to divert the ball away for a corner

Almost inevitably Yellow broke the deadlock with Chris 10P steering home from distance to double the Yellow lead Deano finally found space in a crowded Yellowcfinal third to score past Deggs 2-1 and Sky pushing to find a leveller Despite dominating possession and field position Sky had no luck finding an equaliser Time expired with handshakes all round Great game with some fine passing and creativity but goals so hard to come by 2-1 Yellow victorious

The post match media session in the Turks Head Boot Room focused on the many positives taken from the week Own goal descriptions and huffy walk offs were oddly not on the agenda Another great week in SHWFC land and nearly time to do it all again in our next episode

Volunteers to appear in our much heralded but hush hush advertisement will be required on Filming Day Monday 28th July The Director is hoping to film a group of people walking through the streets on their way to the Big Game More details to follow

Rainbow Valley* - 1967 Robert Knight song ‘My Rainbow Valley’ recorded by Love Affair (or was it?) and UK hit in 1968