In the wise words of that eminent philosopher and part time footballer (US), athlete, soldier, ping pong star and multi-millionaire Gump F. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get! So it is with Walking Football A routine Wednesday evening session planned for Sutton Leisure Centre passed into history as the night when things went a tad pear shaped
Injuries, representative trial commitments and a clash with a televised Cup game prevented some members from their walk out We also heard from Huyton's finest in the build up to the evening that he'd hurt his head - 'my own fault' - leaving lots of doubt as to the origin of the injury We wait for the full story to unfold but knowing Derek Disco Deggs Taylor it won't be a simple answer
Seventeen players made the starting line up to be put through a series of agonising twists and turns by Gaz. The Club's fabled Moneyball algorithm was then employed by Coach Davies to determine 2 teams of 6 and one team of 5 (usual guest rules then utilised)
The teams were;
White - Gaz, Colin, Lefty, Cockney Rebel, Lord Rainford and Joe the Ghost
Pink - Gary, Grav, El Presidente, Vicar of Dibbley, Lee and Tony Snakehips
Yellow - Citeh Geoff, Speedo Mick, Phil, Chopper and debutant Steve Ford
The first match featured a very strong looking Whites facing Pinks, a tense match up from the start Pinks a little unbalanced but competitive facing a team with a good mixture of all rounders The play edged back and forth with Pinks seizing the decisive goal thanks to some good team work and an unstoppable strike from Gary 1-0 to Pink and great start to the evening Special mention to Grav producing a fine save courtesy of his nether regions to keep the Whites at bay
Game two introduced the Yellows to the action with a tough match against the White Another close encounter followed with goals by Speedo Mick for Yellow cancelling a thunder bolt from Ian Lefty Bridge 1-1 the end result to a good contest New boy Steve Ford slotted into proceedings with an ease that suggests he's going to relish our sessions. As debuts go right up there with the best well done!
Game three and Pink back to face Yellow in another close game As in the evening's opening matches this was another tight contest with both sides producing some moments of magic Now Moneyball has had some occasional glitches but last night the three teams selected were judged to be fairly balanced with the closeness of results proving just how fair the selections had been The contest produced another stalemate 1-1 As did the final game of the first part of the night's action Pink and White all square at 1-1 after the final whistle No record of the goal scorers was available to the Editor and in the melee that followed this is perhaps understandable
Coach Davies relayed a change of playing regime to the Group but clearly the message and the thinking behind the need to change didn't quite reach all players As an experiment we were asked to move away from our normal 3 touch variant to an all in style - OK all agreed But the complex division of the pitch to zones with players exclusively allocated to each of these sectors proved a hurdle too complicated too soon. The night's penultimate game was played with one team clued up and the other left wondering what they were supposed to do Consequently Pink were ill-equipped to match their clued up White opponents who took full advantage of the confusion Joe might have ghosted a hat trick* but as no record was kept it will be forever a hollow achievement
An apology has been received this morning from El Presidente who concluded his evening's play with a tirade that only a maniacal dictator could deliver 'It's a funny old game Saint' as Greaves J might have suggested.
The night's remaining fixture was a tame affair with White and Yellow reverting to 'normal' rules So tame that no record of the score or scorers emerged But you all did very well
The Boot Room post-match Press Conference was an equally tame affair We did have the positive news of the return of Chris Gonzalo Higuain after his recent knee surgery Good to see him back at Sutton and in the Boot Room too There was news of the NW England triallists Andy Capt. Houghton and Allan Molly Maldon Both enjoyed the chance to test themselves against players of the highest quality We keep our fingers crossed for news of their progress Referee Jeff Betty had a quiet night and handled proceedings with his usual calm somnambulant manner
Its Just a little Misunderstanding* - The Contours