Defender*

What a difference a few days can make One week ago Phil the Power was basking in the glory of a spectacular performance in the Ruskin session with a great contribution and goals to his team’s session This Monday he endured the agony of unfortunate injury with damaged ribs his only reward - a perilous grip any of us can have on fleeting fate at any time

El Presidente donned his newish boots for half a game, his first outing after many months out of action His return, however, quickly turned sour as his Green team struggled in a game they should romped Credit to opponents Black but the elderly defender was horrified with the naivety of some team mates who just couldn’t come to terms with the basics of defending Players wandered the pitch as if they’d never played football Defensive duties were ignored or regarded as some foreign concept The invitation to ‘get goal side’ or ‘close up’ on an opponent were too obscure to follow Conversations later revealed that most knew they were supposed to mark opponents by adopting a position between that player and your goal So why then elect to ignore that school kid lesson when actually involved in the game? Three goals were conceded before there was any attempt to properly defend by taking up a primary positional approach Any moderately decent player can score when presented with no marking and an open goal So perhaps we need to practice that basic technique before playing again….. Rant over for now

The Ruskin conditions were very threatening with rain seeming inevitable at some point Oddly save for a few moments just before the session’s end we were spared the deluge Thirty two players were shoe-horned into 2 games partly due to the lack of referees Thanks to Charlie who enjoyed a good morning with the respect of all who played in his games The other games were refereed in part by Jeff Betty and El Presidente who switched at half time

The team selected were

Black - PaulF, Steve Honeyman, Mark NR, Les Meldrew, Citeh Geoff, Aldo, Prout Sen and Little John

Green - Haggis, Barry Wizz, Phil the Cat, Ashy, Steve Jones, Gonzalo, El Presidente and Phil the Power

Blue - Cockney Rebel, Chris K, Enoch, Big Tony, Wickie, Jenko, Mike Bate and Sheila

Old Gold - Tom Stretch, Geoff Poole, Robin, Les H, Kirsty, Snakehips, Andy Man and Michelle Monday

Jeff Betty was in charge of the Blue v Old Gold opener on Pitch 2, a tasty game played in great spirit The outcome was an honourable draw with Cockney Rebel and Kirsty claiming the goals in this intriguing tussle

Charlie kept an eye on the Green v Black match As we now know Black roared into a 3 -0 lead thanks to Steve Honeyman embarrassing the reputations of the Green rearguard He might have added two more but for eagle eye Charlie who disallowed ‘goals’ for ‘not walking’ The game had started well with Green stretching their opponents with some good passing Black defended well, blocking several chances (easy when you’re in the right position to defend properly) and smart saves At three down, a determined effort to smarten up brought goals for Gonzalo with a brace But Black rode their luck and held out to win 3-2

El Presidente switched from poacher to gamekeeper for the second match with Green (complete with Jeff Betty) travelling to face Blue on Pitch 2 The game was scrappy but Green shaded the result thanks to another two goal salvo from Gonzalo Blue were competitive but lacking a real cutting edge Jenko fired a consolation from some distance 2-1 the final result Green prevailing against plucky Blue

Charlie’s second game featured Black and Old Gold another very close encounter The Honeyman claimed his fourth goal of the session for Black Tom Stretch scored in reply for Old Gold as once more the session produced a series of close games Two draws, two games decided by just a one goal margin Full marks to our Football Manager, his ability to make team selections to encourage close competitive matches on show yet again

The post match Slipper Salon session has a new look whilst renovation work is underway at the Wicket Clubhouse Space during the alterations is now at a premium but it didn’t deter Confectionery specialist Phil the Cat providing suitable services for his hungry fellow members His Lemon Drizzle cake was given a massive vote of thanks and a 10 out of 10 by cake expert Tom ‘Stretch’ Parr El Presidente and Chris Kelsall were mightily impressed with the chocolate bites on offer too No pressure for next week then

Wednesday’s Sutton SoccerDome session was set against a backdrop of heavy rain during most of the day Would that deter the hardy folk of SHWFC?

Well it would seem not as 22 played two rather good games one a six-a-side melee, the other a feverish five-a-side contest The teams were;

Black - Tracey, Rachel, Deano, Subbuteo Dave and Jason

White - Helen, PJ, Grav, Midwekk Michelle, Joe the Ghost and Ian H

Blue - Cockney Rebel, Citeh Geoff, Colin, Mutchy and Haggis

Yellow - Steve Honeyman, Les H, Andy Man, Dawn and Kirsty

Yellow and Blue brewed up a storm with a catalogue of ‘incidents’ There was a leg issue (nice and vague), contact lens issue, in addition one participant stood on the ball before falling predictably to earth on their butt Dawn produced a world class save, whilst Les H saved from a penalty Haggis in sufficiently fortified in the Irn Bru department The woodwork (other materials a distinct possibility) was rattled no less than 8 times The score was in the end a creditable 3-3 draw Steve Honeyman with two and Kirsty found the net for Yellow We do know Mutchy scored one in reply News of the other Blue scorers lost in translation

There was a goal avalanche in Black and White Minstrel Derby White too strong for their paler opponents Leading 5-1 before remedial transfer activity switched Ian and Rachel Black took a much stronger grip on proceedings to close out the scoring at 8-5

The White scorers were; PJ with two, Joe ghosted a brace too, Grav, Helen, Ian and Rachel

Black replied wth strikes by Subbuteo Dave 2, Jason 2, and Deano

Ref Jeff Betty was full of praise for the overall neat passing and movement An entertaining match in which everyone played their part

Defender* - Sweet (70s glam rockers) Peter Andre (Australian Fluff) and Rory Gallagher (Ballyshannon’s most famous son)