Christmas Won’t Be The Same This Year*

Our latest sessions in the week before the Annual SHWFC Christmas Club Celebration at the Turks Head on Friday took on a distinct character of their own Monday morning’s usual Ruskin Sports Village gathering was played in benign conditions whilst all around Storm Bram wreaked havoc In typical fashion SHWFC was able to get the job done without too much discomfort

The array of referees available was somewhat different but members responded to the circumstances in a typically good natured and very positive manner

The sides lined up as follows;

Blue - Monday Michelle, Billy, Citeh Geoff, Mike Thomo and Glen

Green - Honeyman, Mark NR, PaulF, Sheila and Chris K

Purple - Enoch, Eamon, Andy, Margaret and Robin

Red - Tom Stretch, Mossy, Jill Tomo, Les Meldrew and Rick

Black - Steve Jones, Haggis, Wickie, Liz, John Hill and Cornelius

Old Gold - Phil the Power, Ref Jeff Betty, Snakehips, Little John, Sully and Prout G

The appointed and anointed Referees for the morning were; Mika, Les Lomax and Anita

The results from Pitch A (nearest the grandstand) B adjacent and C sometimes known as the far end - Imaginative lot Walking Footballers

Pitch A with Mika handling proceedings with ruthless efficiency

Blue 3 v 3 Red

Goals by Glen 2 and Mike for Blue

Jill, Tom and Les for Red

Red 6 v 1 Purple

Hatrick by Phil, Tom with 2 and Jill with 2 ( technically that’s 7 but who is counting? Who indeed!

Andy did hit the solitary goal by Purple

Pitch B with Les Lomax in charge

Purple 3 v 2 Green

An O’Hooligan hat trick for Purple silenced the hostile crowd Chris Kelsall grabbed the Green consolation

Green 1 v 5 Blue

Chris Kelsall continued his earlier goal haul with another consolation

Meanwhile Michelle hit two for Blue with Mike Thomo claiming the match all with 3 (good luck trying to get that by the way)

Over to our last report of the morning with Referee Anita running (walking surely?) an eye over the game with Old Gold facing Black Here we’ve the privilege of the insightful comments of Ref Jeff Betty who added observation to his footballing and refereeing powers just for you dear reader!

The score was an evidently clear win for the Black however behind that headline lies a fuller story

We learned the ‘Old Gold worked their socks off to stay in the hunt This cliche omits the telling stat that Old Gold’s re-awakening only started with Black already 4-0 ahead Sully kick-started the recovery attempt but could not prevent Black romping to the 5-1 victory that their opening salvo had granted them Black scorers were; Haggis 2 and two excellent goals too, Wickie, John Hill (his first goal) and Liz There was a debut for Cornelius Pybus, who collected the award for novel name of the week, whilst slotting into the Black machine

Wednesday night’s Sutton SoccerDome session followed again in the familiar pattern The indoor session struggling for numbers, only adding to the certainty that this indulgence will not be part of the offering for Autumn/Winter 2026 The real shame is that the alternative outdoor session is fielded on a deteriorating AstroTurf surface We will continue to explore options for a better pitch provision but there is a real lack of suitable pitch resources across the Borough

Watch this space

In the event, with a degree of jiggery and pokery two close and entertaining matches were possible One indoors in the searing white heat of the Sports Hall and the other on the frozen steppes of the AstoTurf

The Innards were;

Blue - Tom Stretch, Grav, Joe the Ghost, Phil the Power and Lord Rainford

White - Citeh Geoff, Andy Man, Jenny Harding (an excellent debutante), Triallist and Les Meldrew

The game was an epic story of attack and possession pitted against organised defence and counter attack Blue dominated the game but as is sometimes the way, their inability to punish their opponents whilst on top was their undoing Two flowing passages of counter-attacking paid off for White thanks to goals by Les and the Triallist put the game out of reach 2-0 the final score Full marks for debutante Jenny, playing her first ever Walking Football and making light of that to impress with an excellent first touch and neat hold up play There was an unfortunate incident when Les Meldrew was savagely the object of pincer-movement jakery by a Member of the Aristocracy and LFC Safety operative Bravely our Treasurer was able to hobble on to complete the game without dropping any of the night’s monetary collection

Outside the game was an absolute gem as reflected by the shoreline The teams were;

Red - Little John, Haggis, Gonzalo, Sully, Deggs, Cockney Rebel, Benno and Jason

Yellow - Helen, Chris 10P, Neil Stretch, Subbuteo Dave, PJ, Midweek Michelle, Steve C and Mike Thomo

El Presidente held a tight grip on play from the first whistle to slow the frenetic pace down to a mere sprint In controversial style he ruled out a goal for each side The Chris Crises involved a Chris ‘Gonzalo’ Fitz goal for Red ruled out for not walking with Yellow punished for a similar offence when Chris 10P couldn’t resist accelerating onto a lose clearance to fire home

In the action that really did count, Cockney Rebel latched on to a true rarity, a Deggs pass, to crash the ball into the net Moments later a pass from Sully sent Haggis away to find the net from his left wing position into the far corner A great strike to deservedly double the Red advantage 2-0 On the verge of half time Steve Carine took a second touch strike on to find the net and bring Yellow back in to the contest Red had seemed well in control but the goal and then interval rested the initiative back towards Yellow

A great effort by Gonzalo eased the pressure Red back with a two goal cushion We then had a period of high drama with the disallowed ‘goals’ before Mike Thomo put Yellow back in the fray At 3-2 the game had a brilliant period with both sides staking their claims for ultimate victory As time elapsed Red held out to claim a hard earned win Credit to both teams for producing a superb contest Deggs had his best game for ages with some good passing and his usual all action contribution Helen grew in confidence as the game progressed She combined well with her team mates and occupied the wide spaces with real purpose Chris Sully continued his great ‘run’ of form In truth every player chipped in with timely interceptions and crisp accurate passing Great contest Huge respect for all involved

This Christmas football will break with tradition thanks to the lure of filthy broadcast money Just one PL fixture on Boxing Day If ever there was a reason to support local non-league football then there it is With next year’s SoccerBall 26 in USA the naked greed of professional football has never been so apparent So do yourself a huge favour and go and watch some real non-league football this festive period

We’ve had a Mega-year in SHWFC land We’ve celebrated 10 years since our foundation in great style Our sessions have bristled with tight very evenly contested games One of our regular favourites has become a World Champion And lest we forget we became The Most Famous Walking Football Club in World (…probably)

Christmas Won’t Be The Same This Year* - Jackson Five (just one track from the Motown Christmas Album a must for all music lovers)