Christmas (W)rapping*

Another year draws to an end for SHWFC members with the final sessions before our festive break played in a celebratory atmosphere.

Monday morning’s Ruskin Sports Village featured 30 players, 3 referees, and a plethora of spectators. Our most experienced referee, Jeff Betty Birchall, took on the role of cub reporter for this blog.

For the record, the teams selected were:

• Purple (or Plum as he prefers): Brian, Monday Michelle, Glen, Andy Man, and Ashy

• Red (Redberry?): Mark NR, Chopper, Mika, Cockney Rebel, Gonzalo, and Cornelius

• Blue (Blueberry): Haggis, Mossy, Citeh Geoff, Les H, and Jill Tomo

• Black (Blackcurrant): Lord Rainford (Mr Mole for the photographer), Les Meldrew, Tom Stretch, John Hill, Eamon, and Mike Thomo

• Old Gold (Lemon - unreal): Little John, Triallist, Sheila Santa, Chris K, and Phil the Power

• Green (Lime): Honeyman, Snakehips, McSpeed, GRAV, and Wickie

  
  
  
  

For the purposes of journalistic accuracy, we are using the report filed as an indicator only. Most avid regular readers would be lost halfway through the first paragraph.

Game Highlights

Pitch A

Game 1: Lime 4 vs Plum 2

Mike (4) Lime

Michelle (1), Brian (1) Plum

McSpeed scored all 4 goals as Green overcame Purple, who replied with goals by Brian and Michelle. All good so far?

Game 2: Lime 2 vs Blueberry 2

Steve (1), Mike (1) Lime

Les (1), Phil (1) Blueberry

Green's Honeyman and McSpeed were on target, with Phil Moss and Les Hewitt earning Blue a deserved draw.

A word of thanks to Charlie for keeping the peace in both games.

Pitch B

Game 1: Blueberry 1 vs Lemon 1

Haggis Blueberry

Chris Lemon

Haggis added another goal for Blue to extend his excellent 2025 record, but Old Gold’s Chris Kelsall found the net in reply. 1-1 and a cracking game by independent testimony.

Game 2: Lemon 3 vs Plum 4

Chris (1), Triallist (1), Sheila (1) Lemon

Brian (1), Glen (1), Michelle (1) Plum

Despite the absence of a fourth scorer, Purple claimed a narrow win over Old Gold in a (six or) seven-goal thriller. Aldo was referee for both these contests, bringing his quirky interpretation of Walking Football Laws of the Game into play.

Pitch C

Pitch C featured a single game with Blackcurrant and Red/Ras/Strawberry (harder to edit than write the original version) facing each other. Ref Jeff was in charge of a 14-goal deluge, with a goal every 3.5 minutes to keep him on his toes. Red were good in possession but not so good when forced to defend. The game was much closer than expected until Black tired in the final 8 minutes.

Gonzalo hit a double hat trick, Mark scored 2, and Cockney Rebel added a solo strike for Red. Black hit back with a double by Eamon, a brace by Mike Thomo, and Les Meldrew with a singleton. The final result was a comprehensive 9-5 victory for Red. The Man of the Match was Black’s Lord Rainford, with a series of timely blocks and superb saves during his stint between the posts. There’s no suggestion that Ref Jeff’s opinion might have been unduly influenced (the very thought). Can’t wait to read the Facebook post intro!

Midweek Meanderings

The midweek meander, occasionally known as Sutton SoccerDome’s session, continued the trend of low attendance numbers. Members were absent for a variety of reasons: otherwise engaged, too cold, too wet, or simply ennui, perhaps? Whatever the reason, they missed one of the finest night’s sessions, with both indoor and outdoor games producing scintillating performances enjoyed by all involved.

The Innards teams were:

• White: Citeh Geoff, Phil the Power, GRAV, Les H, and Les Meldrew

• Pink: Colin, Honeyman, Joe the Ghost, John Cousins, and Triallist

  
  
  
  

The action was fast and furious, with both teams intent on finishing as Christmas Number 1 and the reigning soft show shufflers for the year. John Cousins excelled in the early exchanges, netting a brace while employing his long legs to great effect in his defensive duties. Pink led with that first-half performance, but White hit back thanks to goals by GRAV and Citeh Geoff to tie the game up at 2-2. But with epic timing, Cousins sealed victory with the last kick of the game. Ref Jeff allowed the goal just as his phone signalled for full time. 3-2 Pink! Blushes spared, White close but no Christmas cigars.

Outward Bounders Encounter

The Outward Bounders' end-of-term encounter matched the intensity and competitive qualities of the Sports Hall match but in trying conditions, with blustery wind and intermittent showers. The teams on duty included:

• Yellow: Tom Stretch, Mike Thomo, Cockney Rebel, Lord Rainford, Subbuteo Dave, Andy Man, and Chris Sully

• Orange: Little John, Chris 10P, PJ, Ian Harding, Neil Stretch, Jason, and Helen

  
  
  
  

The game started as usual with a frantic pace that needed Referee El Presidente’s persuasive coaxing to slow down. The players heeded the advice, with just 4 ‘not walking’ infringements over the entire session. The ball was lovingly respected and passed around with great effect by both sides. Yellow found the opening goal courtesy of Chris Sully, who was on the end of a sweeping team move to put Yellow a goal to the good. Orange asserted their version of that same pass-and-move style and were rewarded when Helen wrong-footed the last line of defence to bring the sides back to parity at 1-1. Ian Harding took Orange a goal ahead with a strong finish after more quality passing, making it 1-2. Orange retained their slight edge as the sides turned around at the break.

A word for some eccentric and excellent defence: Little John showed a great speed-walking technique to snuff out some dangerous Yellow attacks. Lord Rainford preserved his record for the week with some timely interceptions. He read the warning signs to keep on the good side of El Presidente with his usual ‘have it’ approach. Unorthodox but effective, he restricted the Yellow attackers to scraps.

As the game continued, chances became less and less apparent. Defences were well marshalled on both sides. At the final whistle, it was remarkable that the second half was goalless. There was no shortage of half chances, but few clear-cut opportunities and consequently few shots on target. The result was a close-run victory for Orange, 2-1, in a game that had everything we’ve come to expect.

Two fine sides, some excellent passing teamwork, and top-quality defence. Wow, two tight games and just eight goals from the whole session! Congratulations to everyone who played.

The post-match media session was a great celebration of mutual respect and friendship. At this time of the year, it’s a fine indictment for our game.

Have a wonderful Christmas and a prosperous New Year! We will return on Monday 5th January at Ruskin and/or Wednesday 7th January at Sutton SoccerDome.

Christmas (W)rapping - The Waitresses

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nud2TQNahaU