You Don’t Always Get What You Want*

The footballing Gods work in mysterious ways A smattering of members gathered for their midweek fix relieved that the weather whilst threatening was probably going to miss Sutton and unleash a deluge on other parts of the borough

El Presidente made a crucial intervention to sign newcomer Mark Nield in time to play The fax machine at Walking Football’s International Clearance Department was able to confirm the deed thanks to the usual fee (used notes no consecutive serial numbers) Bitcoin was not used at any stage Mark was then involved in the game on the night’s under card game

Notes of the participants and details of the session were mislaid by Lord Rainford’s peasant beater (no spelling error there) who was exhausted after a day on the ennobled one’s grouse moors

The main event was of course the First Semi Final of the Tournoi, the event over-shadowing the Eurovision saga which has in turn over-shadowed the Coronation of King

Brian The match pitched a tasty looking tie with the Over 60s A taking on the Upstarts (or Over 40s) as they are sometimes called The 60s or Reds were much changed from their earlier travails but on paper at least none the weaker

The Over 40s in Blue had changes too so the bookies were unable find a clear favourite

The Second Semi Final takes place this Wednesday same venue and timing Tournament favourites the Over 65s in their game against a lively Over 50s The winners of both semis will face off on Thursday 25th May at Ruskin in a pitch specially being prepared for such a prestigious occasion The Club’s AGM and Presentation night will follow in the Wicket

Full details of the AGM will be circulated as demanded by our trusty Secretary in good time as required by our Constitution

Wednesday’s match got underway with the following line ups starting;

Over 60s A - Red - Geoff Prout, Phil the Power, Wickie, Tony K, Colin the Late and Andy Man(anger)

The full squad included Ian Lefty Bridge, Paul Chuckle and Steve Honeyman who were introduced into proceedings in the first window

Over 40s - Blue- Neil coach, Nigel, Chris Prout, Phil Holland, Haggis and Disco Deggs

The remaining Squad to be introduction via the Substitution Window included Gonzalo, Cockney Rebel and Chris 4G

The game started with The 60s threatening to over power the Upstarts Early signs were ominous with Colin, Andy and Phil the Power all testing the tumbling coach Neil in theUpstarts goal A combination of posts and some inspiring saves somehow kept the game scoreless As The 60s frustration continued a rare breakaway raid led to the dynamic (if unlikely pairing) duo of Haggis and Disco Deggs created the first goal the Scot curling a delightful finish across the keeper into the far corner 1-0

The 40s ahead having hardly strung a sequence of passes together such had been the 60s dominance Almost immediately that lead doubled with Disco Deggs rushing onto a through ball to crash home The goal was reminiscent of a ‘ghost’ goal denied to the Cockney Rebel the previous week

Blues continued to probe the younger opponents defence and narrowly missed on several occasions It was very hard to believe the score line

The weather took a distinct downturn with squally rain adding insult to injury, the situation only exacerbated when Chris Prout surged from mid park to fire home off a post 3-0 At the other end Andy and then Phil the Power fired just wide No luck for the Over 60s when it was most needed

The 1st Substitution window brought a greater measure of control for the Upstarts Gonzalo lost no time in stretching the lead to 4-0 Disco Deggs produced a purple patch as he has done in the Pool games with 2 goals to mark his hat trick Blues now rampant at 6 up As half time Cockney Rebel joined in goal feast to make it 7-0

After the break Haggis had an element of good fortune when a side-footed effort struck the base of the post only to bounce off the Honeyman’s back to creep inside the net for 8-0

In an instant the game summed up by cruel fortune at one end a string of near misses whilst at the other end of the pitch all the breaks were clinically taken by the rampant Upstarts

The procession of unlucky shots blocks or saves continued with Lefty, the Power, Colin and Andy all thwarted

Gonzalo meanwhile claimed his hat trick with goals 9 and at the death a 13th. Phil Holland had finished smartly to make it 10-0, Nigel a block busting 11th, Chris Prout marked another impressive showing with the 12th

The Upstarts had certainly lain down a marker for the final. On this form they’ll take some stopping

Sportingly, the Over 60s continued to press looking for some break through and kudos for their determination and spirit In a further blow to their chances Paul Chuckle had to withdraw citing on-going injury difficulties Reds never relented despite the score, creating chances throughout without troubling the score board On another day who knows?

This Upstart side has energy, organisation and vision to read and snuff out danger, a pair of very competent keepers and above all goals from throughout the squad

Standing in their way in the final of the Tournoi will be the Over 50s with their own array of goal threats, drive and enthusiasm or the battle hardened Over 65s who have been ruthless when required, with bags of experience and guile, defensively very wily and canny

Whoever wins this Semi Final will present a massive test on 25th May

You Don’t Always Get What You Want* - The Rolling Stones